Living With Kids: Kendal Gerard
As newlyweds living in 600 square feet, Kendal and her husband decided it was time to buy a house and get more space. So they searched and searched and fell in love…
…with an 800 square foot house. Hah!
Happily, it turns out 800 square feet is ideal for their family. I can tell you’re really going to enjoy this home tour. There are a lot of things you won’t want to miss — including dramatic housing price changes, cross country moves, and a visit to the pet shelter.
… His & Hers Money: Are Joint Accounts Bad for the Relationship?
Joint banks accounts or separate? What’s your preference? I recently read this article about how separate bank accounts, long recommended for women who want to retain some healthy independence, have turned out to be a bad thing for some people. I found the article shocking. It talks about one couple in Australia who keep separate accounts and who were both working full time. Then they had a baby and she stopped working, and essentially had no money.
“Janine and her husband do not share money. They have a joint account for bills and household expenses, but they have never shared disposable income. To prepare for having a baby, Janine saved money so she would be able to afford to have coffee and go out with her friends and buy clothes that would fit and go to the gym once her daughter was born.
I don’t mean Janine and her husband saved up. I mean Janine saved up her money, while her husband carried on, and carries on, as normal.”
…His & Hers Money: Are Joint Accounts Bad for the Relationship?Read More »
She Picked A New Last Name. Not Her Maiden Name. Not Her Married Name. Something New.
Have you ever considered picking a new last name? I’m not talking about hyphens or married names. I’m wondering if you’ve ever considered a new, totally different name than you have now.
Why am I asking? Well, it’s because my friend Lyna just announced on Facebook that she has changed her last name. And I keep thinking about it, because it’s an out of the ordinary situation. Usually new names come with a big life moment, like the change in marital status, or a birth. But that’s not the case for Lyna. She felt she needed a new surname, so she changed it. Done.
I think I’m kind of in awe. Technically, I guess I knew that it’s possible for anyone to change their name at anytime. I just haven’t seen it done. After watching Lyna, I’m wondering why doesn’t this happen more often? It has me thinking about names and how much they can affect us or even help to transform us.
In Lyna’s case, it was fun for me to realize that her new name fits her perfectly. In fact, it seems like such a natural fit that I can’t believe it wasn’t already her name. I asked Lyna if she would share her story — the reason she decided to choose a new name — and she sent over a beautiful mini-essay. I know you’ll love it.
…She Picked A New Last Name. Not Her Maiden Name. Not Her Married Name. Something New.Read More »
Living With Kids: Stephanie Starner
Have you ever wished you could just sell your house, store your favorite stuff, and take your life on the road for a year? (Or, let’s be realistic, a week or two would be an adventure, too!) I’m always interested in those who redefine the typical, the expected, the status quo. And Stephanie did just that, living and working in an RV and traveling the US with her sweet family.
Spoiler: My favorite part of this interview is her recounting of the family’s worst moment on the road. It’s a nail-biter, with a lovely, lovely ending. I can’t wait to share it with you. Welcome, Stephanie!
… Are the Dutch Better Parents?
According to this article, Unicef reports that Dutch children are the happiest in the world. It describes a society of balanced parenting, where family is the focus, work weeks average 29 hours, school is stress-free, and teenagers don’t rebel. Two quotes from the article:
“Parents have a healthy attitude towards their kids, seeing them as individuals rather than as extensions of themselves. They understand that achievement doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness, but that happiness can cultivate achievement.”
“The Dutch definitely do not care if little Sophie or Sem is a piano prodigy, a chess champion or an Instagram model famous by the age of two. There are no Baby Einstein DVDs being played, no black-and-white flash cards being used, and definitely no baby enrichment classes or baby gyms, at least not outside the major cities. The Dutch aren’t concerned about their babies being the smartest. They seem to just want them to be the easiest.”
… Confession: What If I’m Okay With Mediocre?
Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui wrote a beautiful essay where she asks, “What if I am mediocre and choose to be at peace with that?” The essay is calming and quiet and gives permission to take things more slowly. I hope you get to read it.
I’d love to discuss it with you, because even though I enjoyed it, as I read, I found myself disagreeing with her concept of mediocre. The life she’s describing is familiar, but I don’t see it as mediocre in any way. It’s a life full of love and of time spent on things she’s passionate about. She describes it as plain, but it’s actually full of envious accomplishments (like a decades-long happy marriage). It seems like almost anyone could be content with her version of a mediocre life.
… Living With Kids: Jason Caldeira
If you’ve ever wondered how often I get an email from a home tour host who calls himself a Design Dad, I now have the answer: once. Jason is witty and stylish, and loves being a husband and parent…oh, I could go on and on about Jason, but I don’t want to keep you too long from his words and unique home!
So here he is: Jason Caldeira, Design Dad. Enjoy this one so much, everyone!
… Sheet Pan Dinner: Chicken Tacos with Tomatillo Salsa
Lindsey sent me this recipe and the next day I had this moment: Did I dream that? One sheet pan dinner + tacos? Could it be true? My family has gobbled up every recipe in the sheet pan dinner series so far, and like pretty much everyone in the world, my family gobbles up tacos too. So this couldn’t be a better fit for us. Are you feeling the same way?
Good. Then let’s jump into the recipe, but before we do, I’m curious, what’s your favorite Mexican food restaurant? And I’m talking about Mexican food in the broadest sense possible — from the totally authentic taco truck downtown through any Americanized version you’ve come across. As for me? We have loads of excellent taquerias in the Oakland, but for after hours, I admit I am very familiar with the late night Taco Bell drive-thru (and I can pretend to not be embarrassed about that since I read this.) If I’m at the mall, I’m also a dedicated fan of Rubio’s fish tacos. How about you? Where do you go for Mexican food?
…Sheet Pan Dinner: Chicken Tacos with Tomatillo SalsaRead More »
Random Thoughts
Well look at that. It’s time for a Random Thoughts post! I try to post one of these once a month, and it’s basically a compilation of whatever is on my mind at the moment. Feel free to share your own random thoughts in the comments.
– Monday afternoons are currently my favorite. That’s when we get our weekly email from Ralph, who is on a mission in Colombia. And sometimes, if we’re online at the same time as him, we can message back and forth and it almost feels like a phone call.
Ralph is now with his third “companion” since he arrived in Colombia. The companion is assigned — they don’t get to pick — and changes up every couple of months or so. Ralph’s first companion was from Mexico, and he was at the end of his mission, so Ralph was his last partner. The second companion was from Argentina, and again, Ralph was the last partner before he finished his mission. Ralph’s third companion is from Panama, and he came to the mission a few weeks after Ralph, so Ralph won’t be sending him home.
… Living With Kids: Kelsey Williams
Kelsey and I first started corresponding back in January. Of 2015, that is! Yes, sometimes home tours take a little longer than a few emails back and forth! But this one is so worth it.
Yes, Kelsey’s tour is well worth the wait, and not just because her interior style is fresh and inspired. If we had done the tour back in 2015, her baby Finch wouldn’t even be mentioned! I’m glad we waited for the little guy.
So please help me welcome Kelsey and her super cute family!
… Living With Kids: Sharon Ellis McCuistian
Sharon not only lives in a unique town, but the story behind her move to it is life-affirming. Life goes on, she tells us. It’s scary and difficult and it often looks nothing like it did the day before, but aren’t we lucky to be living it? Yes.
But this isn’t your average-ordinary Living With Kids tour. It’s more of a Living After the Kids Grew Up and a Lot of Other Things Happened but Here I Am Now tour. Whatever you call it, this is a home tour to warm your heart. Welcome, Sharon.
… Call It A Day: Rachel Abbott
Have you ever wanted to live in France for a year? Or more? Then this post is for you. Rachel lives in the French countryside with 3 young children, and since she loves her life so darn much, she’s taking us around a typical day.
So here she is. And I will warn you now: You’re about to feel some wanderlust!
… I Want Another Baby – What if Your Partner Wants Fewer Kids Than You?
You want another baby but your husband or partner doesn’t? You’re not alone. Kate, a Design Mom reader, emailed me a few days ago with this question: How did you and Ben Blair decide how many kids to have? I am particularly curious because my husband and I are currently in (thankfully not contentious) disagreement about whether or not to want another baby. — Kate
That’s a big question. And I could feel my heart pound as I read it, because it’s a tough situation, and so personal. Plus, I know it’s not uncommon.
Even when you’ve talked about this sort of thing before you have kids, it doesn’t always prevent a disconnect. Maybe you both said we want 2 or 3 kids before you got started. And then, a couple of babies later, one of you feels like the 2-3 should definitely be 3, and the other feels like it should definitely be 2.
…I Want Another Baby – What if Your Partner Wants Fewer Kids Than You?Read More »
Living With Kids: Becky Kimball
Many of you who have been reading blogs since they were invented will remember Becky Kimball. Her blog was once a space of hope and heartbreak for a lot of us, and always, always gorgeous. How lovely that Becky’s work and life still are.
Welcome to my back-in-the-day blogging friend!
… My Favorite Kitchen Things
As you may know, I’ve published over 6500 blog posts here on Design Mom. I rarely go all the way back in the archives, but during the site redesign last year, I needed to, and I discovered two things. First, there are many old posts that are no longer functional — perhaps the photos have disappeared or the text has become irrelevant. So I’ve been taking down old posts as needed while I go through the archives month of month. It’s a sloooow process.
But the second thing I discovered is that there some really killer content in those early years, from lots of different voices, that I had forgotten about and that you probably haven’t seen either. For example, I came across a post written 10 years ago by Adriana Velez, who is both an excellent cook and an excellent writer, where she details her favorite kitchen things. When I saw it, I was curious. Are these picks still her favorites?
So I emailed her the original list and asked her if it was still relevant, and happily, she wrote back with an updated list! So I thought it would be fun to re-publish the post with her new and old picks side-by-side. I think it’s so fun to see how things have changed, and what has stayed the same.
One thing I know that has changed for sure since this list was first posted: Online Shopping. Back in the day, when blogging was still in its infancy, so was online shopping. Amazon Prime wasn’t a thing yet, and internet shopping was still pretty unusual. So when Adriana first wrote her list, she didn’t include product links — because so few of these things were buyable online yet! Isn’t that crazy to think of? Hah!
… Did You Lose Your Identity?
The photo above is my mother, Donna Jean Pack, age 25, holding her first baby, my sister, Rachel Emily Stanley. It was taken in 1969; my sister would have been about 3 months old. My mom, and the whole photo, is so styling, right? The hair, the necktie, the confidence, the lamp, the suede sofa.
I hadn’t seen this photo in years, and when it came across my desk last week, I started thinking about parenthood and identity and how children change us. Did you watch the Grammys a few weeks ago? I read a good article about Adele’s Grammy speech and the unspoken “loss of self” that mothers often experience, and I’d love to discuss it with you.
… Living With Kids: Paige Posladek
This Living With Kids feature was the tour that almost never happened. The photos were prepped, the interview was sent…and then a family sadness took over Paige’s process. Sadness has a way of doing that, doesn’t it?
So I’d check in every so often. July, then September, and then once more in November, but it wasn’t until this month that she was ready to take us on a tour. Better late than never, I say, because Paige – her words and her home – were worth the wait. You’ll see.
… Scheduling Holidays
Pretend holiday dates were flexible, and that we could schedule them at ideal times. Would you make any changes to the current holiday calendar?
… Living With Kids: Lara Casey
I always encourage our home tour guides to be honest. “It’s so worth it,” I write. “You never know who out there you’ll be helping at the perfect moment when they need your words the most.” Well, Lara Casey took me up on my plea for honesty. You will be moved and encouraged and, best yet, motivated after spending time with her thoughts.
I’m so happy to share her with you today. Welcome, Lara!
… What to Wear to Middle School & High School
Earlier, I shared What to Wear to Elementary School, featuring my 5th grader and 1st grader. And now, I’m sharing What to Wear to Middle School and High School. Oscar is in 6th grade, his first year at middle school, and Olive is in 9th grade, her first year at high school.
Oscar’s school actually has a required uniform, so some of what you’re seeing in these photos are weekend clothes. But the uniform is actually pretty flexible and makes room for quite a few options. The uniform requirements are this: 1) Any khaki colored bottom (shorts, pants or skirt). In Oscar’s case, that means trousers, cords, cargo pants, and even a lined khaki “city jogger”. 2) Tops need to be either navy or white and have a collar. For Oscar, that means mostly button downs and polo shirts with long and short sleeves. 3) Top layers — like sweaters or hoodies — can be anything at all. Which makes this uniform very adaptable.
This is our first school uniform experience. So far, I like it, and I think Oscar mostly does too. Though with good grades, he can earn free-dress days on Fridays, and he thinks that’s wonderful too. Have you ever had school uniform requirements? If yes, what was your experience like?
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