Let’s Discuss Anonymous Social Media Accounts
Have you ever created an anonymous social media account? I haven’t. But after reading this article about how commonplace they are, I wonder if I’m in the minority.
Once a behaviour reserved for “weirdos” on Reddit and Tumblr, it’s become a staple for internet users on essentially every platform. On Twitter it’s your “anon”; on Instagram it’s your “finsta” (fake-Insta); on multiple platforms it’s you and your friends’ “flop”, or simply your “alt”.
Today, the alt account is often seen as an online necessity, something many people deem key to staying sane on the internet. But while the alt-account may now be normal, the reasons for having one are diverse. For some, they are positive and relieving; for others, they’re a tool for dangerous harm.
… Living With Kids: Beth Rotman
I love getting to hear from parents who are in different phases of life. Some of us are in the throws of toddlerhood, some have kids in the tween years, and some of us — like Beth Rotman — are raising older kids. Beth is a mom of three, and with her second daughter getting ready to move out soon, she’ll just have one left at home. She’s got a great perspective on parenting, and her house is warm and cozy and full of textures and layers. It’s really a charmer. Welcome, Beth!
… The Biases You Grow Up With
When I was at my mom’s house over the holidays, there was a 7-generation genealogy chart taped to the wall, and I got such a kick out of studying it. She’s so smart about how she had it designed — she made sure all the still-living people had the biggest photos, so that the grandkids could see themselves easily and picture how they fit in to this big group.
… Living With Kids: Leslie Degenhardt
You’re going to enjoy meeting Leslie this week. She and her husband live in New England with their two kids and an adorable dog. They found a home in their dream neighborhood that needed a ton of love and attention — and with the help of YouTube tutorials and whole lot of hard work, they have turned it into a beautiful home with loads of light and open living spaces.
Leslie and her husband also juggle a tricky schedule so that they both can work while the other one stays home with the kids. She’s got a great perspective on parenting and making things work when the kids are small.
Welcome, Leslie!
… Peace, Justice, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A few thoughts:
1) Dr. King did not call for peace at any cost. He called for non-violent direct action, and he sought to end all injustices that hold up inequality. In his words:
“If peace means a willingness to be exploited economically, dominated politically, humiliated and segregated, I don’t want peace.”
“If peace means being complacently adjusted to a deadening status quo, I don’t want peace.”
“If peace means keeping my mouth shut in the midst of injustice and evil, I don’t want it.”
“Peace is not simply the absence of conflict, but the existence of justice for all people.”
… Cussing For Ladies
Last week, Rep. Rashida Tlaib used a curse word when she referred to the President. It was big news. In fact, by Friday, her cussing had received five times more coverage on cable news than Rep. Steve King’s questioning of why white supremacy is considered offensive. I have a few thoughts:
1) When I read things like that my first instinct is to swear more. It’s clear to me that expecting women to be “ladylike’ often just means we expect them to not speak at all. I think women need to speak more, and if cussing means they get heard, then I say cuss your heart out.
… Have You Ever Heard of HSDD?
A couple of years ago at a conference, I met Cindy Eckert when I moderated a panel she was on. I could not have been more impressed. At one point in her life, she comprehended the huge disparity between men and women when it comes to getting treatment for sexual dysfunction. She set out to shed light on this problem, and to help affected women find treatment. The website Right To Desire focuses on this topic, and over the next few months, I’ll be working with them to host discussions about sexual dysfunction in women, and to help spread the word about the medical condition behind it.
Let’s start with the stat in the graphic above. One in ten women suffer from HSDD, which stands for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Don’t confuse HYPO with HYPER. Hyper means too much, and hypo means too little. We’re talking about hypo — women who have little to no sexual desire.
HSDD is a defined medical condition. It’s the most common form of sexual dysfunction in women, and it’s been recognized in medical communities for nearly half a century. But it’s an easy bet that you’ve probably never heard of it. I certainly hadn’t. Because of our society’s very longstanding hangups around women’s sexuality, this common condition isn’t known generally, doesn’t get talked about, and isn’t treated. Female sexual dysfunction is approached as taboo, or worse, trivialized — and society reinforces those ideas in a thousand ways big and small.
… Living With Kids: Andrea Khan
Have you thought that 2019 was the year you would try and travel more? I’ve done a few longish trips with my kids now that they’re older, but it always feels so intimidating. Will they behave? Will they have fun? Is it worth it? I’m so excited for you to meet Andrea Khan. Her love of travel inspired her to start a travel website all about traveling with kids called “The Family Backpack.” She’s got some great advice and a beautiful home to boot. Welcome, Andrea!!
… Report From Our Lake Tahoe Family Retreat
This post is a partnership with Vacasa — managing more than 10,600 vacation rentals across 23 U.S. states and 16 countries.
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Between Christmas and New Year’s we took the whole family to stunning Lake Tahoe for a few days. We had two goals: 1) Get a dose of winter and snow. And 2) Get time with the kids that wasn’t being interrupted by calls to hang out with friends or babysitting jobs or the kind of last-minute activities that come up when we’re home.
(Did I mention how stunning Lake Tahoe is? It really is remarkable — in any season.)
… Is Mindfulness a Trend? Or Here to Stay?
Did you see this article? In the last 5 years, there’s been a 55% increase in the number of Americans doing yoga, and a 350% increase in the number of Americans meditating. 350%! In just five years! The article starts out with this:
“Yoga and meditation, two ancient practices, are now officially the most popular alternative health approaches in the United States, each used by around 35 million adults.”
Then it goes into the benefits of these practices — with research and data to back up the claims. For example:
“A 2014 meta-analysis by Johns Hopkins researchers for the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality found that meditation, and in particular mindfulness, can have a role in treating depression, anxiety, and pain in adults — as much as medications but with no side effects.”
… Living With Kids: Terry Hayamizu
It was Terry’s daughter, Caitlin, who originally contacted us about featuring her mom’s charming Bar Harbor home. Terry is recently an empty nester, and after her recent divorce, has spent some time making the space truly her own. This is the kind of house that is filled with interesting pieces gathered over the years, and stylish, modern details. I’m so glad Caitlin reached out.
You’re going to love getting to know this family — and the tour may inspire you to plan a trip to Bar Harbor, too. Welcome, Terry! … Random Thoughts
I sat down at my laptop this morning and immediately thought of a dozen things we haven’t had a chance to chat about during the holiday break. Gosh I missed you. We need to catch up! It’s time for a random thoughts post. : )
Some of the things I’ve been thinking about and want your thoughts on:
– Elizabeth Warren announced her candidacy for president. It made me happy. I hope many women throw their hat in the ring during the primary — the more women running for president, along the whole political spectrum, the better.
As soon as I read about Warren’s announcement, my mind immediately went to at least a dozen conversations I had with people during the 2016 election cycle — people who said they simply couldn’t support Hillary Clinton, but that it had nothing to do with Hillary being a woman. They assured me that if it were any other woman running against Trump, especially Elizabeth Warren, they would totally vote for her.
Do you think they would still claim the same thing? Hah! I’m not the only one thinking about that. I read a McSweeney’s article this morning titled: I Don’t Hate Women Candidates – I Just Hated Hillary and Coincidentally I’m Starting to Hate Elizabeth Warren.
… Living With Kids: Kristen Gambaccini
Today’s tour is a fun one to share the week before Christmas. Say hello to Kristen Gambaccini. Kristen is a mom to 8 — and they all live together in a smallish home in Medina, Ohio. Not only does Kristen have her Christmas decor on lock, she has also managed to make a lot of improvements, upgrades, and personal touches to her home on a tight teacher-salary-budget.
I love that Kristen is rank about saying this isn’t necessarily her “dream” home, but it works for her and her family’s needs, and she has done everything she can to make it reflect her own sense of style. Welcome, Kristen!
… Family Photos at Cal Berkeley Campus
It’s family photo shoot season! We shot these this past Thursday. It was our first family shoot since Ralph left (and then returned two years later) from his mission to Colombia.
A quick note about our approach to photo shoots: We do photo shoots not only for a record of our family, but also as a big, creative, collaborative family project. I know this approach would not make sense, and would not be appealing, for everyone. It takes a lot of work, and there’s no guarantee the photos will live up to whatever we’re picturing in our head. But we have had a lot of fun over the years working on family photos, and now it’s become part of our family culture.
I’m over the moon with how these photos turned out. Marielle Hayes was the photographer and did a terrific job. Want to hear the thinking behind the shoot? Or what the planning was like? I hope you say yes, because I love talking about this kind of thing. : )
… Add-on Gifts: Yea or Nay?
Is there someone in your life who is hard to shop for? Or are YOU hard to shop for? I’ve been thinking about that this month. Despite the joy I get in creating Gift Guides, I would say gifts are not my love language — either giving or receiving. And sometimes during December, I end up feeling like I’m buying a gift just so I can mark it off my list, instead of choosing something really thoughtful.
So I adore when people make it easy to gift to them. I love registries and I love wishlists. I love Pinterest boards labeled “coveting now.” I love when I have a solid sense of what someone wants so that I know the gift I’m giving is wanted, and won’t be a burden.
… Living With Kids: Jane Cross
I am so excited to introduce you to Jane Cross and her family. Jane, her husband, and her kids, live in Asheville, North Carolina. Jane is educated as a nurse, but recently switched tracks to work with her husband in education, when she saw a need and didn’t see anyone else to fill it. Jane also has an adopted son from Ethiopia and speaks really honestly and openly about the challenges of raising a black son in a white family in the south.
You are going to come out of this home tour smarter because of all of the great things Jane has to say. Welcome, Jane!
… My Favorite Nativity Set
Have I told you about our Fontanini Nativity Set. I’m a big Fontanini fan. Have you heard of it? Fontanini figures have been designed and handmade in Italy for 110 years. They’re sophisticated looking and beautifully hand-painted, but they’re made of resin and totally kid-friendly.
They look like they could be fancy, but I don’t mind a bit when little ones play with them — and holy moly little kids are drawn to them. They’re fairly irresistible. (Especially Baby Jesus who begs to be lifted out of his manger and wrapped in their favorite blankie.)
… Living With Kids: Alyse Cullen
Alyse Cullen and her family live in an amazing mid-century modern home that was designed and built to take advantage of all the beautiful trees that surround it. It must be amazing to wake up each morning and see the changing leaves outside every window. The house is positively lovely, and Alyse has a fun personality and sense of humor that I really think you’ll enjoy. Oh, and Alyse’s husband played professional hockey which brought some fun opportunities for the family — including a chance to live in Italy, where he was playing. Welcome, Alyse!
… Are Bald Men a Deal Breaker for You?
It’s been heavy on holiday gift guides around here, so let’s take a break and talk about something completely different: hair loss and balding.
Ben Blair and I were talking about this the other day after looking at pictures of my dad in photo albums. Ben is 45, but still has a thick head of hair. It has faded from bright red over the years, and he has some good salt and pepper mixed in now, but as far as I can tell, it hasn’t thinned.
I told him that it’s possible his wonderful hair is somewhat wasted on me, because I grew up with a dad that was mostly bald, and it left me totally comfortable with baldness. In fact, I remember being surprised when I realized that some women were stressed out by the idea of bald men (maybe it was an episode of Sex & the City?). When dating, I didn’t see baldness as a deal breaker at all. Basically, Ben Blair could lose all his hair and I don’t think it would change my attraction to him.
… Living With Kids: Sara Cline
Sara Cline comes to us today from Southern Indiana. She’s a mom to three girls, a part time PE teacher, and a woman of faith. Sara lives with her husband and three girls in a beautiful home they moved into just this year. It is warm and lovely and a wonderful place to raise kids. Sara has also had her fair share of difficult times in the last few years including deaths in the family, a major car accident, and a miscarriage. She shares some wonderful advice about getting through tough times. I can’t wait for you to meet her. Welcome, Sara!
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