Living With Kids: Stephanie Starner
Have you ever wished you could just sell your house, store your favorite stuff, and take your life on the road for a year? (Or, let’s be realistic, a week or two would be an adventure, too!) I’m always interested in those who redefine the typical, the expected, the status quo. And Stephanie did just that, living and working in an RV and traveling the US with her sweet family.
Spoiler: My favorite part of this interview is her recounting of the family’s worst moment on the road. It’s a nail-biter, with a lovely, lovely ending. I can’t wait to share it with you. Welcome, Stephanie!
… Are the Dutch Better Parents?
According to this article, Unicef reports that Dutch children are the happiest in the world. It describes a society of balanced parenting, where family is the focus, work weeks average 29 hours, school is stress-free, and teenagers don’t rebel. Two quotes from the article:
“Parents have a healthy attitude towards their kids, seeing them as individuals rather than as extensions of themselves. They understand that achievement doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness, but that happiness can cultivate achievement.”
“The Dutch definitely do not care if little Sophie or Sem is a piano prodigy, a chess champion or an Instagram model famous by the age of two. There are no Baby Einstein DVDs being played, no black-and-white flash cards being used, and definitely no baby enrichment classes or baby gyms, at least not outside the major cities. The Dutch aren’t concerned about their babies being the smartest. They seem to just want them to be the easiest.”
… Confession: What If I’m Okay With Mediocre?
Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui wrote a beautiful essay where she asks, “What if I am mediocre and choose to be at peace with that?” The essay is calming and quiet and gives permission to take things more slowly. I hope you get to read it.
I’d love to discuss it with you, because even though I enjoyed it, as I read, I found myself disagreeing with her concept of mediocre. The life she’s describing is familiar, but I don’t see it as mediocre in any way. It’s a life full of love and of time spent on things she’s passionate about. She describes it as plain, but it’s actually full of envious accomplishments (like a decades-long happy marriage). It seems like almost anyone could be content with her version of a mediocre life.
… Living With Kids: Jason Caldeira
If you’ve ever wondered how often I get an email from a home tour host who calls himself a Design Dad, I now have the answer: once. Jason is witty and stylish, and loves being a husband and parent…oh, I could go on and on about Jason, but I don’t want to keep you too long from his words and unique home!
So here he is: Jason Caldeira, Design Dad. Enjoy this one so much, everyone!
… Sheet Pan Dinner: Chicken Tacos with Tomatillo Salsa
Lindsey sent me this recipe and the next day I had this moment: Did I dream that? One sheet pan dinner + tacos? Could it be true? My family has gobbled up every recipe in the sheet pan dinner series so far, and like pretty much everyone in the world, my family gobbles up tacos too. So this couldn’t be a better fit for us. Are you feeling the same way?
Good. Then let’s jump into the recipe, but before we do, I’m curious, what’s your favorite Mexican food restaurant? And I’m talking about Mexican food in the broadest sense possible — from the totally authentic taco truck downtown through any Americanized version you’ve come across. As for me? We have loads of excellent taquerias in the Oakland, but for after hours, I admit I am very familiar with the late night Taco Bell drive-thru (and I can pretend to not be embarrassed about that since I read this.) If I’m at the mall, I’m also a dedicated fan of Rubio’s fish tacos. How about you? Where do you go for Mexican food?
…Sheet Pan Dinner: Chicken Tacos with Tomatillo SalsaRead More »
Random Thoughts
Well look at that. It’s time for a Random Thoughts post! I try to post one of these once a month, and it’s basically a compilation of whatever is on my mind at the moment. Feel free to share your own random thoughts in the comments.
– Monday afternoons are currently my favorite. That’s when we get our weekly email from Ralph, who is on a mission in Colombia. And sometimes, if we’re online at the same time as him, we can message back and forth and it almost feels like a phone call.
Ralph is now with his third “companion” since he arrived in Colombia. The companion is assigned — they don’t get to pick — and changes up every couple of months or so. Ralph’s first companion was from Mexico, and he was at the end of his mission, so Ralph was his last partner. The second companion was from Argentina, and again, Ralph was the last partner before he finished his mission. Ralph’s third companion is from Panama, and he came to the mission a few weeks after Ralph, so Ralph won’t be sending him home.
… Living With Kids: Kelsey Williams
Kelsey and I first started corresponding back in January. Of 2015, that is! Yes, sometimes home tours take a little longer than a few emails back and forth! But this one is so worth it.
Yes, Kelsey’s tour is well worth the wait, and not just because her interior style is fresh and inspired. If we had done the tour back in 2015, her baby Finch wouldn’t even be mentioned! I’m glad we waited for the little guy.
So please help me welcome Kelsey and her super cute family!
… Living With Kids: Sharon Ellis McCuistian
Sharon not only lives in a unique town, but the story behind her move to it is life-affirming. Life goes on, she tells us. It’s scary and difficult and it often looks nothing like it did the day before, but aren’t we lucky to be living it? Yes.
But this isn’t your average-ordinary Living With Kids tour. It’s more of a Living After the Kids Grew Up and a Lot of Other Things Happened but Here I Am Now tour. Whatever you call it, this is a home tour to warm your heart. Welcome, Sharon.
… Call It A Day: Rachel Abbott
Have you ever wanted to live in France for a year? Or more? Then this post is for you. Rachel lives in the French countryside with 3 young children, and since she loves her life so darn much, she’s taking us around a typical day.
So here she is. And I will warn you now: You’re about to feel some wanderlust!
… I Want Another Baby – What if Your Partner Wants Fewer Kids Than You?
You want another baby but your husband or partner doesn’t? You’re not alone. Kate, a Design Mom reader, emailed me a few days ago with this question: How did you and Ben Blair decide how many kids to have? I am particularly curious because my husband and I are currently in (thankfully not contentious) disagreement about whether or not to want another baby. — Kate
That’s a big question. And I could feel my heart pound as I read it, because it’s a tough situation, and so personal. Plus, I know it’s not uncommon.
Even when you’ve talked about this sort of thing before you have kids, it doesn’t always prevent a disconnect. Maybe you both said we want 2 or 3 kids before you got started. And then, a couple of babies later, one of you feels like the 2-3 should definitely be 3, and the other feels like it should definitely be 2.
…I Want Another Baby – What if Your Partner Wants Fewer Kids Than You?Read More »
Living With Kids: Becky Kimball
Many of you who have been reading blogs since they were invented will remember Becky Kimball. Her blog was once a space of hope and heartbreak for a lot of us, and always, always gorgeous. How lovely that Becky’s work and life still are.
Welcome to my back-in-the-day blogging friend!
… My Favorite Kitchen Things
As you may know, I’ve published over 6500 blog posts here on Design Mom. I rarely go all the way back in the archives, but during the site redesign last year, I needed to, and I discovered two things. First, there are many old posts that are no longer functional — perhaps the photos have disappeared or the text has become irrelevant. So I’ve been taking down old posts as needed while I go through the archives month of month. It’s a sloooow process.
But the second thing I discovered is that there some really killer content in those early years, from lots of different voices, that I had forgotten about and that you probably haven’t seen either. For example, I came across a post written 10 years ago by Adriana Velez, who is both an excellent cook and an excellent writer, where she details her favorite kitchen things. When I saw it, I was curious. Are these picks still her favorites?
So I emailed her the original list and asked her if it was still relevant, and happily, she wrote back with an updated list! So I thought it would be fun to re-publish the post with her new and old picks side-by-side. I think it’s so fun to see how things have changed, and what has stayed the same.
One thing I know that has changed for sure since this list was first posted: Online Shopping. Back in the day, when blogging was still in its infancy, so was online shopping. Amazon Prime wasn’t a thing yet, and internet shopping was still pretty unusual. So when Adriana first wrote her list, she didn’t include product links — because so few of these things were buyable online yet! Isn’t that crazy to think of? Hah!
… Did You Lose Your Identity?
The photo above is my mother, Donna Jean Pack, age 25, holding her first baby, my sister, Rachel Emily Stanley. It was taken in 1969; my sister would have been about 3 months old. My mom, and the whole photo, is so styling, right? The hair, the necktie, the confidence, the lamp, the suede sofa.
I hadn’t seen this photo in years, and when it came across my desk last week, I started thinking about parenthood and identity and how children change us. Did you watch the Grammys a few weeks ago? I read a good article about Adele’s Grammy speech and the unspoken “loss of self” that mothers often experience, and I’d love to discuss it with you.
… Living With Kids: Paige Posladek
This Living With Kids feature was the tour that almost never happened. The photos were prepped, the interview was sent…and then a family sadness took over Paige’s process. Sadness has a way of doing that, doesn’t it?
So I’d check in every so often. July, then September, and then once more in November, but it wasn’t until this month that she was ready to take us on a tour. Better late than never, I say, because Paige – her words and her home – were worth the wait. You’ll see.
… Scheduling Holidays
Pretend holiday dates were flexible, and that we could schedule them at ideal times. Would you make any changes to the current holiday calendar?
… Living With Kids: Lara Casey
I always encourage our home tour guides to be honest. “It’s so worth it,” I write. “You never know who out there you’ll be helping at the perfect moment when they need your words the most.” Well, Lara Casey took me up on my plea for honesty. You will be moved and encouraged and, best yet, motivated after spending time with her thoughts.
I’m so happy to share her with you today. Welcome, Lara!
… What to Wear to Middle School & High School
Earlier, I shared What to Wear to Elementary School, featuring my 5th grader and 1st grader. And now, I’m sharing What to Wear to Middle School and High School. Oscar is in 6th grade, his first year at middle school, and Olive is in 9th grade, her first year at high school.
Oscar’s school actually has a required uniform, so some of what you’re seeing in these photos are weekend clothes. But the uniform is actually pretty flexible and makes room for quite a few options. The uniform requirements are this: 1) Any khaki colored bottom (shorts, pants or skirt). In Oscar’s case, that means trousers, cords, cargo pants, and even a lined khaki “city jogger”. 2) Tops need to be either navy or white and have a collar. For Oscar, that means mostly button downs and polo shirts with long and short sleeves. 3) Top layers — like sweaters or hoodies — can be anything at all. Which makes this uniform very adaptable.
This is our first school uniform experience. So far, I like it, and I think Oscar mostly does too. Though with good grades, he can earn free-dress days on Fridays, and he thinks that’s wonderful too. Have you ever had school uniform requirements? If yes, what was your experience like?
… What to Wear to Elementary School
Most years, when August rolls around, we do all our back to school shopping. I like to go on one-on-one shopping dates with each child. Before we head out, we go through their closet. We see what still fits, we pack up items to donate (or save for a younger sibling), and we make a basic shopping list — a typical list might include socks, a new pair of jeans, a hoodie, and 2 tops. On our date, we pick out something specific to wear for the first day of school, and do our best to find the basics on our shopping list.
But this last August was crazier than usual. We didn’t get home from France until August 20th. Then school started a couple of days later. And suddenly, Ralph and Maude were both moving out of the country!
So school shopping didn’t really happen. Knowing we wouldn’t have time for real dates, we picked out first day of school outfits for Betty & June while we were being tourists in France. And then, they simply made due with what was in their closet until we had time to shop. Which didn’t really happen until the holiday break! Happily, with two older sisters, they both had plenty of hand-me-downs to help them along.
We took these photos last month (in January). Betty is in 5th grade this year. June is in 1st grade. And this post is all about what to wear to elementary school.
… Living With Kids: Lauren Dahl
It’s so fitting that I share Lauren with you on Valentine’s Day because she is absolutely filled with love for her life. Plus, I have a real soft spot in my heart for public school art teachers, don’t you?
And if I needed another reason to adore her, I found this on her blog’s About Me page: “If you are here looking for design services or home portrait watercolors, I no longer offer those things. Don’t worry; you’re not missing out! I truly couldn’t quite figure it out. I may have a designer’s mind, but there were parts of business running where I failed. My heart just isn’t there anymore, and someone else will certainly suit you better. I now only commit to projects that I’m passionate about, and let me tell you what a wonderful headspace to be in!” What a genuine statement. I love it.
Come and meet her. This is a super cute tour!
… Random Thoughts
Feel’s like a good day for a Random Thoughts post! I try to post one of these once a month, and it’s basically a compilation of whatever is on my mind at the moment. Feel free to share your own random thoughts in the comments.
– Saturday’s school auction was terrific! Tons of support from the school community and lots of really good prizes. We won three items: 1) 8 movie tickets. 2) A gorgeous skateboard made by a 9 year old at our school. 3) Members of the Dad’s Club will come to our house to work for 3 hours.
Aren’t those fantastic prizes? Other fun ones we either bid on or thought about: Principal for a Day, Warrior’s Tickets, $1200 worth of Plumbing from a father at our school (to be used on one big project), Last year, our favorite win was Pie for A Year. Each month, we would get a seasonal homemade pie. It was heavenly! It wasn’t offered again this year or you know we would have been all over it. : )
A little more on the skateboard, you can check them out at RogueMade510 on Instagram. Truly so impressive! I can hardly believe it was really made by a 4th grader! The board we won (pictured here) is stunning. Such a treasure. On each board, he includes a tag that tell you what types of woods he used to make it, and then he signs it in his little 9-year-old scrawl. The best!
– I’m curious. Tell me about your wake up routine. What time do you get up? Do you use an alarm? Do you press the snooze button? Wake up with the sun? If you’re getting older, do you find you crave sleep less?
As for me, I don’t set an alarm unless I’m sleeping on my own. I rely on Ben Blair to set the alarm — he uses the alarm on his phone. The alarm is set for 6:00, but I usually sleep in till 6:20/6:30. I detest getting up that early. I am not a morning person. But, the good news is, it’s definitely been easier to get up early over the last year. I’m assuming it’s age related, and I’ll take it!
– Books on my mind right this minute: I just ordered Nail It Then Scale It. There’s a new Alt Summit project I want to work on, and I want to get it right from the beginning. I’ve heard this book offers the best guidance on the topic, so I’m excited to read it and get going.
Another one is The Locust Effect, which I mentioned in last week’s Facebook Live Broadcast. This has almost become Ben’s Bible as far as social justice and social causes are concerned, and we discuss it a lot. So I really need to read it!
A third one I’m thinking of is There Is No Good Card for This. It’s recently out and it was sent to me by Emily McDowell, who did the illustrations. (Do you remember Emily’s series of books quotes here on Design Mom?) This book is so helpful. If you feel like you never have the right words to say when something awful happens to a friend or loved one, this book can be your guide.
– It’s been super rainy in California, which is mostly really great news because our water supplies have been hit so hard by the drought. (That said, we’re all watching the Oroville Dam with trepidation. 188,000 people evacuated, and more rain coming this week.)
We had a few non-rainy days over the weekend and we took the opportunity to do some yard work. We don’t have a real fall season here in Oakland, and we end up with dropping leaves year round, but especially in January and February. It felt so good to do rake and pile up and bag leaves! We also worked on windows (we have a lot of windows, so this is an ongoing job), and de-cobwebbed the exterior (also an ongoing job).
I love working in the yard. I get so much satisfaction out of it. Maybe because I do it in such small doses? Every time I have a good yard day, I think: I’m going to make this a daily habit! One hour a day, all week long! But alas, that never actually happens. I can easily picture myself gardening a lot in retirement.
– I re-watched the Twilight Saga movies over the last week. The first one is on Netflix, and then I rented the rest from Amazon. I know the Twilight books (and movies) always get a lot of hate, but I confess, I enjoy them. The story is solid. And I think the movies are well-cast and well-acted. I’ve always wanted to hear Stephenie Meyer, the author, speak. I wonder if she would come to Alt Summit?
Do you have strong Twilight opinions? Love it? Hate it? Feel meh about it?
– How are you feeling about Valentine’s Day tomorrow? Ben Blair and I are very low-key about it, so I think of it as mostly a holiday for the kids. Today, after school, I’ll help the kids prep their classroom valentines. I’m trying to encourage June to send these donut ones. So easy! We like to have a little Valentine Breakfast for the kids as well. I think this is the first valentine’s day without our 2 oldest kids. So strange! Need more Valentine ideas? Here you go.
I think that’s it for now. Please feel free to respond to anything here, or bring up your own topic. I always love hearing what’s on your minds!
P.S. — I post my random thoughts each month. You can find them all here.