Living With Kids: Ashley Whiteside
Can you imagine starting a business with your 2 year old? And not only that, a thriving business? Well, that’s exactly what today’s Living With Kids family did. Ashley is an interior designer who began selling paintings she created with her 2.5 year old daughter. It’s such a charming story and a clever idea. And you’re not going to want to miss Ashley’s gorgeous home. It’s so full of personality, pattern and gorgeous, gorgeous color palettes.
Come say hello to Ashley and her lovely life.
… Do You Carry the Mental Load of Your Family? Does Your Partner Help?
I came across this not-sure-what-to-call-it essay? comic? illustrated op-ed? last week and I keep thinking about it. It’s called You Should’ve Asked, and was translated from French — which I mention because it’s a reminder that the experience described in the essay isn’t confined to my life in the U.S., but may be fairly universal.
I shared it on Facebook and it started some good conversations. I hope you get to read it. It talks about the mental load of household tasks and household management and parenting, and how that mental load is almost entirely borne by women. And that even if women have partners who are willing to help, it doesn’t really relieve the mental burden.
A quote from the essay:
“What our partners are really saying, when they ask us to tell them what needs to be done, is that they refuse to take on their share of the mental load.”
If you get a chance to read it, I’d love to hear if you relate. In our house, I definitely carried most of the mental load as we started out, but Ben Blair has taken on more and more as the years have gone on. And it makes a huge difference. I don’t think I could have built Design Mom if he hadn’t taken on some of that mental work. Though I realize it’s still not totally balanced. I probably feel the imbalance most around birthdays and holidays — the mental work for these continues to fall almost entirely to me. What about you? Living With Kids: Jessica Ries
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. That is a wooden slide leading into the living room of today’s Living With Kids family. Can you imagine?! Jessica, her husband and two kids live on the most gorgeous farm in Minnesota. Not only is their home full of style and charming details, smack dab in the middle of the living space is a treehouse, complete with that slide.
Come say hello to Jessica.
… 3 Meaningful Ideas for Celebrating Memorial Day With Kids
As you know, Memorial Day (which is coming up on Monday) is a day where Americans remember those who died in active military service. You may also know that since Memorial Day often brings people to the cemetery, it’s also become a day where people take some time at the graves of non-military loved ones as well. Two facts you might not know: Memorial Day was called Decoration Day for over a century, and it wasn’t an official holiday until 1971.
Perhaps you’d like to teach your kids about Memorial Day, or do something special to mark the day, but you don’t have any buried loved ones, military or otherwise, to visit nearby. Here are three ideas for celebrating memorial day with kids:
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Living With Kids: Kate Lao Shaffner
I think sometimes the biggest times of growth in our lives come when we shake things up a bit (or a lot!). Today’s Living With Kids story is such a great example of that. Kate and her husband took an opportunity to sell their home, take a new job and move to the other side of the planet with their two small kids. And not only that, they rent an apartment in a building with Kate’s work colleagues, which means she might find herself riding in the elevator after work, arms full of groceries, with her boss.
Kate has a great perspective on being happy with what you have and really making the most of your surroundings. Come say hello…
… The Treehouse: Master Bedroom Remodel with Before & After Photos
Ready to see some before and after photos of our Master Bedroom remodel? We’ve been living in the finished space for over 5 months now, and I am happy to tell you that every single day I wake up and grin about the new space. Not exaggerating. I love it so much. I don’t know if you remember, but it was such a weird space before. Yes, the room had lots of potential — interesting angles, tons of windows + skylights, great views of our little forest, a big balcony and wonderful light — but the layout just didn’t make sense at all.
…The Treehouse: Master Bedroom Remodel with Before & After PhotosRead More »
How Do You Feel About Hiring Out Your Laundry?
If you found yourself with some extra money in the budget for household help, which tasks would you hire out first? Babysitting? Yard care? Housekeeping? Perhaps something specific — like getting your gutters cleaned, or having your exterior windows washed (especially the ones that are upstairs and hard to reach)?
When we first moved to Oakland, we hired a housekeeper/assistant right away. She would come for 10-15 hours per week and would help with all sorts of things, like basic housekeeping, school pick up, or a grocery store run. She might also assist on a video shoot, or tackle a particular non-everyday task like making sure all the burned out lightbulbs in the house were replaced. When the weather was good, she would blow the leaves from our balconies and try to keep the exterior spider webs at bay (a constant battle at The Treehouse).
… Family Photos with a Canoe
Photos by Kristen Loken
We did this photo shoot last year in our backyard, and realized I’d never shared the photos. Such a fun shoot! Click through to see all the images.
…Comparing Yourself To The Perfect Instagram Mother (She Doesn’t Exist)
I was asked to speak at church this Sunday for Mother’s Day, and I’ve been thinking and thinking about what to say. I’ve been reading and making notes and discussing motherhood with friends and trying to sit still to formulate thoughts. So far, my ideas are still pretty rough, but I have found some good stuff in the process.
Remember the discussion we had a few weeks ago about motherhood and identity? I read a really interesting article in the NYTimes this week that extends that conversation. It’s written by a doctor, Alexandra Sacks, and talks about “matrescence”, a word I have never seen before, that means the process of becoming a mother.
…Comparing Yourself To The Perfect Instagram Mother (She Doesn’t Exist)Read More »
A Mother’s Day Brunch
My sister Jordan of Oh Happy Day, invited me and our sister-in-law Liz of Say Yes, to come to the city for a small, happy motherhood celebration with Hallmark.
It was held at Leo’s Oyster Bar — quite possibly the most beautiful restaurant in San Francisco — and Jordan brought thoughtful touches to make it even more spectacular — like fresh peonies that were so perfect I thought they might be fake, pretty little gifts tied up with silk ribbons, and a stack of gorgeous Mother’s Day cards.
…Living With Kids: Audrey Whiteley
What do you think of when you hear the phrase “The Gathering Place?” Doesn’t it feel cozy and welcoming and interesting and exciting all at once? Well that is exactly what you will get on today’s home tour. Meet Audrey, her husband Colby and their three adorable kids. Audrey has managed to create a home that is perfectly kid friendly and kid centric, but that feels grown up and pulled together at the same time.
Plus, Audrey home schools her kids and she has created possibly the most charming classroom ever. You’re definitely going to want to see it. Here’s Audrey.
… How Big Families Approach Storing Their Kids’ Art & School Work
One of the questions I receive most often is about kids and the artwork and school work storage. As parents, what are we supposed to do with the piles of drawings and projects and papers? Even when they’re not in school, my kids are constantly making and creating. Add in school attendance and the amount of stuff coming home can be a bit daunting. Readers want to know: as a mother of six, what is my criteria for saving or throwing it out?
I think this is such a great topic. It’s a daily challenge for many families and there are all sorts of good ways to manage it. This is how we do it:
We clean out backpacks after school each day. I examine homework and art projects. Give lots of positive feedback and then throw almost everything into the recycle bin.
…How Big Families Approach Storing Their Kids’ Art & School WorkRead More »
Living With Kids: Julielle Sears
Today’s living with kids would be worth reading it if it were only beautiful pictures of a house chock full of southern charm and classic design. But beyond the amazing, light-filled rooms, you will find a really touching story about the surprising challenges life can throw at us and the miraculous way that this mom found her way to come out the other side.
We’re so happy today to have Julielle Sears, her husband Ben and her charming son Elijah Rhett (such a cute name!) share their home and their very personal story. Here’s Julielle…
… Living With Kids: Julia Ditto
Don’t you ever just want to get away from it all? Get away from the busy streets, and noisy neighbors and go find your own sanctuary on 17 acres in some of the most beautiful country you’ve ever seen? Then you are going to love this farmhouse home tour. This home is as full of light and colorful and welcoming on the inside as the views are breathtaking on the outside. There is charm and personality in every corner or this place, and when you finish reading, you’ll want to rush out and get wallpaper for your fridge. I’m serious!
Come say hello to Julia Ditto and her family of eight (plus a puppy!).
… Why Do We Make Children Sleep Alone?
I read an interesting opinion piece in the LA Times titled Why Do We Make Children Sleep Alone. In case you don’t get a chance to read it, the basic premise is this:
“For all the tenacity with which we cling to the ideal of solitary childhood sleep, it’s a historical anomaly. This system of sleeping — adults in one room, each child walled off in another — was common practice exactly nowhere before the late 19th century, when it took hold in Europe and North America. ” And, “Our sleep, in other words, has a large carbon footprint. Far from being a backward practice, co-sleeping, or at least sleeping in close proximity, may be a more enlightened, sustainable use of space and natural resources.”
The article struck me, because though I’ve had many conversations over the years about co-sleeping — how long we preferred to keep babies in the same room/same bed, and how we handle siblings sharing a room — I’ve never thought about the history of sleep or considered that there are modern cultures where still today, family members all sleep in one room.
… When’s the Last Time You Chose a New Perfume?
It’s a simple thing, but it totally improved my morning routine: I’m wearing a new scent!
Probably you already have a dozen perfumes to choose from. My teenagers do and I know it’s not uncommon. But until very recently, I’ve been wearing the same scent for about 7 years. When I lived in New York, I became fascinated with the idea of a “signature scent” — of wearing one particular scent so consistently that my kids and my husband and my close friends would come to associate the scent with me. So I searched out a scent that I knew I could love for a long, long time, and have worn it ever since. The scent I chose is by Bond No. 9, and it’s called Eau de New York.
To be clear, I still really love the idea of a signature scent and I still love Eau de New York. But. A couple of weeks ago, I ran out of perfume. My current bottle was empty and I hadn’t made plans to replace it yet. But I wanted to wear a scent, and I remembered that I had a bottle of perfume randomly purchased on a ferry from France to England several years ago. So I pulled it out, and put it on.
And it was so refreshing! I felt like I had just updated my whole wardrobe. I swear, I had a new spring in my step just from putting on a new perfume. I really had no idea a new scent would feel so transformative.
The new scent I’ve been wearing is Lacoste Pour Femme. It’s a light scent and I think I got lucky that I started wearing it at the same time the weather warmed up, because it’s perfect for spring and summer. I’m really loving it. (Speaking of Lacoste, Ben Blair has worn the Lacoste white bottle for ages, and I find it irresistible. So I don’t know why I’m surprised I’m enjoying the women’s version.)
Wearing a new scent has been so delightful, that I’ve been wanting to add more options to my collection. The next two on my wishlist are both recommended by my stylish friend Sara Stratford — she says this one smells like lemon drops (yes, please), and she mentioned Beach, by Bobbi Brown, is (obviously) perfect for summer.
Now I’m curious: How often do you change your perfume? Seasonally? When your current bottle runs out? And do you have a signature scent? Or do you like to switch things up? Or perhaps you don’t wear perfume at all and have an aversion to colognes and scented lotions or candles (during my pregnancies, I couldn’t stand perfumes!). Oh. And if you have a favorite scent at the moment, please share. I’d love to hear/smell what everyone is wearing these days.
P.S. — How to pick out a new perfume. British Schools vs. American Schools
Earlier we discussed Dutch schools and French schools, and today, I thought it would be fun to discuss English schools too.
Let’s start with Jessica Rushing. Jessica is an American mother of 4 kids. Almost two years ago, the whole family moved from Washington D.C. to England, where the kids attend school in that amazing building pictured above. Jessica told me the English schools totally transformed her kids into students who actively look forward to going to school. And she believes it’s all do to one simple thing — not budget related — that any school district could replicate.
Here’s what Jessica says:
… Moving Tips from a Military Wife and Mother of Five
Spring is prime moving season, and my social media feeds are filled with announcements of people who are uprooting their lives and moving away. Some are headed toward a new job or a job relocation. Others are moving across town to a new apartment. Still others are finishing school or getting married and moving to a new home.
How do you feel about moving? I was never particularly troubled by moving — I’m pretty good at focusing on the adventure of it all and am confident that the list of things that must be done, will eventually get done. But I realized that after this last big move (from France to Oakland, almost 4 years ago now), I’m much more resistant to the idea of moving.
…Moving Tips from a Military Wife and Mother of FiveRead More »
Dressing Like An Adult: Have We Forgotten How?
The other day, I read an article called “We’ve forgotten how to dress like adults.” I found it really interesting. The main idea from the article is that fashion designers used to know how to design for and dress older bodies, and that young women looked forward to dressing more sophisticatedly as they got older. But, starting in the 1960s with the baby boomers, there came a worship of youth culture, and the knowledge of designing for older women wasn’t handed down; the new generations of designers don’t have access to those skills anymore. An excerpt:
… Living With Kids: Kendal Gerard
As newlyweds living in 600 square feet, Kendal and her husband decided it was time to buy a house and get more space. So they searched and searched and fell in love…
…with an 800 square foot house. Hah!
Happily, it turns out 800 square feet is ideal for their family. I can tell you’re really going to enjoy this home tour. There are a lot of things you won’t want to miss — including dramatic housing price changes, cross country moves, and a visit to the pet shelter.
…