Note from Design Mom: Two years ago, I tried something new. I wrote a Twitter thread for the first time. That first thread is about abortion, irresponsible ejaculations, why politicians who claim to care about abortion don’t really care, and how I think we need to approach the topic of abortion differently. I’m republishing it here today to mark the anniversary (and because I know many of you don’t use Twitter).
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I’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I’ve been listening to men grandstand about women’s reproductive rights, and I’m convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here’s why…
If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies. No for real, they are. Perhaps you are thinking: IT TAKES TWO! And yes, it does take two for _intentional_ pregnancies.
But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me walk you through it. Let’s start with this: women’s eggs are only fertile about 2 days each month. And that’s for a limited number of years.
That makes 24 days a year a women’s egg might get fertilized. But men can cause pregnancy 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year.
And though their sperm gets crappier as they age, men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty till death. So just starting with basic biology + the calendar it’s easy to see men are the issue here.
But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birth control? If a women can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can get birth control, right? Great questions.
Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women are ridiculously harmful. So ridiculous, that when an oral contraception for men was created, it wasn’t approved…
… because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about 1/3 as long as the known side effects for women’s oral contraception.
There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out that as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
But good news, Men: Even with the horrible side effects, women are still very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately it’s harder to get than it should be. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment and a prescription. It’s not free, and often not cheap.
In fact there are many people trying to make it more expensive by fighting to make sure insurance companies refuse to cover it. Oral contraceptives for women can’t be acquired easily, or at the last minute. And they don’t work instantly.
If we’re talking about the pill, it requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. And again, the side effects can be brutal. I’M STILL GRATEFUL FOR IT PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT AWAY.
I’m just saying women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy. In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men, meaning condoms. Condoms are readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective, and work on demand, instantly.
Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. Amazing! They are so much easier than birth control options for women. As a bonus, in general, women love when men use condoms. They keep us from getting STDs, they don’t lessen our pleasure during sex or prevent us from climaxing.
And the best part? Clean up is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as your jizz drips down our legs. So why in the world are there ever unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?
Oh. I remember. Men don’t love condoms. In fact, men frequently pressure women to have sex without a condom. And it’s not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex, without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro-tip: That’s assault.)
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Good question. Apparently it’s because for the minutes they are penetrating their partner, having no condom on gives the experience more pleasure.
So… there are men willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career, so that they can experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure? Is that for real? Yes. Yes it is.
What are we talking about here pleasure-wise? If there’s a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives, a back-scratch falling at 5, and an orgasm without a condom being a 10, where would sex with a condom fall? Like a 7 or 8?
So it’s not like sex with a condom is not pleasurable, it’s just not as pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10. Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk by having non-condom sex, in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure.
Now keep in mind, for the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control built right in, called the pull out. It’s not perfect, and it’s a favorite joke, but according to experts, when done correctly, it is also 96% effective.
So surely, we can expect men who aren’t wearing a condom to at least learn to pull out correctly and pull out every time they have sex, right?
Nope.
And why not?
Well, again, apparently it’s slightly more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. So men are willing to risk the life, health and well-being of women, in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for like 5 seconds during orgasm.
It’s mind-boggling and disturbing when you realize that’s the choice men are making. And honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth that their pleasure is of utmost importance in the world. (We’ve also trained them to dis-associate sex and pregnancy.)
While we’re here, let’s talk a bit more about pleasure and biology. Did you know that (with few exceptions) a man can’t get a woman pregnant without having an orgasm? Which means that we can conclude getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men.
But did you further know that men can get a woman pregnant without her feeling any pleasure at all? In fact, it’s totally possible for a man to impregnate a woman even while causing her excruciating pain, trauma or horror.
In contrast, a woman can have non-stop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists not for creating new babies, but simply for pleasure.
No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant. Rule of thumb: Pregnancies can only happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies can only happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
What this means is a women can be the sluttliest slut in the entire world who loves having orgasms all day long and all night long and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly.
Women enjoying sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men enjoying sex and having irresponsible ejaculations is what causes unwanted pregnancies and abortion.
Let’s talk more about responsibility. Men often don’t know, and don’t ask, and don’t think to ask, if they’ve caused a pregnancy. They may never think of it, or associate sex with making babies at all. Why? Because there are 0 consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies.
If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation.
If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation, or that there’s now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA.
If the woman does tell him that he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him, is that he may need to pay child support. But our current child support system is well-known to be a joke.
Only 61% of men (or women) who are legally required to pay it, do. With little or no repercussions. In lots of states, their credit isn’t even affected. So, many men keep going as is, causing unwanted pregnancies with irresponsible ejaculations and never giving it thought.
When the topic of abortion comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. And never once consider the man who caused the unwanted pregnancy.
If you’re not holding men responsible for unwanted pregnancies, then you are wasting your time.
Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop trying to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply HOLD MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
What would that look like? What if there was a real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy? What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseating, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering…
… as forcing a woman to go through a 9-month unwanted pregnancy?
In my experience, men really like their testicles. If irresponsible ejaculations were putting their balls at risk, they would stop being irresponsible. Does castration seem like a cruel and unusual punishment? Definitely.
But is it worse than forcing 500,000 women a year to puke daily for months, gain 40 pounds, and then rip their bodies apart in childbirth? Is a handful of castrations worse than women dying during forced pregnancy and childbirth?
Put a castration law on the books, implement the law, let the media tell the story, and in 3 months or less, tada! abortions will have virtually disappeared. Can you picture it? No more abortions in less than 3 months, without ever trying to outlaw them. Amazing.
For those of you who consider abortion to be murder, wouldn’t you be on board with having a handful of men castrated, if it prevented 500,000 murders each year?
And if not, is that because you actually care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality, than you do about reducing or eliminating abortions? (That’s a rhetorical question.)
Hey, you can even have the men who will be castrated bank their sperm before it happens — just in case they want to responsibly have kids some day.
Can’t wrap your head around a physical punishment for men? Even though you seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women? Okay. Then how about this prevention idea: At the onset of puberty, all males in the U.S. could be required by law to get a vasectomy.
Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a doctor’s exam for a woman getting a birth control prescription. There is some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects.
(So much better than The Pill, which is taken by millions of women in our country, the side effects of which are well known and can be brutal.)
If/when the male becomes a responsible adult, and perhaps finds a mate, if they want to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed, and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. And each male can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case.
It’s not that wild of an idea. 80% of males in the U.S. are circumcised, most as babies. And that’s not reversible.
Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ones. Go ahead and suggest your own ideas. My point is that it’s nonsense to focus on women if you’re trying to get rid of abortions. Abortion is the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy.
If you want to stop abortions, you need to prevent the “disease” – meaning, unwanted pregnancies. And the only way to do that, is by focusing on men, because: MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES. Or. IRRESPONSIBLE EJACULATIONS BY MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES.
If you’re a man, what would the consequence need to be for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? Would it be money related? Maybe a loss of rights or freedoms? Physical pain?
Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
Are you someone who learns better with analogies? Let’s try this one: Think of another great pleasure in life, let’s say food. Think of your favorite meal, dessert, or drink.
What if you found out that every time you indulge in that favorite food you risked causing great physical and mental pain for someone you know intimately. You might not cause any pain, but it’s a real risk.
Well, you’d probably be sad, but never indulge in that food again, right? Not worth the risk!
And then, what if you further found out, there was a simple thing you could do before you ate that favorite food, and it would eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone else. Which is great news!
But the simple thing you need to do makes the experience of eating the food slightly less pleasurable. To be clear, it would still be very pleasurable, but slightly less so. Like maybe you have to eat the food with a fork or spoon that you don’t particularly like.
Would you be willing to do that simple thing, and eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone you know intimately, every single time you ate your favorite food?
OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
Condoms (or even pulling out) is that simple thing. Don’t put women at risk. Don’t choose to maximize your own pleasure if it risks causing women pain.
Men mostly run our government. Men mostly make the laws. And men could eliminate abortions in three months or less without ever touching an abortion law or evening mentioning women.
In summary: STOP TRYING TO CONTROL WOMEN’S BODIES AND SEXUALITY. UNWANTED PREGNANCIES ARE CAUSED BY MEN.
The end.
——
Well. There it is. My first Twitter thread. I actually had this written for several months before I published it, and was hesitant to share it. Not sure why. But hearing so many men talking about women’s reproductive rights (related to the Kavanaugh hearings), brought me to hit publish. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. What could we do as a society to have men shoulder the burden of preventing unwanted pregnancies?
Just saw that this made it to Huff Post. Way to go, Gabby!
The sperm that is in part of the lubrication during excitement of the male is quite enough to get a woman pregnant without ejaculation.
Pulling out is very risky.
What about a woman’s choice for abortion for a baby that cannot live outside the wound ie. hypoplastic heart or anacephalic?
I’ve been a reader for ages, long before I became a mother, but always as a lurker. Your book is in my living room, for display and reference. I was so thrilled as my childless friends retweeted you, as I discussed your thread at a 2 year old’s birthday party this weekend (brought up by others!) This is just so wonderful. Thank you.
You are right on in every word, sentence and paragraph! I’m sharing this with my tribe so that future men will know the whole truth about their responsibility to women. This should be adopted into schools health curriculum. Thank you!!
I’m sorry but I came across your twitter rant on abortion and I just have to say I wholeheartedly disagree with the way that you are framing things. I understand your point of view but I view it as man bashing and to me that’s as bad as the way that bad men treat women. There are responsible men out there – who take care of their women – yes, sometimes they do get them pregnant -but ordering vascetomies all around for everyone is very extreme. Men and women are complimentary to one another – tearing each other down is not the way to go. Otherwise everyone will be at each other’s throats for things and babies will only be created in test tubes by robots. Making men or women for that matter out to be the enemy is not the answer.
Thank you.
This is so well written. I whole heartedly agree with all of this. I will share this with my grown children, friends and family. Well said!
This is amazing and I can understand why it felt hard to publish. It feels radical to shift the abortion debate from women when it’s actually so obvious that the problem lies not with women making moral decision, but by the irresponsibility of men- way to use your voice and platform. BRAVO!
What a concept! It’s so foreign to most it can’t even be comprehended. Our society has been so conditioned with hearing the same thing over and over again – about women, pregnancies, abstinence, bc, abortion etc.. A man is capable of impregnating a woman 365 days a year (several times in one day if he chooses) and yet a woman is capable of becoming pregnant ONLY about 2-3 days in a month! yet all of the responsibility and lack of common sense health care for her (since its her body and she’s responsible for it) is denied or difficult to achieve. I hope your article continues to be shared and shared and shared!
As a man who doesn’t want children, I want to say that I loved the article. It IS about responsibility. Two people have to want a child, together. Abortion should be there to protect woman who have to suffer the circumstances of unwanted pregnancy, and men should provide support and understanding when they have not been able to wear condoms !
Incredibly well reasoned and stated. Thank you!
Brilliant. I hope this keeps showing up everywhere.
I am a man. I ALWAYS USE CONDOMS. Precisely because I don’t want to get anybody pregnant. Reducing chance of disease and more stamina are also benefits.
Many men I know don’t like to wear them. They say it reduces sensation. I have a friend that says he can’t cum when he wears them.
I have a theory. I am not circumcised. I am the way God made me, foreskin and all. That foreskin allows me to have more sexual pleasure with a condom on than my male friends that are snipped. Perhaps what we need to do is abolish circumcision. ( It’s a barbaric custom down out of religious tradition to unconsenting minors anyway. )
Women should have the votes on: whether men can get treatment for prostate issues, ED, and implants- that are paid for by Medicare. I vote No on last. Ridiculous.
Traditional masculinity says that it is a man’s job to protect women but the feminist movement doesn’t like that. So you can’t really blame men for not protecting women when feminism doesn’t want men to protect women. If Gabby is advocating for sexuality to be reinvested with values that give it meaning and purpose, wherein sexual relations are more than just a physical exchange (an easy inference to make from this post), then I am right by her side.
I think I understand where you’re coming from, but the feminist movement is relatively new in the history of our country (and the world). Prior to feminism, I can’t think of common examples of “men wanting to protect women” that extended to being willing to wear a condom or get a vasectomy. I don’t think there has ever been much accountability for irresponsible ejaculations.
Marriage could be thought of as a common and historical example of protection for women; not against unwanted pregnancy but against the vulnerability (greater risk) women have when it comes to sex and pregnancy. I am probably treading outside the scope of your post but it’s relevant. I think this is one reason marriage is viewed so sacredly by many.
I’ve been reading Cordelia Fine’s Testosterone Rex, and it occurred to me that the social costs of preventing the unplanned pregnancies are salient. I don’t think you covered this aspect in your essay (sorry if you did, and I missed/forgot it): Men know when they are going to ejaculate, this means they can *have sex* and still prevent pregnancy pretty reliably. What are the *social* costs of pulling out/demanding a condom? But a women doesn’t know when the man will ejaculate, and even if she did, it could be impractical to force a pull-out. So she has to *deny sex* all together to reliably prevent unplanned pregnancy. But what are the social costs to her for doing that? How do they compare to the man’s social costs? Thank you so much for writing your essay!!! (Also, if you are interested in Cordelia Fine’s work, she will be speaking in San Jose in October.)
I love these thoughts. So good.
I’ve translated your great twitter thread to Portuguese. Hope you don’t mind that your voice will be heard by many more women!
Wow! Thank you.
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN HARDLY BREATHE. YES, YES, AND YES, AND ALL CAPS BECAUSE OMG THIS IS SPOT ON!
THANK YOU!!!!!
You know…we can go one step further and say that irresponsible ejaculation could be responsible for unwanted marriages too and/or the high rate of divorce and/or the decline of the family unit.
BTW: i absolutely love that phrase Irresponsible ejaculation. I’m going to use it in any conversation that I can. LOL
This is perfect. At last something true and nicely argumented.
I love your brain.
Incredible. Thought provoking. Motivating. Thank you for writing this and providing men and women alike a real, fresh perspective on the incredibly important issue of abortion and more so, women’s rights to control their own bodies.
Thank you.
I. Fucking. Love. You. Can you just please run for President?! This is just brilliant. Best part is how you can put aside you personal religious feelings to speak the truth. THIS is why I love your blog!!!
Laurie, as a committed Mormon myself, I’d like to let you know that she is not putting her personal religious feelings aside. There is nothing in what she wrote that is in conflict with LDS teachings–men are expected to be responsible!
Good job Gabby! I’ve sent a link to this post to my daughters, sons and to friends! It’s amazing!!
Thank you, Gabby, for posting this thread and reframing this debate in a way that gets people talking, and thinking, in ways they hadn’t before. You’ve started a very important conversation that I believe can be a catalyst for positive change. Thank you. You’re one of my new heroes. :-)
PREACH!!!
Thank you for this, truly, Really opened my eyes, though I was so angry I haven’t been able to read it all yet.
Just imagining if we weren’t all knotted up over the so-called abortion issue and put our energy toward: free quality childcare and school for all; healthcare that is healing and nurturing for all; eldercare with respect and joy. What if what so many women care about and do with their lives shaped our national priorities?
You mentioned that you are Mormon. The Mormon church teaches celibacy before marriage, and faithfulness to your spouse after marriage. God has already solved the problem of most unwanted pregnancies, along with a host of other problems such as STD’s. If all people were celibate before marriage, and faithful to only one partner after marriage, not only would unwanted pregnancies be reduced, but abortions would be drastically reduced as well. STD’s would be wiped out in a generation or two. Can you imagine a world without AIDS. But alas, God is evil and all the troubles of the world are caused by religion so nobody listens (sarcasm.)
I hear you. Celibacy before marriage and fidelity within marriage have been taught for eons. Sometimes required by law. With this much recorded history behind us, I think we can all agree that it works on paper but not always in practice. And of course, it’s against my religion to force someone else to live the tenants of my religion.
“We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all people the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.”
Sooo… A married man and woman can’t conceive an unwanted child? I have two friends who would disagree with you.
Joan, you are missing the point. If you are married or not, the man still has control of where his sperm ends up. Obviously a married man can use a condom or pull out if the couple doesn’t want a child!
Wow. Thank you. Amazing.
Amazing. Truly.
My goodness thank you. Well spoken.
someone who has as many kids as you do, talking about ALL THE IRRESPONSIBLE EJACULATION cracks me up
Hahaha! Believe it or not, all 6 pregnancies were intentional, with birth-control-and-horrible-side-effects in between. : )
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you have my vote if you ever wanted to run for office. This is powerful, and I love how you use your position and voice for such important topics. It would be very easy for you not to do so. I can only imagine the trolls you’re having to deal with, so please know you have a whole tribe of readers supporting you!
PLEASE RUN FOR OFFICE ASAP – kay, thanks! (we’ve been promoting those proposed fixes for yearssss – but you made them feel not completely out of reach…if that makes sense). Thanks for sharing such an eloquently-written summary – I’ll be forcing my intro to cultural geography students read/discuss/analyze this one, for sure! :)
I actually think the thread is brilliant. What I think some fail to see that this thread was not written for couples who are in a loving relationship that are married and have made their decision on what form of birth control to use to prevent pregnancy. I also did not feel that you were bashing men nor did I feel you were saying that being pregnant was a prison sentence: however, I know you were prepared for all of these types of comments when you wrote the thread. Having used the pill I can testify to unwanted side effects that are less than pleasant and I also tried using a diaphragm which lead to multiple painful infections. I am grateful that my spouse cared more about me and my health than his perceived amount of pleasure. I can also testify to the fact that IUDs are not a woman’s answer to this problem. My mother when she was in her early 30’s married but not wanting to get pregnant choose to use an IUD. She not only got pregnant while using it but she almost died because the IUD caused a tubal pregnancy. She almost died. She lost her reproductive organs and was not able to have any more children. Let’s not talk about what losing your reproductive organs does to you. She went into menopause at the age of 32. She still suffers from the effects. The comment angers me that a woman should just keep her legs shut. How does a woman do that when being raped. Well done!
Amen! Thank you for being brave and posting.
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My friend sent me the Twitter feed and I read it to my husband and we laughed and laughed. It was Brilliant. I loved all the people arguing about how rediculous it was to lay all the blame on one gender and I kept waiting for the light bulb to go off over their head 😂
Right? How dare I say men are 100% responsible? *ignoring status quo where women have been held 100% responsible for centuries*
Amen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Just a note here that condoms don’t protect from all STDs and sterilizations, though close are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Kind of a Pyrrhic victory though. Don’t you all want a little more from a relationship? I would rather have someone who freely chooses faithfulness (taking care of STDs) and is open to caring for the lives we might create.
“open to caring for the lives we might create”
In my case that would be A LOT of kids. I’m grateful for birth control.
Gabrielle, hi ! Thanks for the green light to translate your article into Spanish. I’ve posted on different spanish-speaking platforms. Your powerful message needs to be spread all over ! As you requested, I’m including the link to your blog. Thank you, again.
I tried to post the translation here but I’m not allowed. I will send it to you via IM on facebok
Thank you!
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Irresponsible ejaculations account for 100% of unwanted pregnancies.
The author’s post is brilliant in many ways, and I will be using it in the counseling I do with men. Our overly-sexualized society here in the U.S. does wrongly place a premium on men’s pleasure, and this blog shines a piercing light upon the insanity, hypocrisy, and double-standards of this societal emphasis.
This is incredible. Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️👍
I’m a doctor, & strongly believe in women’s rights to have equal opportunity, while also being DIFFERENT, and being proud to be women, & I still hadn’t thought of some of these things. Amazing what acculturation can do. Bravo, lady!! This is amazing.
Love it you make a good point nobody seems to really talk about, instead of centering the problem on women we have the responsible in front of us all the time but we seem to be blind about it, the funny thing is, that most man who are irresponsibly seems to get some kind of redemption calling them self as pro-life, but like you say they don’t even pay for child support.
Brilliant thread. The obvious answer to me is education!!! Making sure everybody understands reproductive process.
I think I love you, and I’ve never heard of you before a friend shared your post with me. This is such a brilliant, powerful thread, and one of the best arguments I’ve ever read. Puts into words what I’ve always felt at my heart but could never quite explain.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
What about the women who poke holes in condoms or lie about birth control? Are they even a little responsible for an unwanted pregnancy? Is a pregnancy only considered unwanted if the owner of the uterus says so? I agree with many of your points, but to portray men as the only beings capable of using sex manipulatively is wrong. Just as women been “coerced” into unprotected sex, men have been seduced into it as well. “Locking down” a wealthy man by getting pregnant is totally a thing-a gross thing, that women do. Unwanted pregnancies are caused by selfish people who don’t respect sex, themselves, or their partners. I’d just love to see some passion behind the idea that we as humans should have sex with people we care for. Men AND women can be idiots, but I do believe less casual sex equals less abortions.
I’m not sure the argument is men are solely responsible for causing unwanted pregnancy. The argument is that men can prevent pregnancy much easier, safer and cheaper than women. Thus, it makes sense to shift the primary user of birth control from women to men. I made this decision for the first two reasons. I’m here to say it wasn’t that much of a sacrifice.
If a woman poked holes in a condom to get pregnant on purpose she’s likely not doing it just to get an abortion so I think you’re missing the point.
100% in agreement with you, A Brown.