When the Whole Family is at a Similar Stage
When Ralph got home from two years in Colombia, our family took a vacation. First we went to Yosemite, and then we spent a couple of days at Disneyland. On the trip I observed to Ben Blair that it was the first time all the kids had been fully able to participate in the whole trip.
The whole family could hike together without needing assistance. The whole family could swim confidently in Yosemite’s watering holes. The whole family like watching the same movies.
But I especially noticed it at Disneyland. The whole family could ride every ride — meaning everyone was tall enough for every ride, and no one was too young or too old to not enjoy the roller coasters. And because we don’t go to Disneyland very often (that was our second visit as a family), it’s possible that it will be the only time that ever happens!
… Living With Kids: Karey Mackin
[ This home tour was originally published on April 23, 2013. I’m republishing it today because I’m craving Karey’s smart and interesting and compassionate voice. ]
I’ve known Karey Mackin for ages in Internet years. She was one of our original Kirtsy editors back in the day, a speaker at the first Alt Summit the year after that, and someone I simply enjoy reading. Her blog, Mackin Ink, has always been a place to marvel at her family’s experiences living in the Middle East and now Southeast Asia, and a nice assurance that yes, it is a good idea to take your kids on adventures around the world! In short, she’s a friend. Whenever I see corners of her home like this one on Instagram, I ask if she will take us on a tour. I’m so happy she said yes! Enjoy this one, Friends!
… Living With Kids: Joy Thompson
Putting together today’s home tour was a really lovely experience. I get to introduce you to Joy Thompson, an Los Angeles native raising her daughter with her husband, just outside of Pasadena. I get to show you her positively beautiful home, which is spacious and bright and charming. But mostly, I get to read her smart and thoughtful words about parenting, being intentional, slowing down and raising thoughtful kids. I found it genuinely inspiring and it gave me a lot to think about as I go about my normal business of planning meals, folding laundry and getting my kids through homework. Welcome, Joy!
… Living With Kids: Reem Faruqi
Reem is a mom, a wife, a Pakistani immigrant and a children’s book author. Getting to peek inside her home was a lot of fun, and hearing her perspective on letting kids be kids and be messy and sticky and a bit wild was a helpful reminder too. After reading her beautiful words, don’t be surprised to find yourself seeking out her book. I’m so glad you get to meet her today. Hello, Reem! … When You Want to Scream About the College Admission Cheating Scandal
Have you been following the story about the College Admission Cheating Scandal? It makes me frustrated and angry on a dozen levels. Here are a few initial thoughts that have roared in my head over the last 24 hours:
– We suspect this kind of thing goes on, but here it is in all it’s ugly glory and it’s even grosser and more widespread than I imagined.
– The idea that rich people feel this need to hoard privilege. They have plenty of privilege already! Why would they cheat in order to get more?
– That even though only certain people are getting called out for this right now, it’s easy to bet there are hundreds? thousands? of families who have done the same thing, but just haven’t been caught. Perhaps they are feeling very nervous at the moment? At the same time it’s a reminder that rich people can do pretty much whatever they want and there are rarely if ever consequences. (Is it time to eat the rich?)
…When You Want to Scream About the College Admission Cheating ScandalRead More »
Living With Kids: Amber Folkman
It’s always fun to share a tour featuring an adventurous family who can see the world from a different perspective. Say hello to Amber Folkman! Early in their marriage, Amber and her husband moved to the Philippines for his work, but eventually decided they wanted to stay and raise a family there. Amber’s home feels like an amazing tropical get-away — bright light, big windows, and lush tropical plants outside every window. And her design choices are just as inspiring. You’ll love the mix of thrifted pieces, locally crafted baskets and furniture, and bright colors. Enjoy this peak into Amber’s fun, bright and colorful world. Welcome, Amber!
… Super Lice! Stay Calm & Get Combing
This post was originally published in August 2015, but the other day, I received an email from a reader that said:
We’ve got lice raging through our school right now, and I remembered you’d posted about it a few years back. I searched for that post and found so much good, common sense, CALMING advice. Just wanted to suggest you repost it – maybe allow people to weigh in again on any new treatment or prevention products that have actually worked for them.
I think that’s a brilliant idea! So here is the post again. And I hope you’ll chime in with anything that has worked for you and your family. New effective combs? New effective shampoos? Other new treatments? Please share!
——
Have you been reading the crazy headlines about Super Lice? If you’ve missed out, here’s the summary: apparently, head lice in at least 25 states have become resistant to over-the-counter pesticides. Yuck.
But I have to say, I’m reading these reports with a raised eyebrow, because our big run-in with lice was over 6 years ago, and even back then, before “super lice” existed, I had zero luck with chemical responses to the bugs. In fact, if anyone asks me for lice advice, based on my own family’s experience, my response is always:
1) Skip the lice shampoo, it’s not reliable, and it gives false confidence.
2) Get the metal lice combs — the plastic ones don’t do a dang thing.
3) Don’t panic. Focus your energy on physically removing the lice (and the eggs!) from the hair. It takes time, so find time in your day (or evening), or hire a lice helper, or get an older niece or nephew to help.
For those of you in the middle of a lice catastrophe, you’re not alone. No shame, my friends. It can happen to anyone. And it’s totally the worst. Here’s how it went down at our house.
… Living With Kids: Dorothy Matlis
Dorothy’s story is such a powerful one. She lost her husband at a young age, and is now a single mom to their beautiful little boy. Dorothy has such wise words to share about her experiences, and about what she is doing to create a happy home for her family. I am so grateful for her willingness to be vulnerable and talk about grief and sadness and loss. I really appreciate getting to see a bit of her every day life. Welcome, Dorothy.
… Living With Kids: Julia Milton
Julia, her husband, and their three kids have been living in a pre-fabricated home in Phoenix, Arizona for a couple of years — and it has been a wonderful fit. Not only did it allow them get into a home for a much lower price than they would have paid for a similar sized traditionally-built home, but that lower-cost purchase has allowed them to pay down other debt and get into a more secure place financially. Julia’s zest for life, and her love of parenting, come through in every sentence. She’s also very passionate about trusting your instincts, and doing what you know to be right. Welcome, Julia!
… Robots + Manners
For Christmas, the kids gave Ben Blair an Alexa. It’s the first home digital assistant we’ve tried — though, now that I think about it, our iPhones have Siri, so I guess Alexa isn’t technically our first.
We’ve never been big Siri users, but we’ve found we use Alexa quite a bit — mostly for playing music and setting timers.
The kids tease me because I tend to use please and thank you when talking to Alexa. “Hey Alexa, would you please set a timer for 45 mins?” Alexa confirms, and then without missing a beat I might reply, “Thanks Alexa, I appreciate that.” Sometimes I find myself complimenting her. “Thank you Alexa, that’s exactly what I needed. Good job.”
I’m not trying to be obnoxious, it’s just the force of habit — I’ve been saying please and thank you in these types of simple interactions my whole life.
… When Your Kids Sue You For Giving Birth To Them
Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a very un-valentine-sy topic. Last week, a headline caught my eye: Indian man to sue parents for giving birth to him.
You might think it’s an Onion article, but it’s actually for real, reported by the BBC. And I knew it was real the moment I read the headline because I’ve definitely had similar thoughts. Not that I’ve ever thought of suing my parents, just that I’ve thought many times that it’s pretty dang unfair that we bring kids to Earth and they have no say in the matter — no say in where they are raised, how they are raised, who they are raised by. I mean life can be miserable, and I think there are a whole lot of people who probably wouldn’t have opted in if they’d had the choice.
I enjoyed the article and hope you read it. You may be surprised to hear that the man suing his parents actually has a great relationship with them. Here are a couple of excerpts:
… Living With Kids: Leisse Wilcox
As soon as I saw the photos of Leisse Wilcox’s beautiful home outside of Toronto, I knew we would all fall in love with it. Her home has that perfect collected feel. It feels entirely personal and unique but not cluttered or messy at all; just beautifully lived in. And it’s full of keepsakes that you just know have interesting stories behind them.
Then, when I got to know Leisse a bit better, I was further blown away. She’s a single mom, a writer, a life coach — and was recently undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. This post is warm and honest and has great advice about loving yourself and being confident. I’m so excited for you read it. Welcome, Leisse!
… America’s Mood: Eat The Rich
In 2017, I wrote a post talking about wealth and asking if there was such a thing as too rich? At that time, a lot of the comments were pro-rich people:
“I don’t think there is anything bad about being rich. It’s what you do with your money, and where your head is at, that counts.”
“I don’t think [capping wealth] is a fair idea in that some very wealthy people have very large portfolios of work and do a lot of good and invest in a lot of innovative projects.”
“I find it hard to say that there’s anything bad about being rich, because you end up in a philosophical dead-end where you have to justify owning anything at at all! I mean, how do you decide where to draw the line? When do you know whether enough money is enough?”
“I think it’s immoral to assume other people know best how to use your money.”
… Living With Kids: Courtney Adamo
[ Note from Design Mom: Our home tour editor, Josh Bingham, wasn’t available this week, so I’m bringing back a favorite from the archives. This home tour was originally published on October 1st, 2013, and it’s still a favorite. Courtney Adamo, the hostess in the home tour, has since added baby number five to her family, and moved from London to Byron Bay in Australia. ]
There are certain moments during an average everyday when I count my virtual pals among life’s little treasures. If I’m feeling low and worrying about it, one will probably send a note from South Africa or Germany or even Los Angeles to tell me I’m not alone. And if I’m wondering what in the world to do with the Treehouse’s floors, I will be gifted with at least three or four “I’ve been there, Gabrielle, and here’s what we did!” letters. With cute photos, tutorials, and source lists.
Courtney is one of those friends. You may know her as one of the stylish partners behind Babyccino Kids. (Remember when we met Esther?) She’s a lovely mom and entrepreneur living with her husband and four children in London, and someone who sends the sweetest, kindest letters. Oh! And her house is enviably crisp and chic. If I ever decide to paint our floors white, you will know who is responsible! Friends, please meet Courtney. I know you’ll adore her.
… Let’s Discuss Anonymous Social Media Accounts
Have you ever created an anonymous social media account? I haven’t. But after reading this article about how commonplace they are, I wonder if I’m in the minority.
Once a behaviour reserved for “weirdos” on Reddit and Tumblr, it’s become a staple for internet users on essentially every platform. On Twitter it’s your “anon”; on Instagram it’s your “finsta” (fake-Insta); on multiple platforms it’s you and your friends’ “flop”, or simply your “alt”.
Today, the alt account is often seen as an online necessity, something many people deem key to staying sane on the internet. But while the alt-account may now be normal, the reasons for having one are diverse. For some, they are positive and relieving; for others, they’re a tool for dangerous harm.
… Living With Kids: Beth Rotman
I love getting to hear from parents who are in different phases of life. Some of us are in the throws of toddlerhood, some have kids in the tween years, and some of us — like Beth Rotman — are raising older kids. Beth is a mom of three, and with her second daughter getting ready to move out soon, she’ll just have one left at home. She’s got a great perspective on parenting, and her house is warm and cozy and full of textures and layers. It’s really a charmer. Welcome, Beth!
… The Biases You Grow Up With
When I was at my mom’s house over the holidays, there was a 7-generation genealogy chart taped to the wall, and I got such a kick out of studying it. She’s so smart about how she had it designed — she made sure all the still-living people had the biggest photos, so that the grandkids could see themselves easily and picture how they fit in to this big group.
… Living With Kids: Leslie Degenhardt
You’re going to enjoy meeting Leslie this week. She and her husband live in New England with their two kids and an adorable dog. They found a home in their dream neighborhood that needed a ton of love and attention — and with the help of YouTube tutorials and whole lot of hard work, they have turned it into a beautiful home with loads of light and open living spaces.
Leslie and her husband also juggle a tricky schedule so that they both can work while the other one stays home with the kids. She’s got a great perspective on parenting and making things work when the kids are small.
Welcome, Leslie!
… Peace, Justice, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A few thoughts:
1) Dr. King did not call for peace at any cost. He called for non-violent direct action, and he sought to end all injustices that hold up inequality. In his words:
“If peace means a willingness to be exploited economically, dominated politically, humiliated and segregated, I don’t want peace.”
“If peace means being complacently adjusted to a deadening status quo, I don’t want peace.”
“If peace means keeping my mouth shut in the midst of injustice and evil, I don’t want it.”
“Peace is not simply the absence of conflict, but the existence of justice for all people.”
… Cussing For Ladies
Last week, Rep. Rashida Tlaib used a curse word when she referred to the President. It was big news. In fact, by Friday, her cussing had received five times more coverage on cable news than Rep. Steve King’s questioning of why white supremacy is considered offensive. I have a few thoughts:
1) When I read things like that my first instinct is to swear more. It’s clear to me that expecting women to be “ladylike’ often just means we expect them to not speak at all. I think women need to speak more, and if cussing means they get heard, then I say cuss your heart out.
…