No Homework – A New Policy at our Elementary School

Something new happened at our elementary school this year. The principal implemented a school-wide rule: no homework. No worksheets, no book reports, no times table drills. No homework for the kindergarteners, no homework for the 5th graders, no homework for all the grades in between. Nothing. Well not nothing. Families are still asked to read with their kids on a daily basis. But that’s it. And that doesn’t really feel like homework. It feels like our normal bedtime routine. Our school is not alone. You may have read this article in Time, which discusses the idea that our societal reactions to homework are cyclical. We swing from demanding more homework, to refusing to do any at all. And right now, the societal trend is toward less homework. Especially for elementary school kids, because research hasn’t been able to show a correlation between homework and better learning at young ages. …

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Here’s a project that is super easy, that looks great, and that you and your kids will use daily: DIY Alphabet Magnets! With a couple of simple tools, you’ll be making these this afternoon, and your fridge will be a literary masterpiece by this evening. Since you’re making these yourself, you can decide how many of each letter you would like — extra Ts for everyone! And a set makes a charming gift for a teacher, or anyone who frequents the metal filing cabinet in their office. Did you have an alphabet set on your fridge as a kid? Remember anything special you spelled out? Let’s get to W-O-R-K! …

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By Gabrielle. Molly is a kindred spirit; we both consider crumbs our nemesis! She’s also a big believer in baskets, slipcovered furniture, prints to hide the daily kid stains, and she absolutely loves where she lives. As she says, “I have never been anywhere I like more than Asheboro.” You know I love people who love where they live! I know you’ll enjoy Molly as much as I did! Welcome, sweet Molly! My husband David, eight-year old daughter Ella, and two-year old Adeline live here with me as well as a Schnauzer-Lab mix, a fish, and a hermit crab. Three days a week, Della, the most wonderful nanny on the planet and her little girl Chloe hang out with Adeline and Ella after school while I work at the office. We consider Della family since we couldn’t survive without her for sure. She is like the salt of the earth! I would say I’m a little quirky. I love to laugh and it might actually drive some people crazy. They are always nice enough not to tell me if it does. My husband and I been married 16 years and dated five before that. I would say I am quite friendly and rarely meet a stranger. Definitely creative. My entire side of the family is creative on my mom’s side, and my husband is an engineer so we are quite opposite. I am pretty sure the oldest will be following in my footsteps. She bought her first Better Homes and Gardens magazine at five and wanted to redo the living room as well as plan a party within a few minutes. It has taken me awhile to hone my style. In the first years of our marriage and making a home, I used whatever I could get my hands on and shopped primarily in the family barns. Family, heirlooms, those are all important to me. I like to be surrounded by what makes me feel happy and all warm and fuzzy inside. The worst designing I did was most likely during the wallpaper border phase. I’m sure we had a border in every room of our first house with builder grade flat white paint. Hideous would be a good word to describe it! Then my neighbor introduced me to the Oops paint counter at the hardware store, so from there color came into our lives! It was cheap and I could do it myself. I got some sample Martha Stewart paint swatches at Kmart and it told how to paint so I went from there. I had the design degree, but doing the elbow grease, that had not been taught. With time, my taste got much better — thank goodness. I always say I was a late bloomer! …

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By Gabrielle. Photos by Amy Christie for Design Mom. This post was brought to you by Wolf. Let’s all pretend we’re just moving in and setting up our kitchen for the first time. Maybe it’s our new house in a new town. Maybe it’s our first college apartment. Maybe we’re newlyweds setting up a home together. Or maybe we’re none of those things and it’s just time to reorganize our existing kitchen. We want to set it up right, so that the kitchen works. When the mood to cook strikes, we find the pantry stocked. When we reach for a spatula, it’s exactly where it should be. A kitchen that’s efficient and hard-working and inviting. A kitchen that inspires us to cook! Doesn’t that sound lovely? I think so too. That’s why I’m delighted to be working with Wolf on their Reclaim The Kitchen initiative. They’ve done all the homework so would-be cooks don’t have to. They know the basic tools and ingredients to have on hand, the basic techniques to know, and they’ve got some no-brainer recipes to get you going. Everything necessary to help people get back to cooking in their kitchen. This post is about how to organize a kitchen for maximum efficiency. In other words: It’s great to have essential kitchen items, but how you keep and store them is just as important to having your best kitchen! Right? And to be extra-helpful, I’ve included the tips below in a handy cheat sheet you can print out and post on your fridge — or even iron on to your grocery tote! Let’s get right to the tips. …

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You’re hosting Thanksgiving. Maybe for the first time. You’re feeling a little overwhelmed (or a lot overwhelmed). It’s a big meal, and a holiday. And you don’t want to ruin anyone’s holiday. The good news is: You’re not going to ruin anyone’s holiday. They are so glad you are hosting and they can’t wait to see you. The other good news: You’ve got plenty of time to prepare. The bad news? Turns out there is no bad news! It’s going to be great. Here’s what you need to know: …

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By Gabrielle. When Jessica first reached out, she wasn’t even technically Living With Kids in her home. You see, Jessica and her family live in Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada, which is the oil capital of the country, and there was a massive wildfire in the early summer that displaced them all for a few weeks. Thankfully, despite a little smoke damage, their home is okay. But so many of their friends lost everything. To tell you that the entire experience has shed a new light on Jessica’s meaning of home is probably an understatement. Welcome, Jessica. I’m so happy to share you. Hi, everyone! I’m Jessica. I live with my small family in northern Alberta, Canada. My husband, Nate, works as a power engineer and is one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. He’s been known to wake me in the middle of the night just to tell me a fun fact. He’s also really sweet and loves us so much. I probably don’t deserve him. Our daughter, Isla, is a spunky little fifteen-month-old with a huge personality. When somebody asks me what she’s like, I usually laugh and talk about how funny she is. She has us cracking up every day. She also has a wicked temper. By the time she was one month old, we were well acquainted with her angry cry. I stay home to raise her and wouldn’t have it any other way. Nate and I grew up in the same small town on Canada’s east coast. We met in high school but never really connected until a couple of years later. By the time I graduated high school, our town’s only industry had shut down, forcing my father and hundreds of other workers to pack up and move west to find work. I continued university on the east coast, but when I graduated both Nate and I decided to move out here where I began a job, and he started his trade at the local college. And that’s how we ended up here, in Fort McMurray, Alberta. It is a remote community, set amidst Canada’s boreal forest and a four-and-a-half hour’s drive from the nearest major city. It’s small, but has a dense population. Our home backs onto the woods and when we lie in bed, on a good night, we can literally watch the northern lights dance outside our window. It’s a magical feeling. …

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By Gabrielle. Photo from Maude’s Instagram. Welcome to October’s installment of my random thoughts. Halloween is just a few days away, and then the holidays officially start. (So soon!) Feel free to share your own random thoughts in the comments. – On my weekend link list, I mentioned the Facebook Live video I did last Thursday. It was sort of a post like this — lots of random thoughts — but a spoken version. Me on my living room couch, chatting about all sorts of things. I’d like to make it a weekly thing, so I’ll be doing a second one tomorrow. You can watch LIVE starting at 11:00 AM PST. Spoiler: I know one thing I’ll be talking about is favorite things to buy in Japantown. And if you comment, I’ll try to respond on the video! – Our Halloween costumes are 75% done. Betty’s is complete — she’s being a pumpkin. June’s is complete — she’s being an angel. Olive’s has been ordered and should arrive today — she’s being Guy Fieri. Oscar’s is not even started. He wants to be a Rubik’s Cube. But we’ve done that one before, so I’ve got a good plan. I’ll gather supplies today and try to make it tomorrow. The first time he needs is is Saturday for our church Trunk-or-Treat. Something unusual for us: Ben Blair and I haven’t gone to a costume party in ages, but we have several invitations this year, and I’m realizing I may need to come up with costumes. Maybe I’ll go with something simple from this video I made. How about you? Do you dress up each year? Or is it enough trying to come up with costumes for your kids? – Maude has officially been in Paris for a month and a week. Gosh we miss her so much! But happily, we skype almost every day. During her free hours, she explores the city non-stop and it’s so fun to hear about her adventures, or see an instagram of a picnic she’s having on the banks of the Seine. This week, the family she is an au pair for is out of town. (French schools have a 2-week fall break.) So Maude has a break from work. Her cousin Lucy came to visit for the first week, and for the second week, she’s headed to Switzerland with her cousin Roxcy. She loves the family she works for and I can see her independence and confidence increase daily. When she gets back from her trip to Switzerland, it will be November, which means UC college applications are due! So we’ll be doing lots of back and forth to finish those up and make sure she’s marked it off her list. So many good things in her future! – Ralph also seems super happy. He arrived in Colombia yesterday and we got a quick note early this morning letting us know he was safe and happy. He’s been assigned a trainer — Elder Porras from Mexico —  and they have been asked to work in a small village about 4 hours from Bogota, called Barbosa. He says “Bogota is one of the coolest cities I’ve ever seen — mountains and bricks and rain.” It was just a quick note and we’re dying to hear more! What is Barbosa like? How is the weather? Has he tried anything yummy to eat? What is his apartment/house like? As you can imagine, we look forward to his weekly email like crazy. – The house definitely feels different without the older two kids. I find myself resisting getting used to it, and instead thinking of it as just a temporary change. It feels like so many less people! Which I know is strange because there are still 4 kids. But that’s how it feels. We had a lip sync contest the other day and it took me a minute to get used to the idea. Like, we’re still going to do these even though we’re missing people? Such a strange sensation! – Did I tell you we have a funny car situation happening? We’ve been a one car family for ages. We’ve driven a Honda Pilot since we moved here (our 3rd one — we’re fans!). But last spring, we looked into adding a second car for the two teenagers to share, and decided on a Fiat 500e. I think they may only be available in California. What I heard is that California required Fiat to offer an electric version in order to do business in the state, so they made one just for that purpose and they weren’t very excited about it. But it turns out customers love it! It’s fully electric, with no gas option. It can only go about 90 miles between charges, so it’s not a roadtrip car. But it’s perfect for errands. It’s cute and little and only seats 4 people. Well, our Honda lease ended as we left to France this summer, which means we came home to no car. So we bought the fiat 500e as planned, and figured we’d get a new family car too. But we haven’t actually bought a family car yet! We had decided on the new Metris beacuse it’s super similar to the VW Van we drove in France — sort-of industrial and the perfect roadtrip car for a big family. But then, the two older kids moved away and we weren’t sure we needed such a big car. And then we just started living life and haven’t ended up getting a second car at all. We’re still just using the little Fiat. Hah! The Fiat has been perfect for our daily errands. But we still need a car that will fit the 6 of us left at home — and something that we can use for long drives. So we need to buckle down and pick something already. Although the idea of just renting a big car as needed has also come up. This development is definitely nothing I would have predicted. – It’s not even cold here, but suddenly I’ve been making hot cocoa like it’s going out of style. I realized we had to go out for more milk twice this week because I’ve been drinking so much. Hah! I think it’s a sign that I’m ready for the holidays to get here. Though if I’m honest, I’m having such mixed feelings. This year has had so many emotional changes and I wake up longing to beg God to just hold time still for a minute and let me catch up (whatever that means). It’s like I can’t believe it’s really time to thinking about Thanksgiving, and I’m also looking forward to all the smells and scents and tastes and activities that come with November and December. How are you feeling? Is the year going too fast for you? Or are you excited November 1st is less than a week away? I think that’s it for now. Please feel free to respond to anything here, or bring up your own topic. I always love hearing what’s on your minds! P.S. — I post my random thoughts each month. You can find them all here.

By Gabrielle. Mandi’s loyalty shines so brightly through this entire interview. It’s honestly like a love letter to her husband…and Ohio. I have to mention, I’ve become a little obsessed with her state of late, especially after catching a few episodes of Cleveland Hustles. Have you seen it? It’s a concept reality television show by LeBron James that follows young entrepreneurs trying to create local jobs and a business model that can be replicated across the country. They’re paired with Cleveland businesses and mentors who’ve made it locally — and stayed. You see, everyone associated with the show share one major goal: they are all committed to bringing jobs and opportunity back to Ohio. It’s wonderful. I’ll let Mandi tell you her tale. It’ll fill you with emotion and might even make you look around and ask yourself what you can do for your own city. It had that effect on me. Welcome, Mandi! We are so happy you’re here. Hi there! I’m Mandi. I live with my husband Phil and our two daughters, Lucy (three) and Juniper (one). I’m trained in interior design and had planned to move to the big city — Chicago — to become a successful designer living in a cool loft in a fun neighborhood. Instead, during my college years I fell in love with the challenge of freelance life and investing my talents and friendships into bettering my local community in Northeast Ohio. Our area, known as the rust belt, has experienced an incredible loss over the past few decades with the exportation of manufacturing jobs, resulting in wounded and shrinking communities, increased crime, and plenty of brain drain. I resolved to stay because it was difficult, but also because it was easy. Our family all live here, and they’re such an integral part of our lives. Sometimes my brother and I dream about relocating all of my in-laws along with our own family to someplace warmer, but in general we have tremendous Ohio pride. I hesitate to say this, just because oh how I wish it didn’t matter, but ever since marrying during our poor college years, we’ve struggled quite a bit financially. Phil and I are very proud that we make every effort to create strict budgets, follow through, and save wisely, but there’s not much you can do with the salary of rural kindergarten teacher and a part-time blogger who works primarily for someone else’s blog. It’s something that I’ve always said didn’t bother me, and I’ve sworn I wouldn’t want my husband to stress or feel like doing something he didn’t enjoy just for us to have more material possessions. …

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Photos and text by Gabrielle. For those of you who have been asking, I’ve got a little report on Olive’s Etiquette Dinner party to share. There are 3 main things to tell you about: 1) The Meal As we planned the menu, we had a few considerations on our mind. First, we wanted something the guests would enjoy and really want to eat — so nothing too crazy, but we also wanted to include at least something that felt adventurous. Second, we knew we needed to have a vegetarian option. Third, we knew we wouldn’t have a ton of time to prep the food, and we don’t pretend to be gourmet chefs, so we also wanted something doable. We ended up with a fairly simple menu, but split it into 7 courses and made it sound really fancy by throwing in French vocabulary and lots of descriptors on the printed menu. …

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By Gabrielle. Diana is an exuberant writer, so it follows that her home displays the same joy. There are ever-growing enthusiastic collections she watches carefully just to be sure they don’t start resembling an episode of Hoarders, and nooks seemingly everywhere to welcome the world. “Ooh, what’s that?” I heard myself saying more than once while zooming in on a treasure-filled corner. She’s also a generous writer, so you’ll hear about prices and her struggles as a mom and her realistic shortcomings (which we all recognize as true talents!) that spurred her to lean more toward a shabby chic style of decor. I’ll let Diana explain it; she does so adorably! Come meet her. You’re going to want to be her friend. And I have a feeling she’ll want the same from you. Welcome, sweet Diana! (Just a quick note before I introduce myself…I was only recently shown this blog by a good friend of mine and was just blown away by all the inspiring stories and homes you moms have posted! It has been so fun reading and getting a glimpse into your lives, and I hope that I can offer some bit of inspiration in return!) So my name is Diana Clinger. I live in Idaho Falls with my husband Chris, our two cats, Pepe La Roux and Possum, and our wonderful daughter Addison, who is turning two at the end of this October! I met my husband Chris when I was 19 and a freshman at the University of Idaho in Moscow. UofI is where my parents first met and it is a truly beautiful campus of ivy-covered buildings and walkways that I know I took way too many artsy photos of while I was attending! I remember being so excited to go to the same college as my two older sisters and share an apartment with them. My parents had let me stay with my sisters during the summer months between my Junior and Senior year of high school, provided that I get a job, pull my own weight and stay out of trouble, and I absolutely couldn’t wait to join them. …

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By Gabrielle. Maureen Vazquez’s London home was a treasure. There was an entire floor-to-ceiling window full of taped-up kid creations, a doodle-able staircase Plexiglas barrier, and a giant craft table smack in the middle of the kitchen. All that plus space for scooter races? I’d surely never leave! But leave is exactly what the Vazquez family did! They traded in their 4,000 square feet for around 1,400 or so, and lost a few amenities in the process. Like the scooter racing space. And that craft table. Sigh. Do you think she misses them? (Spoiler alert: Not nearly as much as you might think! Hooray!) I’ll let Maureen tell you all about their adventures since the last time we toured their gorgeous home while we peek into their latest gorgeous home. She’s a fantastic tour guide, you know. Welcome, Maureen! Whenever people find out that my nickname is Mo, they go right for it, so we’ll cut the formality here; you guys can call me Mo. I live with my husband Nathan (not Nate) and our kids Atticus, Eleanor, Ike, and Indiana. I grew up mostly in Seattle as the youngest of four kids. I’ve always loved making things, having good conversation over a leisurely dinner, and I tend to be very right-brained when it comes to most things. Nathan grew up in the backwoods of Neillsville, Wisconsin as an only child. He is an avid fantasy and sci-fi reader, a computer geek in the most loving sense of the word, and has an incredible design eye. He is totally unflappable and super goofy. He’s also a great dancer, which is what made me look way back when. We met at my brother’s wedding right after I graduated from college and had an amazing connection right away, but we lived in different states and I had a boyfriend. Nathan was 25 — which seemed so OLD! Ha! — and I had grand plans to grow into adulthood before settling down. We lost touch, and I spent the next four years in San Francisco. Eventually, I heard through the grapevine that Nathan was moving from Minneapolis to London for work. I freaked out, realizing that I’d always hoped we’d have the chance at a relationship, and was afraid I’d screwed it up. I got back in touch and, long story short, we were married and both living in London soon after! A few years later, Atticus arrived. Atticus is amazingly thoughtful and deliberate like his dad. He’s super into Legos and can spend hours building and rebuilding things according to the instructions. He’s a wonderful big brother, and sometimes I think that he could raise himself without too much trouble if aliens abducted the rest of us. I’ve found that having kids is pretty addictive in the sense that each time you expect him or her to be like a previous kid, and each time you end up with someone who’s totally different. Eleanor is quick, fiery, and extremely socially precocious and sensitive. She has eagle ears and regularly infers the circumstances and emotions of people on the other end of my phone just by overhearing my side of the conversation. She is unbelievably creative and always making something. Ike is universally loved by all creatures on earth. Kids love him, adults love him, and animals love him. And he loves them back. He wakes up smiley every morning and smiles in his sleep as I take him to the bathroom before I go to bed. His catchphrase is “Will you be my best friend?” to which everyone eagerly responds “YES!” Indiana is hyper coordinated which is good because she’s a total monkey. She was still kicking me in the ribs as she was crowning during her delivery and she hasn’t stopped moving since. She is happy-go-lucky and always in the middle of the action. We are all desperate for her to start talking and like to guess what she’ll say! We moved from London to San Luis Obispo (SLO), California a year ago after Nathan’s project at work was shut down. We had moved to London from NYC with his company the previous year, and were faced with the prospect of moving back to Manhattan where he would find another trading position with the bank. At the time, Indiana was four months old and I had recently launched Pipsticks, a subscription sticker club. It was doing really well but I was exhausted, and the idea of finding socks for six people every day literally put me over the edge. Having gone to Cal Poly, I had always thought SLO would be a great place to end up. It was also a place where socks and shoes are optional. So, we took a massive leap of faith and moved to California where Nathan joined me working for Pipsticks! It’s. So. Different. When we moved here, I hadn’t owned a car in 15 years. In an attempt to offset the minivan life, we moved a few blocks from town so that we could walk as much as possible. The neighborhoods in downtown SLO are lovely. The houses are all built on long narrow lots so they look like little cottages in a line from the street. Most houses around us were built in the early 1900s. Compared to NYC and London, things are more affordable, but it’s still a very expensive place to live. A 1200 square foot, two bedroom house in town starts around $700,000. What struck us when we first moved here are how many fruit trees there are! They are everywhere, and just blend right into the city’s landscape. We’ll be walking to the park and look up to see a massive avocado tree above the sidewalk. One of my favorite things to do is pick the Asian pears from our yard and walk around delivering them to our neighbors. We inevitably return home with oranges, lemons, avocados, and apples. Free avocados? It’s a dream. …

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By Gabrielle. Photos by Jodi Hays and Alana Rasbach. Jodi described her family and home to me in the most endearing way: very full, very imperfect, but shines bright. Her family’s motto is equally winsome. You’ll see. This is a tour for those of us who routinely surprise our families with entirely new floor plan configurations on a whim. If you hear your mate and kids ever utter phrases like “Good morning! Where did the dining room go?” and “Oof! Who put this table here?” then raise your hands in victory! Jodi grew up like that, too, and the experience still warms her heart. So rearrange away! Let’s hear more from Jodi, shall we? Hi everyone! I am a painter, professor, and curator in East Nashville, Tennessee. Felix is my husband of 18 years, co-conspirator for life, parties, and art Pop-Ups. Gus Wonder is our first born, six years old. He is his name: kind, driven and super into math. Eames Ever is four years old. He is an old soul who loves animals and collecting. Cleopatra Wise is one, and the most contented (and possibly spoiled) little tres. I am the youngest of three, so I understand my mom and myself so much more for having had her. Lefty is the 17-year old studio cat. We got him when we lived in Boston and he is a polydactyl, Hemingway cat. He has been known to convince house-sitters that he lives inside. …

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By Gabrielle. Vintage football poster here. Last week, an article about football injuries showed up in my Facebook timeline. It was from last year and it talks about how 96% of former NFL players in the study, show signs of brain damage. 96%. That is insane. So far, I haven’t had a child with any interest in playing football, so it hasn’t been something I’ve had to think about from that perspective. But I do find myself with mixed feelings about football in general. I have very happy memories of attending high school football games, and seeing the community come together in support. I have even better memories of attending college football games with my dad who was a huge fan, always hanging a team flag outside our front door on game days. I love the cheers and the enthusiasm and the fall sweaters and the face paint. The whole thing feels very All-American and since I grew up with it, it’s also familiar and cozy. Of course, I also have many dear friends who have kids playing on football teams right this minute, and I love seeing the photos in my social streams. On the other hand, I realized the other day that I don’t watch professional football at all, and haven’t in years — even if I attend a Superbowl party, I’m not likely to watch any of the game. I can’t seem to support the NFL as an organization. And it’s pretty impossible for me to get over the fact that as I watch a game, the players involved are literally sustaining injuries that will affect them (and their families) throughout their lives. Their injuries should not be my entertainment. Obviously, injuries happen in every sport, but with football it feels different to me, because of the frequency, type and severity of the injuries. It makes me wonder what I would do if my kids wanted to play. Would I let them? Maybe through middle school? Or through high school? As for college, I find myself supportive of intramural sports, but anything that is monetized at the college level can stress me out if I think about it — it’s not okay that universities are making huge dollar signs off of kids who aren’t compensated beyond tuition and housing, could likely sustain life-long injuries, and are prevented from being serious students because of the time commitment of the sport. But I suppose that’s a whole other topic. : ) What’s your take? Is there any sport — football or otherwise — you wouldn’t let your kids play? Do you (like me) have mixed feelings about football? Or do your feelings change depending on the age range? NFL versus college versus high school? Do you live in a town where football is a big deal? If your kids play, have you seen the coaches make any changes that prevent injuries? I’d love to hear!

By Gabrielle. Photos by Katrina Davis. It was a Friday, and Ralph was leaving us for two years the next Tuesday. Ben Blair and I were running errands and I had a pang of regret: I wish we could get a family photo shot before he leaves. I wish we had a little more time! And then I thought, maybe we still can. I studied the calendar and found a 2-hour window open the following morning, then I texted Katrina Davis, a local photographer I’ve worked with before, to see if by chance she was available. She was! I started to get my hopes up, thinking we might really be able to make this happen! For location, I knew exactly where I wanted to go — a public park on the Bay with the iconic Oakland Cranes in the background. Date? Check. Time? Check. Location? Check. Photographer? Check. It was all coming together so quickly. Hooray! I texted the teens to keep their morning open, told myself we’d figure out what to wear that night, and went about my day. Outfits came together quickly that night, the photo shoot went smoothly in the morning, and the I didn’t think about it again. Until a few days ago when Katrina sent us the photos. They are such a treasure to me! I love how they turned out, and I love the very Oakland location, and I’m so happy we captured this moment in our family before everything changed. It was a particularly crazy weekend, and even after we sorted out the details of the shoot, I kept second-guessing myself and wondering if it was too hard to it in, wondering if we should cancel. I’m so glad we didn’t. It was worth it one hundred percent.

By Gabrielle. There’s just something so happy about homes-away-from-home. Maybe it’s that they’re used primarily for getaways, so families arrive already excited and optimistic. Or maybe it’s because vacation homes usually aren’t overflowing with the day-to-day equipment and accessories that get us through an average week; instead, there might be a shed full of surfboards, a trunk full of floaties, and a fridge just waiting to be filled with barbecue fixings! Oh, that does sound enticing. So when Shauna asked whether I’d like to see her family’s home or their getaway, I chose getaway! And I sure liked what she had to say about her Naples cottage. Welcome, Shauna! Hello! Welcome to our family of five! I’m a girl in the midst of all boys. I think that God was preparing me for boys as I was growing up, spending my summer days hanging out with my older brother and his friends. We were quite adventurous scaling the sides of cliffs, hiking, swimming in canals, and shooting BB guns. I guess that makes me equipped for boys of my own now! My husband and I met in college and have been married almost 19 years. Turns out he’s quite the handy guy and can build or help out with any and most of my ongoing, never ending design projects. I got so lucky with him! Our three boys complete our world and we feel so incredibly blessed to be their parents. Austin is our oldest and is a senior in high school. How is it that I have a man-child that old already? He is so wise and has made parenting a teenager actually quite easy. Ethan is our middle child and is a freshman in high school. He takes after his dad in that he can build anything and he has already helped out in some of my big design projects, including helping build our bar in our Colorado home. I keep telling him that I need to hire him to be my personal assistant. Of course he asks, “How much will you pay me, Mom?” Is there no such thing as free help these days? Dylan is our baby and just started middle school. Okay, now I officially feel old since I no longer have any kids in elementary school. Those were such fun days for us! He has a heart of gold and greets us every morning with big hugs. I look forward to those. …

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Photo and text by Gabrielle. Welcome to September’s installment of my random thoughts. I can’t believe we’re in the last week of September already! This month has been a life changer for sure. Feel free to share your own random thoughts in the comments. – So we only have four kids at home now. But you may remember, we’ve actually had a four-kids experience during the fall of 2014, when Ralph and Olive went to France for a semester. But this definitely feels different. Because of the ages and stages of our two oldest, this feels so much more permanent. Like Ralph and Maude may not ever really move back. Just a summer break here or there. Or coming home between projects. Still hard for me to wrap my head around. – Now that Olive is the oldest one at home, one of the first changes I noticed is that the music has changed. With Ralph and Maude no longer adding their playlists to the mix, pretty much all we hear lately is Hamilton. Hah! Olive happens to be obsessed with Hamilton at the moment. Are you familiar with it? It’s the latest, greatest, impossible-to-get-tickets-to Broadway show. This has been a reminder of how much my kids influence what I listen to. Is that true at your house? Do you like the music your kids like? – Another change: the kids are already talking about switching up rooms. Oscar Betty & June are thinking about rooming together, which means Olive would have a chance to have her own room. It’s fun to think about how we can revamp the bedrooms — especially because we wouldn’t need to move walls or update electricity this time around — it would just be decor, which is much more enjoyable for me. But I told them we need to wait until we know for sure if Maude is heading back in January. – This weekend, I took advantage of the Elfa sale going on at the Container Store and ordered shelves and drawers and hanging rods for the new Master Bedroom closet. I did a bunch of research on closet organizers and the consensus was that Elfa was the way to go. Have you ever used it or tried it? This is my first time. Our supplies get delivered this week and I’m crossing my fingers that the install will happen this weekend. So excited to have a closet again! (Which reminds me, I need to give more updates on the construction! We’re nearing the end.) – Related to my current lack of closet, I’ve ended up accidentally having a capsule wardrobe for the last 3 months. When I packed up for our summer in France, I stored everything else because of the construction. But I’ve been home for a month and I’m still using only what I packed for the summer — because everything else is still inconveniently stored. It’s been interesting to have limited choices and makes me curious about keeping a minimal wardrobe. But one thing I’ve noticed is that my clothes are experiencing much more wear and tear than they normally would. After 3 months, many pieces need to be replaced. Have any of you tried a capsule collection? Is it normal to have to replace items quarterly? – I didn’t mention it at the time because I was totally pre-occupied with other things, but a few days before Ralph left on his mission, we took the family to Disneyland for a couple of days. Many years ago, when there were only 5 kids and we lived in New York, we took them to Disneyworld once. (The younger ones don’t remember that trip at all, and the older ones only have a few memories.) And once, a couple of years ago, Maude and Olive got to go to Disneyland for their cousin’s birthday. But we’ve never taken the whole family to Disneyland before. This is surprising to me because a) we live in California, and b) Disneyland played an influential role in my childhood. I love it there and went many, many times as a kid. And I assumed I would take my family many times as well. But somehow we haven’t. It was a short trip during a busy time, but I really wanted to fit it in. I think I was trying to give my older kids one last “childhood experience”. And I also wanted to make sure the younger kids had Disneyland memories that included the older kids. I’m so glad we went! It was as wonderful as I remembered. Actually better even, because I had never been to the California Adventure park. As a bonus, we were there on a really good week. We went the Tuesday and Wednesday after after Labor Day and the park was (relatively) empty. – A little hair update: I’ve decided to try going gray. I’ve had 2 haircuts since we arrived home and didn’t color my hair at either one. My stylist think the gray will be completely trimmed off in maybe 2 more haircuts (that’s about 2 months). I’m curious to see how it will look. I know I might hate it, and bring back the dye. But who knows? I’m also very curious to try a high-quality wig. I think I would like the option of switching my hairstyle in an instant. I’ve been doing some research and it turns out wigs are a whole world I know nothing about. Have you ever worn one? Not as a costume, but as everyday hair? – Last Tuesday, Oscar played the trumpet with this school band at the Oakland A’s game. They played the National Anthem to open the game. Many of the kids have been following the NFL protests and felt conflicted about this performance, so during the last line of the song about 75 or 80% of the band members — including Oscar — took a knee in protest while they continued to play. The crowd gave a big cheer and it was covered in our local news. (I saw on Facebook today that it’s now going viral.) – In other Oscar news, he was just cast as Tiny Tim in the musical Scrooge! He’s very excited. It’s happening on a big stage in a huge auditorium and he has a solo song. He is so into it! He’s had a realization that his small size is an advantage in this instance. He has the confidence and experience of an older kid, but looks like a younger kid. (As we get closer, I’ll announce dates of the play for any locals you might want to attend. Tickets are free!) I think that’s it for now. Please feel free to respond to anything here, or bring up your own topic. I always love hearing what’s on your minds! P.S. — I post my random thoughts each month. You can find them all here.

By Gabrielle. Can we talk high school dances for a minute? Apparently, they are disappearing. Or have already disappeared when I wasn’t looking. I grew-up in a town, St. George, Utah, that had a whole lot of dances. There were big school dances almost every month, with titles like Homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, Senior Ball, Preference, Junior Prom, and it seems like a couple of others that I’m not remembering. These were not dances that you went stag to. They were date dances. Two were specifically girls-choice (Sadie Hawkins and Preference), and though it wasn’t stated, the rest were assumed to be boys-choice. For each of those dances there was usually a royalty — Prom King & Queen, Most Preferred, etc. — nominated and voted on by the student body. Tickets to these dances were bought ahead of time and the events were usually held off-site in a heavily decorated space (though once in awhile they were held in a heavily decorated school gym). There was always a portrait photographer at these big dances (ours was my friend Jill’s mom, Jackie Andrus), and it was traditional to get a photo with your date, plus a photo of your group (if you went with a group of couples). In fact, I have a whole high-school photo album that is nothing but photos from these dances. These big dances were also usually accompanied by big invitations. Something clever or funny, or something that made a big statement. You couldn’t just ask someone to the dance, there pressure to make a big deal of it. The dress code for the boys-choice dances was formal (that’s a lot of fancy dresses or tux rentals required in one year!). Preference was semi-formal, and Sadies was matching shirts. But those were just one category of dances. A more frequent category was Friday Night Dances. They weren’t really called that, they were just called dances. (As in, “Should we go to the dance after the game on Friday?”) And they didn’t require a date. You could definitely show up solo, though it was most common to show up with a group of friends. These dances were held in the school gym, and there was a DJ (ours was named Paul Hancock, and the song he played to test the speakers before the dance was “Boys Don’t Cry” by the Cure). Sometimes they were held following a school football game or basketball game, and sometimes they were just because. In my memory they happened a couple of times a month, though that seems like a lot, so maybe I’m remembering wrong. To enter the dance it was like $2 at the door; you didn’t need tickets ahead of time. There was no photographer, no decorations. The dress code was casual — mostly kids just wore school clothes. The whole thing was very simple, and I much preferred these regular dances to the big ones — I never loved the stress of wondering if I would have a date, or having to ask one. A third category of dances in my hometown were church dances. They were rare — maybe quarterly — and were basically the same format as a casual Friday night dance. But they were free, and the DJ had to be more careful about what he played. There was always a big one in the summer and a big one on New Year’s Eve, but otherwise, I don’t remember church dances much at all. Ben Blair’s high school was similar. He grew up about 4 hours from me in Provo, Utah and says he had a similar calendar of big dances and more casual ones. He says his high school called the Friday night dances Stomps. Here in Oakland, from what I can tell my kids’ high school holds only two dances. Homecoming in the fall and Prom in the spring. Both are formal affairs. Both require tickets ahead of time. Asking a date is common, but you can also show up with friends. There are no casual Friday night dances. The school doesn’t host anything like that. And I assumed that was just how it was done here. But then, a couple of weeks ago, my dear friend Robyn was in town. She still lives in St. George, and she was here visiting with her teens and they started talking about school dances. Turns out at her kids’ high school, they still have the big monthly dances — with dates and fancy dresses and decorations and photos and clever invitations. But they don’t have Friday night dances anymore. At all. I was so surprised! No casual dances? Where did they go? What happened? When did they fade away? Were dances an 80’s/90’s thing? Or was it just my town? So now I’m wondering, is this true everywhere? Are casual Friday night dances a thing of the past? And what about big prom-type dances — how often does the high school in your town host a big dance? I always felt like monthly was too much, but maybe it’s common in other places too. What was the dance scene like for you when you were in high school? I’m so curious. I can’t wait to read your responses! P.S. — Maybe I’ll go track down my Dance Photo Album and see if there’s a good pic to add to the post. : ) P.P.S. — When I was growing up, our town had two high schools, and both had similar dance calendars. If there wasn’t a Friday night dance at our school, we knew there was probably one at the other high school across town, and it wasn’t unusual to go to dances at both schools. P.P.S. — Pretty in Pink turns 30 this week. Remember the homemade prom dress? Did you love it or hate it? (I loved it!)

By Gabrielle. Photos by Ashleigh of Red Aspen Photography. Natalie lives in Portland, Oregon — she happily admits she moved there after it was cool, which reminds me of a friend who lives in Texas who always says, “I wasn’t born a Texan, but I got here as soon as I could!” — with her husband and their four children. Debt-free. No mortgage, even. I had to hear more! She is an absolute delight to read, and I truly found myself nodding vigorously as she extolled the virtues of a debt-free life. It sounds so appealing!  Come see. Welcome, Natalie! Hi, everyone! We are a family of six. Comprised of a ballerina-rope-climber, robot-building-racecar-driver, gymnast-collector-of-interesting-things, a magician-filmmaker, HGTV Property Baron Personality, and a one-year old baby. Yes, I’m embellishing, but hyperbole aside, we are a family with diverse interests that celebrates individuality. Zach’s 9-to-5 is at Portland’s own Columbia Sportswear. He is the best magician inexpensive gimmicks from Amazon can buy. His magician alter-ego, The Great Shahrivar, shows up for all our kids’ birthdays. His interests are as long as his attention span is short, including: podcasting, novel writing, songwriting, blogging, filmmaking, and a solid foray into a t-shirt business — that is to say he adheres to the long lost art of working to live rather than living to work! I’m Natalie, a realtor licensed in both Oregon and Washington State. I daydream more than anyone I know – too bad I can’t get paid to dream! I am always coming up with new plans, ideas, and house renovations. My latest dreams have led Zach and I to start a new project making our own show on YouTube. We’re hoping to show what it’s really like to buy properties while at the same time dispelling myths and giving advice on how to make a good investment. I love real estate and personal finance, and Zach loves making stuff, so with our powers combined we hope to make some entertaining stuff and have fun in the process. …

Living With Kids: Natalie OlsenRead More »

By Gabrielle. I just got back from the San Francisco Airport. That’s twice in one week I’ve been a teary mess leaving that place. It’s possible I might be out of tears at this point — I told Ben Blair that everyone who is at home needs to hold still for a second while I catch my breath. As promised, I wanted to tell you more about Maude’s opportunity and how she ended up flying to Paris today. The whole thing happened very quickly (holy cow so fast!) and I’m still wrapping my head around it. Because Maude LOVES her high school. The high school itself, and the experiences she’s had there. Maude has excellent grades. She’s active in student leadership. She’s been the captain of the Cross Country Team, and the Track team. She has an amazing group of friends that I adore. She loves school. And I wouldn’t have predicted this change of events for her. But this summer, she went on a pilgrimage, and it really seemed to get her thinking about a different trajectory for her life. She started bringing up the idea of trying an international experience instead of returning to high school for her senior year. At first, I wasn’t sure she was serious about not returning, because like I said, she loves high school. But she was persistent about bringing it up. As she looked to her senior year, she craved a new challenge. She knew if she returned to high school, she would make the most of it, and jump in with both feet, and take a challenging course load, and be super involved. But she had already done that. All of that. She had accomplished those things. She had been successful at those things. And she didn’t feel like there were many new challenges waiting for her. I would ask her what about Prom? What about senior year traditions? She wasn’t worried about missing them. She said, “I’ve been to Mormon Prom. That’s plenty of prom for me. If I’m in Oakland, of course, I’ll want to go. But Prom isn’t worth more to me than trying something new.” There were a lot of really good and interesting people on the pilgrimage and hearing their stories, I think she started to think about her life in the third person, like she was observing her life. How did she want to describe herself. What experiences did she want to have that she could tell people about? She kept bringing up the idea of an international adventure, and eventually we said, well, if you’re serious about this, there are a lot of things to work out. The biggest two: 1) What would you need to do to graduate? And 2) Where would you go, and for how long?We told her to start with those two, and if we can figure them out, we’ll take this seriously. But until then, we’re just considering it a fun idea. …

Maude in Paris!Read More »

By Gabrielle. Image by Kristen Loken for Design Mom. I’m working on a companion piece to yesterday’s post about missions. But my emotions are still quite raw and I need to pause for a minute on it. So instead, today I have a different topic I want to talk about. It’s music. My big questions are: Do you read music? Can you sing parts (soprano, alto, tenor, bass)? Did you ever take music lessons? Do you play an instrument? I guess I’m curious about how common it is. I grew up doing all of these things. I took piano lessons for many years. I sang alto in advanced choir in both middle and high school. I sang weekly at church — as a congregation and in small groups. And of course, there was the recorder in sixth grade. As a kid, none of this was unusual. It seemed like most people around me were having similar experiences. As an adult, I can read music, but only sort-of. Meaning I can easily find the notes on the piano that are on the page of music, but I can’t sit down and sight read a new piece. It would take many, many hours of practice to play a new piece — not even a particularly difficult one. And I rarely play at all — maybe once a year I’ll sit at the piano and play something. Honestly, I don’t seem to miss it or crave it. I don’t think it was ever particularly important to me to be able to play piano. It was just something I was signed up for as a kid. Singing is the same. I still sing with the congregation at church, but I have no desire to join the church choir. I’ll sing with the radio or if the kids turn on something while we do the dishes. But that’s about it. I don’t consider myself a voice performer in any way, and don’t value that for myself. And parts? I can only sing a harmony if I have learned and memorized it ahead of time. I definitely can’t pick out a harmony on my own, or in the middle of a song. In fact, I can’t sing a harmony by looking at notes on the page — I can play a middle C, but I can’t sing one unless I hear it played first. Does that make sense? That said, I loved when my siblings would sit around with guitars, or whatever instruments we had on hand, and have a jam session. I love when my kids do the same thing. And I love listening to music. I feel like I value music very much, even if I don’t care to be the one who performs it. In contrast to me, there’s Ben Blair. He took far fewer lessons than I did, but enjoys singing and playing music (guitar, mandolin, piano, and everything else we have in the house) far more than I do. What about you? What sort of role did music play a role in your childhood? And what role does it play now as an adult? For those of you who like to perform (either sing or play), do you have opportunities to do so? Did you ever get the chance to learn how to read music? And did you have formal lessons, or are you someone who is naturally musical and can play by ear, or sing a harmony the first time you hear a song? P.S. — As a parent, I for sure value music for my kids. Each one of them has lots of experience with music lessons and performing with bands and choirs and during recitals. I know music helps with brain development, and I love the skills they learn from lessons — things like how to perform, how to do your part within a group, how to be disciplined and practice. But sometimes I lose sight of what the goal is. Or wonder if there’s a goal at all. How long should they take lessons? And what skill level should we be aiming for? Is the idea a music profession of some sort? Or just the ability to engage in and enjoy music throughout their life? I have no idea. Hah!