Living With Kids: Mandi Johnson

By Gabrielle.

Mandi’s loyalty shines so brightly through this entire interview. It’s honestly like a love letter to her husband…and Ohio.

I have to mention, I’ve become a little obsessed with her state of late, especially after catching a few episodes of Cleveland Hustles. Have you seen it? It’s a concept reality television show by LeBron James that follows young entrepreneurs trying to create local jobs and a business model that can be replicated across the country. They’re paired with Cleveland businesses and mentors who’ve made it locally — and stayed. You see, everyone associated with the show share one major goal: they are all committed to bringing jobs and opportunity back to Ohio. It’s wonderful.

I’ll let Mandi tell you her tale. It’ll fill you with emotion and might even make you look around and ask yourself what you can do for your own city. It had that effect on me.

Welcome, Mandi! We are so happy you’re here.

Hi there! I’m Mandi. I live with my husband Phil and our two daughters, Lucy (three) and Juniper (one).

I’m trained in interior design and had planned to move to the big city — Chicago — to become a successful designer living in a cool loft in a fun neighborhood. Instead, during my college years I fell in love with the challenge of freelance life and investing my talents and friendships into bettering my local community in Northeast Ohio.

Our area, known as the rust belt, has experienced an incredible loss over the past few decades with the exportation of manufacturing jobs, resulting in wounded and shrinking communities, increased crime, and plenty of brain drain. I resolved to stay because it was difficult, but also because it was easy. Our family all live here, and they’re such an integral part of our lives. Sometimes my brother and I dream about relocating all of my in-laws along with our own family to someplace warmer, but in general we have tremendous Ohio pride.

I hesitate to say this, just because oh how I wish it didn’t matter, but ever since marrying during our poor college years, we’ve struggled quite a bit financially. Phil and I are very proud that we make every effort to create strict budgets, follow through, and save wisely, but there’s not much you can do with the salary of rural kindergarten teacher and a part-time blogger who works primarily for someone else’s blog. It’s something that I’ve always said didn’t bother me, and I’ve sworn I wouldn’t want my husband to stress or feel like doing something he didn’t enjoy just for us to have more material possessions.

I myself have worked odd jobs just so I can continue doing what I enjoy, and also spend as much time as possible with our kids. It’s a choice we’d made, and I wanted him to know that if we were poor for the rest of our lives, I’d be happy with it.

I guess he wasn’t as happy, though. Content, perhaps, but eager to do more and experience more. So he recently made a career change and is now working in sales, which will certainly give us a different lifestyle someday, but for now we’re keeping to our old budget and banking everything else so that in a few years we can put my interior design training to work and build a home that we’ve designed and dreamed for together!

Looking forward to a better home is something I’ve struggled with since before we were married. It’s what made me interested in interior design from the beginning, I suppose. You know, the desire to improve the space around you. But I found myself obsessing over when we would have enough saved to get a new house, when we could finally put drapes up on the windows, and when we’d be able to do something about our drab kitchen. I mean, we couldn’t even afford paint for the kitchen, because we were literally putting every extra dollar into an envelope to save up for an Ikea sofa! As much as I tried to tell myself to snap out of it and just enjoy this space we had now, our time together, and blah, blah, blah… my mind wouldn’t let me.

Until I was diagnosed with cancer. Then everything changed.

Not that I would ever want anyone else to go through what my family went through, but I have to say, if I had the chance to go back in time and prevent my cancer (a rare type from a malignant paraganglioma tumor), I definitely wouldn’t. The experience taught me so much about how foolish and trivial furnishings and fabrics are when faced with a limited amount of time on earth. I shifted all of my energy into relationships and spiritual matters. I looked towards eternity in Heaven, rather than wasting away a few lame years waiting for a West Elm sectional while bemoaning my prefab sofa.

I did recover from cancer, but I had a very difficult time adjusting back to normal life again afterwards. I wrote a few blog posts about it if you care to read about it in more detail. But how could I go back to caring about throw pillows and shag rugs after being given a second change at actual LIFE?

With the help of some spiritual mentors, I’ve been able to understand how these seemingly trivial passions of mine — design, fashion, photography — add so much joy to my life and enhance the few years I’ve been given on earth. They’re fun. They’re exciting. But the way our home looks is not the most important part of our home.

I live in Canton, Ohio, where I was born, and very close to where I attended college at the University of Akron. We live in a unique area with three close cousin cities — Cleveland, Akron, and Canton — that we usually just refer to as Northeast Ohio. It’s unique because there is a great mix of landscapes and communities, and each city is reawakening with city revitalization projects happening in the wake of the rust belt decline.

Lake Eerie is our version of a coastline, Portage County gives us rocky terrain and caves, and Canton is surrounded on the south and west by Amish country. We also have a good mix of rural, suburban, and urban places everywhere in between. Each individual city has its own mix of recent and well rooted immigrant communities, so I like to think of our area as being pretty open and understanding of people from all walks of life.

They say “As Ohio goes, so goes the nation” in terms of politics, so it’s exciting knowing how much my community can impact the future of our nation. In general, if you get plugged into local communities — even slightly — in Northeast Ohio, you will find an energy and vision that I believe to be unmatched in the rest of our country. As Lebron James says, “In Northeast Ohio, nothing is given. Everything is earned.” We pride ourselves in that work ethic and just wish the rest of the country could see how much has happened and changed thanks to the hard work of those who’ve stayed here and care about our region’s future.

As far as my actual home goes, Phil and I have basically run the gamut of living spaces, as far as Canton, Ohio is concerned. Nine years ago we began our marriage in a suburban basement apartment, but moved into my brother’s gutted 1920s bungalow to help him renovate and pay his mortgage. That was a really fun two year stretch that people thought we were crazy for undergoing. Some people would mention how perfect our living arrangement would be for the premise of a sitcom, and I would chuckle and agree! My brother is still very close with Phil and I, though we don’t have to share a tiny bathroom any more.

After the bungalow years, we moved into the most gorgeous 1920s Tudor apartment with towering, gothic arched ceilings and unbelievable charm. Because Canton is such an inexpensive place to live, this dream apartment was an incredible living experience we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy if we had actually moved to the big city as I had originally planned. I didn’t think we could ever leave that place, knowing I wouldn’t be able to find such a magnetic design within our price range, but just two years later, I found myself pregnant for the first time and eager to make a financially wise decision to buy a small mid century ranch with a meager amount of character but a fantastically low mortgage payment.

As I mentioned earlier, we’re very excited about the prospect of building in the next few years, but in the meantime we’ve been trying to make a few changes here and there that will make us appreciate our current home a bit more before we leave.

We only toured three homes in our buyers’ market region when we were looking four years ago. When I saw the brick wall core of the home and the openness of the kitchen and dining area, I knew we wouldn’t find anything with such a good starting point for such an amazing deal. I don’t mind sharing that our home was under 90K, and is around 1500 square feet. We have no basement and no stairs in our home, which is certainly unusual for Ohio, but very convenient for keeping track of tiny humans. Although just today my three-year-old asked me, “When are we going to live in a home with stairs in it?” I have to admit, a little separation would be nice at nap time!

If I wake up early in the morning, the sound from our kitchen carries across the terrazzo floors into the children’s room alerting them that Mommy finally has some alone time, which should probably end immediately.

Thankfully Phil doesn’t have much of an opinion when it comes to interior design, but he really appreciates everything I do to make our home look nicer and work more efficiently. He verbally affirms what I’ve done with our space since we’ve moved in, and I really appreciate that. He also is always willing to help with projects, even though he never seems to grasp my vision. I asked him to find a few friends to come over and rip the cabinets off the wall and he didn’t even question me once!

The biggest challenge has to be the fact that we have two small children and only one living room. We have no basement, no den…. nothin’ but our one living room that also serves as our office and playroom.

We do have three bedrooms, but opted to give each girl their own bedroom, because they both prefer to play together in the main family area of the house, rather than alone in their rooms. I don’t blame them. I’ve been happier since having my office in the family room too, so I can be with them all while I work. But I’m not so good at tidying up my desk area, and neither is Phil. That’s one of the issues we plan on addressing to make our living environment more enjoyable.

I do allow a generous amount of toys in our home, but make sure that each toy has a storage spot, or else something’s gotta give…or should I say, be given away! I recently made a storage cabinet to house toys behind our sofa, which also created a great little surface for the kids to play, and for us to use as a sofa table when hosting gatherings. It’s nice to have all of the toys so easily accessible, but also out of sight, as this is the first view when entering the room.

Lucy and Juniper’s play kitchen is also prominently displayed on our fireplace wall, so I definitely made a point to find cute looking pieces at garage sales and antique shops so I wouldn’t mind staring at them all of the time.

I used to do 10 DIY projects a month for A Beautiful Mess, and looking back, that is utter insanity and I don’t know how I kept up! I was very stressed out, malnourished, and not well rested. My projects were beginning to lack quality and half my ideas weren’t so great. You could definitely say I was burnt out.

I decided to step back a little when I experienced a very difficult second pregnancy, and haven’t gotten back to my previous rate of productivity and probably never will. Not because I’m incapable, but because I’ve decided other things are more important to me. I have been given different types of opportunities in lieu of DIY projects, such as developing filters for the A Color Story app, working on some behind-the-scenes design projects, and photography gigs here and there.

But in general I lay low these days and enjoy Instagramming more than planning projects and editorial calendars, or managing sponsor contracts. I do go through waves of being very motivated in terms of projects and blogging, and then the wave will subside and I will focus on keeping my home in order, including being present as a parent, a wife, a daughter, and a friend.

The worst part of DIY blogging is finding the space to do it in my small home! I’ve commandeered my dining room for months at a time, and my family is very, very patient with me. During those stretches of time, we make an effort to have the rest of the home neat and tidy at all times. I definitely have a massive amount of craft supplies in my home, and a bit of a wood shop in my garage. I will never purge my supply stash, which is inconveniently stored in several places around my home, because I believe having access to materials when inspiration strikes is so invaluable!

I have quite a few hobbies, and most of them involve crafting or woodworking. Occasionally I become obsessed with a particular project and find myself holed away at home with everything I need to indulge my crafty whims for months at a time. Obviously I leave the house during that time, but I’ll stay up till the morning fiddling with miniatures, or go blind staring at the computer screen as I design something that I may or may not end up building.

Sharing parts of my home on social media can go one of two ways, and frequently goes both of these ways at different moments in time, if that makes sense. Sometimes sharing so much of my home makes me overly critical of it, especially when engaging with others on social media who have what I perceive to be better homes than mine, or “goal homes,” if you will.

But other times I find myself going through a period of time where I’ve been bogged down with the ins and outs of life and haven’t given two hoots about my home for quite some time. Rather than this being a welcome respite from the hazards of materialism, I find that subconsciously I begin to feel stressed at the lack of order in my home and lack of mental rest that comes from my being in a home that is well designed and neatly maintained. So being a part of this aesthetics-conscious part of the internet world is a great way to glean inspiration for my home which results in my creating a space that we all enjoy more with a little thoughtfulness.

As with most things in life, it’s all about balance. In this case, a balance of inspiration, practicality, and contentedness.

We’ve very fortunate to live close to most of our family, and not just because of the convenience of childcare. Phil and I are very close with both his family and mine, and we’re also very close with our Canton church family. I have set days where my mother and in-laws will watch my two girls during the day — my mom on Wednesdays, and my in-laws on Friday — because they have flexible work schedules and love having that guaranteed time with my precious angel children.

Mentally it does so much for me to have alone time to recharge mentally, spiritually, and physically, but I try to be as efficient with this time as I can be. Sometimes I get a lot of work done that earns our family income, while other times I just try to get caught up with housework or my to-do list so we can all feel a bit more sane in our home.

Lately I haven’t had as much childcare as I’ve been used to in the past, because my in-laws keep going on these enviable trips around the country, hiking, sky-diving, and whatnot, while my parents, on the other hand, have been dealing with some pretty serious health issues that my dad is recovering from. I’m just grateful for his life, so I really don’t mind the lack of childcare. Though things are getting back to normal on that front now.

Phil and I are very purposeful about balancing our alone time, time with our individual friends, time with our friends we share, time alone as a couple, and time all together as a family. This takes a lot of intentionality, and every month we check in to make sure everyone’s happy with how things have been going.

Sometimes I’ll go away for a trip with my girlfriends, or I’ll have friends over multiple nights in a row for crafting, wine, movies, or just catching up. He plays in a basketball league, is a mentor, has Bible studies with men and also alongside me with couples, and an active social life to boot.

Sometimes I don’t know how we fit it all in, but other than our basics like I’ve just described, we don’t make a lot of plans and try to keep flexible with our schedules. We do like to host, and it seems like our friends enjoy being in our home, too! That’s a big relief for me, because I like being social late in the evening, but that isn’t always possible with kids unless people are able to come to your home for hangs.

What do I love most about living with my girls? I love seeing a spunky personality emerge from what I first knew as a tiny dancing fetus on the ultrasound screen! It’s hard to understand that feeling until you experience it, I suppose, but the amount of influence and responsibility we have over her life is daunting at times, but mostly it’s a huge honor and makes us more thoughtful about everything we do in life, even in how we take care of our home and set good examples for things like screen time and television content.

Most of all, I just really like my two girls, and see them, yes as my responsibility, but also as two lifelong friends that I enjoy having alongside me to enhance every joy and to help soften every blow that comes along as well.

I’ll never forget when the doctors told me that my tumor was malignant, and my Lucy (who was seven months old at the time) just looked at me and laughed with the crinkliest eyes possible. It can be difficult when everyone in your life overanalyzes how to treat you, sometimes avoiding the difficulty altogether. Or sometimes you find yourself feeling the need to tell everyone else in your life that everything will be okay. But when you have a little person who just exudes joy and isn’t touched by the sadness, understanding, or fear, it can be the greatest gift. You don’t have to know that everything will be okay, but at least you can enjoy each fleeting moment while it lasts.

My dad, an engineer and also very talented craftsman, created for my brother and I an enormous collection of building blocks that we put to use in every area of play during our childhood. We would spend all day building sprawling villages with carefully constructed homes, and my parents would let us keep them set up for an entire week, because they could see our imagination and joy at having created such a special play world. I always felt so bad for my friends who had to keep their homes entirely neat and tidy, or pick up all of their toys at the end of the day, with no exceptions.

Yes, there is a balance to find in there somewhere, and I always try to make sure that I’m teaching my kiddos responsibility and making sure our home is enjoyable to all who live in it, but a childhood is such a brief moment in time. I don’t want to regret limiting their joy and childlike wonder. I hope that I give my children chances to try all different kinds of crafts and hobbies in our home, to build relationships with their friends and our family’s friends, to see creativity and healthy habits modeled for them, and to feel like this is their space as much as it is mine.

If I had to do it all over again, I’d let them make a mess in the kitchen whenever they asked to help.

–-

Illness has a way of rearranging our furniture for us, don’t you think? I’ve read this line at least seven times: “I looked towards eternity in Heaven, rather than wasting away a few lame years waiting for a West Elm sectional while bemoaning my prefab sofa.” Thank you, Mandi, for sharing your earned wisdom with us all.

Another line I love because I relate to it so completely: “I will never purge my supply stash, which is inconveniently stored in several places around my home, because I believe having access to materials when inspiration strikes is so invaluable!”

Anyone else out there in love with their city and working hard to get it back where it once was? I’d sure love to hear your experiences.

P.S. – Are you living with your own kids in a unique way? Are you interested in sharing your home and experiences with us? Let me knowWe love to be inspired! And it’s a lot of fun…I promise! I should also mention, I have a goal to bring more diverse points of view to Design Mom this year. So if you don’t see yourself or your community reflected here, let’s make it happen — send in your details, or recommend a friend! Take a peek at all the homes in my Living With Kids series here.

34 thoughts on “Living With Kids: Mandi Johnson”

  1. Refreshing Living with Kids that actually addresses the issue of money! There have been a few in this series where the family lives in a huge, gorgeous home in a very expensive area – but one is a blogger and one builds furniture or hand-presses stationary or something. And the elephant in the room of how the house was affordable in that area with those jobs is never addressed. I am from NE Ohio too – enjoyed this one!

      1. Thank you! I often wonder about peoples’ finances when I see their living situations (I guess I’m nosey), and am always interested in real estate shows where they show the cost of living everywhere else in the country— much higher than where I live! So I figured I’d just put it out there. :) -Mandi

  2. Agreed! I really liked how they addressed the issue of budget honestly. My husband and I are on a very tight budget and just recently paid all of our debt, which is amazing. However, it makes it difficult for me to even consider buying a throw pillow, a new pair of shoes…nevermind a house. This tour puts things in perspective.

  3. So many things I liked about this tour. I love your record player, your double-sink , all the houseplants, the mix of furnishings old, new and in-between, and the blue toilet!

  4. Wow, such thoughtful and thought-provoking ideas throughout. What a lovely “voice” and perspective. I’ll definitely look to be reading more by Mandi.

  5. I really enjoyed this tour. I appreciate her honesty and I like the fact that I am reminded that while focusing on Heaven deserves so much more attention than my earthly surroundings, I do not have to totally neglect the latter. Having just (10 months ago) had a child after 11 years of marriage, I’m glad she gave me the perspective of not being tyrannical (my word, not hers) about having toys put away at the end of the day. Thanks for the reminder that it’s OK to let them be kids while at the same time maintaining an orderly home. Lots of good stuff here. Thanks!

  6. This is one of my favorite Living with Kids posts ever! I love Mandi’s perspective on life and also her clean, happy style. I’m sure if we met, we’d be friends. Thanks for the fun read today.

  7. Mandi! Hi IG/Ohio friend. I loved getting this peek into your home, but also your heart and mind a little more. Man, it is so stupid easy to envy people and create all these unnecessary ideas about what we think we need and want for our lives. I too have a hard time fining that balance between creating a home of beauty that I love being in while also realizing that stuff and things are never as important as people and relationships. Work in progress. Thanks for all your thoughts and Ohio love as well…I’m embracing this state a little more each day. XO

  8. I love this interview and am very impressed with the very tasteful and beautiful interior. I would not have thought ‘budget’ at all.

  9. Mandi, thank you for sharing. I am from Ohio, though from the Southeast/South Central part. I loved this Living With Kids so much. Your spirit is beautiful, your honesty was refreshing, and your home design aesthetic is gorgeous!

  10. Oh, this was such a heart-felt installment. Your home, as it is, is lovely and unique. I’m sure most of us can relate to that constant dissatisfaction with our home situation (my husband and I are public educators also!). How often we need those reminders about living life in the present and LOVING life in the present. Thank you for sharing yours.

  11. Stunning!! It’s hard to imagine being jealous of others when your home looks like that! Truly inspiring home, especially on a budget!

  12. I think Mandi’s home is all the more lovely for the budget constraints. So many unique vintage touches. I have visited “perfect” homes to write decor articles for magazines and, while they are nice, some are without character. I leave appreciating the elements in our home that say something about who lives here and what our interests are. This story left me without words for a moment – it’s just so poignant and touching.

  13. I love how much honesty you show in this post Mandi. We’re kind-of-sort-of in a similar situation and I can totally relate to what you went through. I also love your kitchen! Can you tell me if your walls are *pure* white? I’ve never thought it could be done, but your decor with that white wall looks stunning!

    1. Thank you! The walls in my kitchen (shiplap and bricks) are untinted white paint. The walls elsewhere are Ben Moore “Pure White,” which isn’t actually pure white, but a touch darker, so where is some contrast with the untinted white trim. -Mandi

  14. Great post. Looking at your pictures of your home, I wonder why you would want to move. It looks beautiful and wonderfully designed to me. I agree about letting children make the mess. I find it hard to let them be fully free also because I’m concerned over the mess.

    1. Thank you! I know regionally space is seen so differently, but here in NE Ohio we’ll be able to move into a larger home pretty easily, financially-speaking. I plan to homeschool and really crave a room to make into a classroom for my kids. We plan to have more children, and also want to live in an area where they can play outside where I can see them from a window. But I do constantly battle between wanting more space or just getting rid of more of our “stuff.” :) -Mandi

  15. Mandy seems to be a very passionate writer. However, back on the question. Having a kid is really a blessing. The special connection we have with our children is insanely unique. But being a mother of one, and I recently had my other daughter, I barely have time to breathe. The complete house is a mess, but it’s a mess of love. Regardless dirtiness is not appreciated at home and I’m having regular cleaning sessions by my cleaning lady Nadia. Cleaning is healthy for my kids, and seeing the house professionally cleaned is a blessing for the eye.

  16. Mandy, Your home is beautiful, your story is inspiring. You have such a gift for design. You really know how to make the right choices and put things together in such a simple and beautiful way. It wasn’t until we bought our first home until I realized how absolutely challenged I am in this area. It requires so much talent and skill. So, when you start to feel wistful, know that there is a mom out there who has a little house envy of YOU! On space usage, we have an extra family room in our house that just never gets used, and we all end up in one room anyway, whether we’re playing or working or whatever. As for your future house, you NEED to come back on design mom and show us all what you come up with in a few years!

    Thanks for the reminder to allow kids to make a mess. My two year old twins are getting to the age where they want to “help” and I need to remind myself that its ok to make a mess sometimes. Heck, they even love to help “clean” (even if they’re not 100% effective, they can help wipe down floors and put their dirty dishes in the sink). So what I needed today!

  17. Two practical questions:
    Been looking for a compact ascetically pleasing cd player for a while. Looked like that’s what you had on your kitchen shelf. Know where I can find one?
    Have you had any regrets about your wood countertops? I really wanted some but started to get nervous about staining from foods (like jelly making with elderberries) or being able to sanitize them and the water damage that might occur around the sink, as I have a very hard working country kitchen. Would love to hear your thoughts.

    1. I love this CD player! I use the CD, the radio, and the bluetooth connectivity. I use it every day and love the way it looks too. Here’s a link to where I bought it on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2eHGvc4

      As far as the countertops go, I love them! I noticed a little knick on the edge just this week that was really random. My husband and I can’t figure out where it came from, and thought surely we’d remember banging something so heavy into it so as to knick it. But I figured I’d sand it down and add more tongue oil to it. That’s part of the beauty of the butcher block— I love the patina that comes with wear, but since we want to sell in the next couple of years, I want to keep the patina away. So I can always sand out any scratches or whatnot and reseal. As far as stains go, I notice little dots of red wine days later (hiding behind something else), and it always wipes off. I applied 5 coats of Waterlox to seal the finish, and have never had an issue with staining or anything penetrating the wood (the counters are now 2 years old). You can read about the installation and everything at this post: http://www.abeautifulmess.com/2014/09/diy-butcher-block-counters-with-undermount-sink.html

      1. Thank you so much for taking the time to share! That was just the info I needed. I love seeing what others are doing on a budget as mine is tight too & I save for everything too. Blessings on ur family!

  18. My husband is from Northeast Ohio too and he would definitely echo your words. He has such pride in his state. We lived there for a number of years (and hope to again someday). It is a special place with some of the best people I’ve ever met.

    Your home is beautiful! I can’t believe what you’ve been able to do on a tight budget. Real talent. Also, I can relate to those moments that put everything into perspective. I had a really terrible third pregnancy that involved months in the hospital and wondering if the baby would make it. A friend asked me if I had the nursery decorated and I thought, “who cares about a nursery being decorated!??” Yet months earlier I probably was completely consumed with how I would decorate the nursery. It all seemed so superficial once I had real problems to agonize over. But now a few years later I see that the superficial/fun/light things have a place in life too. Appreciated your words!

  19. This is a beautiful home, and what Mandi wrote about her experiences hit my heart. I loved her honesty with finances (we started off in our marriage with a post doc in neuroscience, and an actress salary, so tight!) I have always loved beautiful things, too, but even as my husband’s salary has grown, and we now have a bigger home, I still prefer to be very thoughtful with what I decide to bring into my home and how I decorate. It makes things more meaningful, better for the environment, and makes me a better steward of my finances. All that said, thank you for the beautiful tour and inspiring home!

  20. Mandi: Interesting, that you mention how you sometimes felt unhappy or not satisfied with the way your home looks!
    Before reading this post I first only looked at the photos. I thought that this was one of the best and most beautiful interiors I have seen in this series for ages. When seeing your home I assumed that some things in your rooms probably come from an expensive vintage store in some gentrified urban area or that you must be good at finding charming stuff at flea markets. I never had thought that this home was put together on a tight budget. I love your style.

    I can totally agree on the feeling you had after suffering from cancer. All our worrying about curtains, couches or carpets seem so lame and superficial when looking at the beauty of being alive. But still it is okay to enjoy nice interiors!

    Warm regards from Germany!
    Heidi

  21. I loved reading your post about your home and Canton. We lived in Plain Township for 12 years and loved the area and the people. We moved away 4 years ago and still consider Ohio our adopted home. Loved the mid-century vibe you have designed on a limited budget.Says hello Canton for me.

  22. LOVED this one! My mother was diagnosed with a rare, incurable cancer at age 40 and was the longest living survivor, on record, with her type when she died 14 years later. She was grateful for her cancer, and even though I ache for missing her and her motherly wisdom, I am also grateful for what it gave to her and to our family. She had been orphaned by age 12 and it was all very traumatic – the details. She married at 18 and was a mother at 19, so our family was her everything. She was very quiet and nobody could say a negative thing about her…she was loved by all. She was very fearful of certain things…flying, etc. She actually insisted on the Flight attendant telling the pilots she heard noises in the engine on our first plane trip back in 1985. Cra-Cra! :-) Then cancer came and she was *free. She knew that she would die from this disease so why not fly to Hawaii and take a helicopter ride over a volcano…who cares if she died a few months or years earlier. She traveled to Eastern and Western Europe and never would have done so prior to her diagnosis. She also started standing up for herself and began stating her likes and dislikes and never lost a friend for it. She became a healthier person and a better example for her family of setting boundaries and asserting herself. She was probably a bit co-dependent on some of her children until the diagnosis. She then, in a healthy way, gave us permission/pushed us and challenged us to “go wherever God calls you and do whatever he calls you to do. You will be fine and happy and I will fly to visit you.” She gave us courage and freedom and I am so grateful b/c I see unhealthy, clingy parenting all around me. Anyhow, you are only the second person I have ever heard say they were grateful for this disease and I totally get it! God bless you!

  23. This was such a beautiful, personal, heartfelt post. I’m already obsessed with your home, but getting to know your stories felt like a privilege. Thank you for sharing!

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