Thoughts On A Horrific Weekend
Hello from Wednesday morning in Sydney. I hope you’re doing well. Here are some of the thoughts I had on the airplane as we crossed the ocean.
On the cold-blooded murder of two black people in a Kroger grocery story:
I can’t stop thinking about this. Did you see the video of the white witness? He said the killer didn’t kill him because the killer said: Whites don’t kill whites. The whole thing made me retch.
While I’m aware racism is an everyday fact in our country, it seems like sometimes racist people aren’t aware of how racist they are. Have you heard the story about the fish not knowing what water is? It’s like racism is so pervasive in our society, that they’ve never seen life without it, so they don’t recognize it. They might act in ways that are racist, but if you called them racist, they would be deeply offended.
… Living With Kids: Jennifer Beeson
When Jennifer Beeson sent over her photos for this weeks home tour, my jaw dropped. The home they live in was designed and built by Bernard Maybeck who was a luminary of the Arts and Crafts movement in California. There are bright open windows, tons of warm wood, and Jennifer and her family have tastefully decorated it so that the home feels modern and comfortable but maintains its original charm.
Welcome, Jennifer Beeson!
… Sydney Travel Advice
Hello, Friends. I need some advice, some Sydney travel advice specifically. I’m headed to Sydney on Monday. I was invited to speak at the Feminist Writer’s Festival and to present my Twitter thread on Irresponsible Ejaculation.
This is my first trip to Australia and I’m crazy excited about it. Though also somewhat overwhelmed. This is what’s on my mind:
…Living With Kids: Heather Deyo
Heather Deyo is goals. She’s mostly raised her kids and has only her youngest child still at home. Her house is gorgeous but she is already making plans to downsize. And she is the perfect example of living life well — her kids are successful and all-around decent human beings, she has done incredible work to help survivors of human trafficking, and to help with the HIV/AIDS crisis in South Africa. Heather is well-read, well-traveled, and has deep well of parenting wisdom to share. I’m so excited for you to meet her. Welcome, Heather Deyo!
… The Treehouse: Guest Room / Boys Room
It’s show-and-tell day! In August, I redesigned theboys’ room as we prepared to welcome our oldest son Ralph home, after spending two years in Colombia.
This was easily the most fun design project I’ve done in ages. I loved working with Room & Board to tackle the challenges in the space, and I love, love, love how our boys room ideas turned out. The room is cozy. It’s interesting. It’s practical. It’s handsome. It’s a very small bedroom that works really hard.
There were three particular problems I wanted to solve with the redesign: 1) I needed the room to work as an optional guest room. 2) I needed to figure out adequate closet space for a 13-year-old and a 20-year-old. 3) I wanted the room to feel more grownup, but still cool.
Would you like to see how the space turned out?
…Living With Kids: Meredith Coe’s Pennsylvania Home
Today, Meredith Coe, of King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, is sharing her home with us. Not only is her home incredibly charming and stylish, but Meredith really opens up about a second-trimester miscarriage she suffered during her first pregnancy. I am sure there are readers out there who have gone through something similar, or who have a friend or loved one who has. I hope that Meredith’s story might lend some light and perspective.
One of things I love the most about Living With Kids is getting to hear stories from all sorts of families. And I especially love when someone is brave enough to really be vulnerable and share tough things they’ve been through. Welcome, Meredith!
…Living With Kids: Meredith Coe’s Pennsylvania HomeRead More »
Living With Kids: Sarah Fremont
Today’s home tour is gorgeous. There are soft warm wood tones, and unique pieces of furniture, and the feeling that this house has been curated and collected over time. Plus there’s a dreamy yard — the kind made for lounging and watching the sunset. All of this beauty comes from the home of Sarah Freemont, a part-time writer and former teacher, who now home schools her four kids in this stunning home outside of Austin, Texas. Welcome, Sarah! We’re so glad you’re sharing your home with us.
… Living With Kids: Lindsey Daigle
Lindsey and her family live in Boston, and because she and her husband both work in the airline industry, they are frequent and avid travelers. Lindsey has some great advice on traveling successfully with small children, both as a traveling parent herself, and as an experienced flight attendant who’s seen every version of the good, and the bad, on airplanes. And to top it all off, Lindsey’s home is whimsical and stylish and full of bright colors and patterns. Welcome, Lindsey!
… A Few Things
Hello, Friends. How was your week? Are you angry? I’m angry. I’m so angry. At the end of the hearing yesterday, as I heard GOP senators apologizing to Kavanaugh, I concluded he will be appointed to the Supreme Court. A lifelong position. I concluded there was nothing Dr. Ford could have said yesterday that would have changed their minds. They were going to vote for him no matter what.
There was nothing Kavanaugh could have said that would have changed their minds either. He could have said, “Sure I got girls drunk, and my friends and I would take turns raping them all through high school and college. So what? It’s just a thing guys do.” And the entire body of Republican Senators would respond, “See? He’s so honest! I was already planning to vote for him, and now I’m even more convinced he’s the man for the job.”
I’m furious. I hate him. I hate him so much. I hate every entitled man who thinks he “deserves” a spot on the Supreme Court; that he “earned” it because he got into Yale Law School. I’m sick to my stomach when I hear women defending him. It’s so, so gross.
This is a job interview not a trial. If you are hiring someone, and you call a bunch of references, and several say the applicant sexually attacked or harassed them, then you would never hire him. Period. Even if lots of other people said he was great. As a boss you would consider him way too big of a risk. You would simply find another candidate who doesn’t come with that kind of baggage. Especially in a case like this where there are no particular time constraints, and you can carefully find another option with no rush.
This is the best option for the Supreme Court? Really?
I don’t know what else to say. I’m furious. Just a big boiling ball of rage at this point. I’ve got a few things I’ve wanted to share with you, but I’m not gonna lie, they might make you rage too.
… Men are Lucky Women are Seeking Equality and Not Revenge
Have you followed any of the coverage of today’s hearing? It’s quite horrific. I had to pull my car over as Dr. Ford described Kavanaugh covering her mouth, and her fear that he would accidentally kill her. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt a huge amount of anger well up in me as I listened. I keep thinking about that saying: Men are lucky women are seeking equality and not revenge.
I find myself so embarrassed by the spectacle. Women are the majority of America’s voting population, yet 11 men sit in judgment of Christine Blasey Ford (four of them Mormon dammit!). In the room, they are seated above Dr. Ford, unwilling to ask her their questions themselves, and instead they hired a woman to do their dirty work.
This is an especially hard day for anyone who is reliving a past abuse. If that’s you, I just want you to know there are millions of women (and plenty of men too) who are right here with you. We believe you.
How are you holding up, Dear Readers? Have you had to stay away from the coverage because it’s too traumatic? Are you at work and having a hard time keeping it together? Have you been hearing from friends who are having a hard time of it? Are you able to watch or listen and keep emotionally distant? Are your kids old enough to be aware of what’s happening? If you need a place to discuss how the hearings are affecting you, please feel free to use the comment section.
P.S. — Discussing this on social media today, I appreciated someone saying the equality-not-revenge quote also applies to race. So true.
Image by Erin Schaff-Pool via Nylon.
What to Wear to School: 3rd Grade & 11th Grade
Here’s Part Two in this year’s What to Wear to School series. Today’s post features Olive, 11th grader, age 17, and June, 3rd grader, age 8. Unlike Oscar and Betty, neither of their schools require uniforms, so they have free range of their closets when choosing an outfit.
We had so much fun doing these shoots this year. The kids love setting out the clothes, putting together outfits, and figuring out the perfect accessories. It’s fun to see their style develop over the years. For these photos, college-sister Maude gets a shout out for the pretty French braids in June’s hair.
…What to Wear to School: 7th & 8th Grade — Uniform Edition
Anyone in the mood for a What to Wear to School post? We shot these photos last month, on the day before school started, which I’m just now realizing is almost 6 weeks ago. I can hardly believe it. Sometimes it feels like life is on fast forward, you know?
Today’s post features Oscar, 8th grader, age 13, and Betty, 7th grader, age 12. Their school requires uniforms, but it’s not too formal. The rules are: 1) Tops must be navy or white (no prints), with a collar. 2) Bottoms — shorts, pants or skirts — must be khaki.
That’s it. There’s no particular style of top that’s required, there’s no particular shade of khaki for the bottoms. There’s nothing special that needs to be ordered, and no particular store where our “uniform” is stocked. Plus, the students can wear any kind of sweater or hoodie or topper that they want — which is basically a daily necessity here in Oakland.
It’s Betty’s first year at this school, and she was not happy about the idea of a uniform. She pictured putting together back to school outfits and it sounded super boring. But in reality, this uniform allows for much more flexibility and personality than you might expect. Of the outfits we picture here in this post, all are uniform-approved, except for one outfit for Oscar and one outfit for Betty — sometimes the school offers a Free-dress Fridays where no uniforms are required.
…What to Wear to School: 7th & 8th Grade — Uniform EditionRead More »
Living With Kids: Jennifer VanDerwerken
I think you’ll love getting to know Jennifer. She was living in the big city, working in publishing, never thinking she’d go back to the small home town she grew up in. But when she had kids, she started to feel that urge to return “home.” Her parents are still young and vibrant and love their grandkids, and because of the distance, Jennifer didn’t get to see them as often as she liked.
So Jennifer found a lovely 70s rambler in her home town, moved her family, and began to tackle updates to make it feel just right for their family. The house is so lovely, you’re not going to want to miss one bit.
Welcome, Jennifer!
… How Long do You Want to Live?
Last week, the Washington Post published a short article about how Japan has recently set a new record for the number of people in their country who are over 100 years old.
“The ministry announced Friday that the number of Japanese citizens who were older than 100 had risen to reach 69,785. Of that number, more than 88 percent are women.”
While my first thought is that it’s an amazing miracle that the average life span is going up, up, up, the reality of actually living longer lives brings up lots of questions and issues our modern societies don’t quite know how to deal with.
… Living With Kids – Shannon Waller
Today’s Living with Kids home tour comes to you from Ontario, Canada. Let me introduce you to Shannon, plus her husband and her daughters, who live in an old wartime era house that they have slowly renovated over the years. The house is brimming with personality, and the renovation made everything a bit more modern, while still staying true to the old home roots. I really think you’ll love how light and bright the house is — you’re going to want to hang out for a bit.
Welcome, Shannon!
… If Only Every Factory Was As Mindful As The Method Factory
Last month, I took a trip to Chicago. I was invited by Grove Collaborative to go see the Method Factory, located in Pullman — a neighborhood within the Chicago city limits. I didn’t quite know what to expect from the trip, but I learned a ton, and can’t wait to discuss it with you.
Grove is a company that is committed to social good and carries products like Method’s that do the same. If you haven’t tried Method products, but want to, I’ve arranged a special deal for you through Grove. If you’re a first time customer, you can get a bottle of Method Handsoap, a bottle of Method Dishsoap, a bottle of Method Glass Cleaner, and a pack of Grove Walnut Scrubbers — all free when you spend $20 on your first order. More on that below.
I originally started buying Method products for the design — the colors, the fun bottle shapes, the scents. When they burst on the scene in 2000, they were unlike any other cleaning product companies out there. I didn’t really know about their eco-story — their commitment to responsible manufacturing and social good — and at the time, they didn’t really publicize that story. But these days, consumers are trying hard to make responsible buying decisions, and all of sudden, Method’s history of green manufacturing is totally relevant.
Method factory offers weekly tours — they lovingly call it the Southside Soapbox — and if you can make it, I highly recommend a visit. It was super eye-opening to me, and has me thinking about corporate responsibility and the impact a company can make on their community. Their factory is a game-changer in so many ways, and I wish I could send every brand I love to go study what they’re doing.
Here are some of my notes from my visit to the Method Factory.
…If Only Every Factory Was As Mindful As The Method FactoryRead More »
Living With Kids: Laura Kaster
Today’s Living With Kids mom, Laura, lives in a charming bungalow outside of Chicago. When she and her husband were looking for a home, she wanted to find a more affordable space, so she could cut back on time at her demanding job, and spend more time raising her son, Stewie. The house they found is small — under 1000 square feet. But it doesn’t feel small at all — and it’s filled with gorgeous wood trim, and beautiful architectural details. It really is a dream; warm and comfy and inviting. Welcome, Laura!!
… Random Thoughts
I woke up this morning with all sorts of things I wanted to talk with you about, and realized that maybe it’s because I haven’t done a Random Thoughts post in awhile. Here’s what’s on my mind right at the moment.
… Have You Ever Considered Creating A Family Charter?
A few months ago, I saw a Facebook update from my friend, A’Driane Nieves, where she referenced her Family Charter. A’Driane is a multi-disciplinary artist and activist, and a dedicated mother of three. I always appreciate the thoughts and insights she shares, and I found myself wanting to learn more about her Family Charter — how it works, how it has changed over the years, where the idea came from — that sort of thing. In my curiosity, I emailed her with a list of questions and begged her to write up her thoughts as a blog post. Her response is so good! Here’s what A’Driane says:
“Does it fit the charter?”
That’s the question my husband and I have asked ourselves and each other over the last three years. It’s what has guided every decision large and small as we’ve navigated parenting, job changes, two moves across state lines ( our most recent was cross-country), couples therapy, taking care of our physical and mental health, and even finally getting the dog our boys have been asking for over the last 5 years. It’s our guide for nearly everything we do and it’s what has kept us moving forward even during the most difficult and stressful of situations.
…Have You Ever Considered Creating A Family Charter?Read More »
Living With Kids: Jeannie Stith-Mawhinney
Have you ever said to your college friends: We should all just go live in a big commune together! And our kids will grow up playing together in the common areas, and we’ll hang out and play music in the evenings…
For me, it seems like a lovely daydream, but Jeannie, the mother in today’s living with kids home tour, may have found the next best thing. She and her husband, and their two daughters, live in an Artist’s Community in Ardencroft, Delaware where community events, close relationships, and walks in the woods are all part of every day life. Jeannie’s husband describes it as “Summer Camp for Grownups,” and I’m almost ready to pack my bags and move right in. Welcome, Jeannie!
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