Note from Design Mom: Two years ago, I tried something new. I wrote a Twitter thread for the first time. That first thread is about abortion, irresponsible ejaculations, why politicians who claim to care about abortion don’t really care, and how I think we need to approach the topic of abortion differently. I’m republishing it here today to mark the anniversary (and because I know many of you don’t use Twitter).
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I’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I’ve been listening to men grandstand about women’s reproductive rights, and I’m convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here’s why…
If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies. No for real, they are. Perhaps you are thinking: IT TAKES TWO! And yes, it does take two for _intentional_ pregnancies.
But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me walk you through it. Let’s start with this: women’s eggs are only fertile about 2 days each month. And that’s for a limited number of years.
That makes 24 days a year a women’s egg might get fertilized. But men can cause pregnancy 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year.
And though their sperm gets crappier as they age, men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty till death. So just starting with basic biology + the calendar it’s easy to see men are the issue here.
But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birth control? If a women can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can get birth control, right? Great questions.
Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women are ridiculously harmful. So ridiculous, that when an oral contraception for men was created, it wasn’t approved…
… because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about 1/3 as long as the known side effects for women’s oral contraception.
There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out that as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
But good news, Men: Even with the horrible side effects, women are still very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately it’s harder to get than it should be. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment and a prescription. It’s not free, and often not cheap.
In fact there are many people trying to make it more expensive by fighting to make sure insurance companies refuse to cover it. Oral contraceptives for women can’t be acquired easily, or at the last minute. And they don’t work instantly.
If we’re talking about the pill, it requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. And again, the side effects can be brutal. I’M STILL GRATEFUL FOR IT PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT AWAY.
I’m just saying women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy. In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men, meaning condoms. Condoms are readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective, and work on demand, instantly.
Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. Amazing! They are so much easier than birth control options for women. As a bonus, in general, women love when men use condoms. They keep us from getting STDs, they don’t lessen our pleasure during sex or prevent us from climaxing.
And the best part? Clean up is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as your jizz drips down our legs. So why in the world are there ever unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?
Oh. I remember. Men don’t love condoms. In fact, men frequently pressure women to have sex without a condom. And it’s not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex, without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro-tip: That’s assault.)
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Good question. Apparently it’s because for the minutes they are penetrating their partner, having no condom on gives the experience more pleasure.
So… there are men willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career, so that they can experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure? Is that for real? Yes. Yes it is.
What are we talking about here pleasure-wise? If there’s a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives, a back-scratch falling at 5, and an orgasm without a condom being a 10, where would sex with a condom fall? Like a 7 or 8?
So it’s not like sex with a condom is not pleasurable, it’s just not as pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10. Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk by having non-condom sex, in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure.
Now keep in mind, for the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control built right in, called the pull out. It’s not perfect, and it’s a favorite joke, but according to experts, when done correctly, it is also 96% effective.
So surely, we can expect men who aren’t wearing a condom to at least learn to pull out correctly and pull out every time they have sex, right?
Nope.
And why not?
Well, again, apparently it’s slightly more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. So men are willing to risk the life, health and well-being of women, in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for like 5 seconds during orgasm.
It’s mind-boggling and disturbing when you realize that’s the choice men are making. And honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth that their pleasure is of utmost importance in the world. (We’ve also trained them to dis-associate sex and pregnancy.)
While we’re here, let’s talk a bit more about pleasure and biology. Did you know that (with few exceptions) a man can’t get a woman pregnant without having an orgasm? Which means that we can conclude getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men.
But did you further know that men can get a woman pregnant without her feeling any pleasure at all? In fact, it’s totally possible for a man to impregnate a woman even while causing her excruciating pain, trauma or horror.
In contrast, a woman can have non-stop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists not for creating new babies, but simply for pleasure.
No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant. Rule of thumb: Pregnancies can only happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies can only happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
What this means is a women can be the sluttliest slut in the entire world who loves having orgasms all day long and all night long and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly.
Women enjoying sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men enjoying sex and having irresponsible ejaculations is what causes unwanted pregnancies and abortion.
Let’s talk more about responsibility. Men often don’t know, and don’t ask, and don’t think to ask, if they’ve caused a pregnancy. They may never think of it, or associate sex with making babies at all. Why? Because there are 0 consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies.
If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation.
If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation, or that there’s now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA.
If the woman does tell him that he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him, is that he may need to pay child support. But our current child support system is well-known to be a joke.
Only 61% of men (or women) who are legally required to pay it, do. With little or no repercussions. In lots of states, their credit isn’t even affected. So, many men keep going as is, causing unwanted pregnancies with irresponsible ejaculations and never giving it thought.
When the topic of abortion comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. And never once consider the man who caused the unwanted pregnancy.
If you’re not holding men responsible for unwanted pregnancies, then you are wasting your time.
Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop trying to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply HOLD MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
What would that look like? What if there was a real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy? What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseating, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering…
… as forcing a woman to go through a 9-month unwanted pregnancy?
In my experience, men really like their testicles. If irresponsible ejaculations were putting their balls at risk, they would stop being irresponsible. Does castration seem like a cruel and unusual punishment? Definitely.
But is it worse than forcing 500,000 women a year to puke daily for months, gain 40 pounds, and then rip their bodies apart in childbirth? Is a handful of castrations worse than women dying during forced pregnancy and childbirth?
Put a castration law on the books, implement the law, let the media tell the story, and in 3 months or less, tada! abortions will have virtually disappeared. Can you picture it? No more abortions in less than 3 months, without ever trying to outlaw them. Amazing.
For those of you who consider abortion to be murder, wouldn’t you be on board with having a handful of men castrated, if it prevented 500,000 murders each year?
And if not, is that because you actually care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality, than you do about reducing or eliminating abortions? (That’s a rhetorical question.)
Hey, you can even have the men who will be castrated bank their sperm before it happens — just in case they want to responsibly have kids some day.
Can’t wrap your head around a physical punishment for men? Even though you seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women? Okay. Then how about this prevention idea: At the onset of puberty, all males in the U.S. could be required by law to get a vasectomy.
Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a doctor’s exam for a woman getting a birth control prescription. There is some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects.
(So much better than The Pill, which is taken by millions of women in our country, the side effects of which are well known and can be brutal.)
If/when the male becomes a responsible adult, and perhaps finds a mate, if they want to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed, and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. And each male can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case.
It’s not that wild of an idea. 80% of males in the U.S. are circumcised, most as babies. And that’s not reversible.
Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ones. Go ahead and suggest your own ideas. My point is that it’s nonsense to focus on women if you’re trying to get rid of abortions. Abortion is the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy.
If you want to stop abortions, you need to prevent the “disease” – meaning, unwanted pregnancies. And the only way to do that, is by focusing on men, because: MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES. Or. IRRESPONSIBLE EJACULATIONS BY MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES.
If you’re a man, what would the consequence need to be for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? Would it be money related? Maybe a loss of rights or freedoms? Physical pain?
Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
Are you someone who learns better with analogies? Let’s try this one: Think of another great pleasure in life, let’s say food. Think of your favorite meal, dessert, or drink.
What if you found out that every time you indulge in that favorite food you risked causing great physical and mental pain for someone you know intimately. You might not cause any pain, but it’s a real risk.
Well, you’d probably be sad, but never indulge in that food again, right? Not worth the risk!
And then, what if you further found out, there was a simple thing you could do before you ate that favorite food, and it would eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone else. Which is great news!
But the simple thing you need to do makes the experience of eating the food slightly less pleasurable. To be clear, it would still be very pleasurable, but slightly less so. Like maybe you have to eat the food with a fork or spoon that you don’t particularly like.
Would you be willing to do that simple thing, and eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone you know intimately, every single time you ate your favorite food?
OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
Condoms (or even pulling out) is that simple thing. Don’t put women at risk. Don’t choose to maximize your own pleasure if it risks causing women pain.
Men mostly run our government. Men mostly make the laws. And men could eliminate abortions in three months or less without ever touching an abortion law or evening mentioning women.
In summary: STOP TRYING TO CONTROL WOMEN’S BODIES AND SEXUALITY. UNWANTED PREGNANCIES ARE CAUSED BY MEN.
The end.
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Well. There it is. My first Twitter thread. I actually had this written for several months before I published it, and was hesitant to share it. Not sure why. But hearing so many men talking about women’s reproductive rights (related to the Kavanaugh hearings), brought me to hit publish. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. What could we do as a society to have men shoulder the burden of preventing unwanted pregnancies?
As an extra comment, where I come from and in most of Europe, all forms of birth control, not just referring to the pill, are completely free; so access to any method is easily available to a women of any age, from 13 upwards.
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I shared this Twitter feed with my boss (Dr. Valerie Hudson of the Bush School of Government and Public Service at Texas A&M) and she loved it so much that she wrote an article about it. I thought I would share the article here so you can read it as well :) She loved what you wrote and went to great lengths to show her support for your stance.
http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleCasslerAbortionManIssue.html
Thank you for your thoughts!
Fantastic. Eloquent. Wonderful. Reposted.
You my Shero.
When a mom and a dad argue, passing blame, the only innocent one that truly suffers is their child. Similarly, the one whose life this argument affects the most will never get a chance to voice their opinion.
I agree with her point that selfishness is the culprit, but she’s missing a key factor: the will of God. What seems random isn’t. God has populated almost the whole earth with unwanted pregnancies. If he left it up to us, there may be very few children. Kudos to those who step-up and love their children, even if unplanned. I think God knew that the selfishness of men would overcome the reticence of people to take on responsibility. So, that weaves into His plan. Also, I have known the best of birth controls to fail, condoms to pop or split, IUD’s to go missing, pills to not work, etc. I have several grandchildren from failed birth control, and thank GOD for them! So, the author may be correct that there would be less abortions if there were less unwanted pregnancies, if men were more willing to always use a condom. But she forgot the God factor. We are not always in control, ha ha. Man plans, God laughs. I am blessed to say that I never had an unwanted pregnancy, and that I got all the pregnancies that I did want. Many are not that lucky. But I would never abort, regardless. I would woman-up and lovingly raise the child. However, my foster and adopted kids were often products of unwanted pregnancies, and I am glad that they were given life and that I got them. So…
Thank you for pointing out what should have been so obvious! I am sharing this with all of my friends, especially men. Men who love women need to take responsibility.
I loved the article, I’m a woman, and I completely agree…. BUT are we ever going to get to that point? It won’t be easy to convince a man they have 100% responsibility? Until then, the women have to take on that responsibility and we have to stop having sex with men who will not wear protection!! Take away the pleasure all together. There will be NO pleasure whatsoever without responsibility! If they are not willing to use a condom then they don’t get sex. Period!
I’m a guy and this is maybe a really stupid question but what if she is on top? It would be very hard to pull out when i’m about to ejaculate and she is really going at it and even with condom on there is a risk of unwanted pregnancy and telling her to get off is super stupid too cause i don’t wanna ruin her fun. On the other hand i know that it is the man’s responsibility to not ejaculate irresponsibly. So, what can i do? Well ok, i could get a vasectomy, but this apparently also does not 100% guarantee prevention of unwanted pregnancy as i have read. Of course preventing the ejaculation is very important to prevent the unwanted pregnancy, but apparently even these pre-ejaculation drops can cause an unwanted pregnancy even if i only stick my tip in.
Thank you so much. Such an interesting post. I appreciate the line of reasoning, and I’m sure this comes from a very good place/good heart. I’ve never thought about the fact that men are actually more responsible for all pregnancies, biologically speaking. Not sure why. It’s obvious. So thanks for pointing out the obvious. However, as a woman, I am responsible for educating the man I’m going to have sex with. As a mom of two boys, I have a responsibility to educate my sons about this. As a Christian woman, I believe that sex really is only meant for those married which can (though not entirely) prevent this whole dilemma if both are committed to each other’s well being. I also know that not everyone believes as I do, and I do not advocate forcing my beliefs on others unless it is regarding killing innocent babies. As a human, I realize that it’s unrealistic to believe that most humans are able to control themselves for a higher good or moral standard, so there needs to be plan B. This is a good plan B. If you’re going to have sex outside of marriage or even in marriage to prevent unwanted pregnancies, men must wear a condom or pull out. Both not perfect, but as good as you can do minus abstinence. Ultimately, though, I don’t feel as sad for women as much as much as I do for those precious babies who don’t have a chance at life. And talk about pain? Abortions are incredibly painful to those little tiny babies. Are you glad you’re alive? What if you had been aborted? I think we all are grateful that no one aborted us. So, be wise with your life, especially your sex life– women, and men. The consequences truly are of life and death.
Hi, I really appreciate the thread.
It’s really important to make these things known as the concept of pregnancy is so alien to some people. A lot of people, especially men seem to not understand that penetrative sex = pregnancy most of the time. Women GET pregnant but men GET THEM pregnant.
I also think it’s important to say I’m a man who doesn’t like condoms. HOLD ON HOLD ON!
I’ve never once complained about them to a previous, or my current partner, and I’ve never had sex without one (seriously). They don’t need to know about me not liking them as it doesn’t effect their pleasure at all.
A great way I avoid the conversation is by occasionally avoiding penetrative sex with my current partner. It’s caused some ruckus in our relationship as she doesn’t always feel desired in that way because of this, but it’s what works.
I would look into getting a vasectomy, but the reversal ramifications aren’t always as easy as they seem. If they were I would have had one as soon as I turned 21.
You say sex without a condom is an 8, for some men yeah, for me it’s definitely a 2 lol. But I promise on my heart I’ve never mentioned that to my current partner or anyone before her. The risks of pregnancy are essentially on my hands and it’s important I do what I can to avoid that. Hopefully the male pill or whatever comes soon but I doubt it, I would like it more than anything but they seem to not be interested in anything that won’t make major dollars. It’s sad.
My question to you is what are you going to do about your sons regarding condom sex? There is a general chance they might have condom-less sex (when they grow older obviously) purely because they enjoy it more. It’s a much different sensation for men (as I’m sure you’ve heard through whining) so if it’s ever on the table they might struggle to turn it down. I’m being very serious. In a lot of LTR it’s common for condoms to be ditched for evil female birth control with men reeking the benefits. How will you make sure your sons wear condoms every single time? Women obviously consent to condom-less sex sometimes (in LTR) so I’m curious what your discussions would be on that?
I know a lot and I mean A LOT of male friends who don’t use condoms in their LTR. I’m occasionally jealous lol, but It’s shocking. How would you have this discussion with your sons to tell them “even if you don’t like sex at all with a condom, you can NEVER have it without”. It’s an issue. I’m also curious as to how anecdotal are your legislative suggestions to prove a point or are they 1000% completely serious. Are you going to take your sons to get a vasectomy at 18?
I really do appreciate the thread. It makes my 7 relationships of never not using a condom feel validated compared to other men who boast about never using them (I am aware that’s not the threads purpose).
Thank you SO much for this incredible post.
The statement about child support could not be more wrong. The state handles child support, and they don’t ask. Man or women, they don’t ask, they garnish it directly from your paycheck before you even see it, and if you owe back child support, they take as much as 50% of your income until it’s fully caught up.
The only way to avoid that would be to not work, or work under the table. Both of which come with plenty of consequence. And should the day ever come that you do decide to get a real job, you’re first paycheck will be garnished. You can’t leave the state and hide from that. And you can’t get a passport or visa to leave the country if you owe back child support. There is no running or hiding from that hard fact of life nowadays… Rest assured that is no joke!
I think you’re missing the bigger picture. 🤷🏻♀️
What if you ban having sex before marriage? Like it has always been for centuries? The simplest solution of all. Instead of castrating and birth control pills.
And how’s that working for us?
I got to this column & comment as straight male who listens to the Thom Hartmann program. From a twitter feed he posted to this blog. Great post I will share with female friends. And to all…. Please vote. And not for the party of hypocrites running our government now.
It heartens me to see how positively most folks are responding to this article! (Bless you for writing this article and for posting it!) But for the rest of us, writing a comment on at the bottom of this article will change nothing, we are only preaching to the choir. I have written my representatives to ask them to write bills/laws to hold men accountable for their part in unwanted pregnancies. Please do the same. Nothing will change unless we have the will to change it. Maybe if they hear from enough of us, we can get the ball rolling in the right direction again.
This is the best thing I’ve read about abortion! Thank you, thank you! I’m going to print it and send a copy to my representatives in Congress. Men are getting worse by the day, at least those in Congress and statehouses are. Women are rapidly being turned back into second-class citizens.
How do you feel on Climate Change?
Thank you for taking the time to think this through. I believe this is the best anti-abortion manifesto I’ve ever read!
Please run for President.
THANK YOU
I think it’s a good thoughtful and relevant article causing interesting discussion. However, not all beliefs are the same as the responses show.
Should all be held hostage to one belief system?
Some believe an embryo is a viable Soul who can choose to enter the embryo/fetus when it chooses to and can escape when it chooses to.
So many seem to blindly accept that the SOUL has no control over what happens to it. Maybe we need to look at this from other than the traditional “christian” teaching which may not be accurate and allow for true freedom of religion or beliefs. Why should some think their beliefs are the only valid ones? Think of the hardship created for an unwanted child who may be abused or worse. Maybe it’s time to take a closer look at what we believe and why.
That was well said and very reasonable.
Definitely not suitable for Twitter. :)
An amazing piece to read. Thank you !!!
As a father of 3 adult children (the youngest of which just turned me on to your site) let me just say that you are absolutely correct. The entire argument about abortion and “right to life” is solely about men’s power to do whatever the f*ck they want to women without repercussions. I couldn’t have put it any simpler than you did. Either way — with abortion or without it — the arguments always take the men off the hook. But only the women have to deal with the consequences. (Try reading Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “Herland” sometime for a different take on what a patriarchal society really looks like).
Best post ever! Most women don’t even want an abortion! Most people that are against abortion would never consider making sure that the woman and child would need help and support to carry on, because the man is not considered responsible it’s always on the woman to take responsibility by themselves. NO JUDGEMENTS ON THE MOM !
THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND SHARING THIS!!
I am a biological male who vowed celibacy many years ago. I agree entirely and have always placed 100% legal responsibility on men for all pregnancies whether wanted or unwanted. Like you said, men could end abortion without a single law but it would require them to not have sex with any woman who did not want to be pregnant. There should be actual written signed contracts of consent before sexual acts that both partners agree and sign to. The abortion rate would plummet.
Also, I was voluntarily castrated on September 17th 2020 because of testicle pain. I am still alive and doing fine. That’s why I know that castration really is not so bad, but it took forever to find a doctor willing to do it for me because some people like to control men’s bodies too and insult them by assuming they don’t know what they want.
That’s why I love your post so much.
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This morning I woke up to news of the Supreme Court leak and had to come read this again. I’ve read it many times.
I hope you re-publish and open up the conversation again.
I also read your part 1 on gender and look forward to part 2. You are an important voice.
Thank you.
Kelsey Kleiman
Brooklyn NY
Birth control fails and abortion will always be needed.
This is very thought provoking and also has many, many insightful comments. But I would also like to point out that – very tragically – women also have to rely on abortion to end WANTED, very much wanted, pregnancies. For all kinds of reasons involving her health or the baby’s health results, women have to terminate pregnancies. In fact, those are often the “late term abortions” that pro-“life” activists like to talk about, except they don’t mention WHY the woman needs a late term abortion. There are also mothers who are making decisions for their family – financial, emotional, or otherwise – even when they already have kids, to end a pregnancy when their lifestyle is not compatible with providing a good home to another child. We have to give women credit to make smart choices for themselves. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant with my second very wanted pregnancy and fully support women in making choices for themselves – because if we’re being honest here, they are also thinking about what kind of future the child would have, not just themselves. We have to trust women and allow them to make their own medical decisions. It breaks my heart when politicians and activists don’t consider the heart-wrenching and extremely dangerous situations women face all the time during dangerous pregnancies that cannot proceed, yet they cannot access a safe abortion.
Right on! The only thing that would be superior to vasectomy would be a voluntary, personal pledge by a man to abstain until after marriage. Violations would then subject the man to involuntary vasectomy. Within marriage there are also complications, but on the front end her explanations make sense.
This. Is. Everything. I’m actively Mormon, mom of 4 & and I think this is flawless logic. You are 1000% correct and I agree with you. If only we could police men’s reproductive rights like we police women’s. I just want everyone to read this—everyone should. Like our lawmakers.
I’ve got an alternative proposal for you. How about this one — if abortion is illegal & a crime, how about we send the father to jail instead of the mother. Seems to give the right what they want — criminalize abortion, and solves the issue of putting all the responsibilities on the woman. Seems like that would hopefully appropriately incentivize men to wrap it up or get the snip. And I’d like to see how many Republican male politicians will vote for that. They say it’s about the babies & not controlling women. Let’s see if they say the same thing when it’s their a** going to jail for an abortion.
Ps, I don’t actually want this. I think abortion should be legal up to 24 weeks LMP, plus beyond if the fetus lacks key organ systems required for life (what I call “no heart, no brain, no lungs? No problem.” Making women deliver stillborn babies so that male Republican politicians can feel good about themselves is disgusting.
I am so late to this party, but looked you up after seeing a reference somewhere. But….. WOW! Just WOW! You are brilliant and fierce and I adore you fir it.
Maybe it shouldn’t make a difference, but knowing you are a Mormon woman with 6 (right?) kids makes it even more amazing and surprising to me for you to put out this message. I’ve not encountered this type of perspective from that subset of the population.
Anyway, thank you!! This is powerful and important — esp in 2022, when Dobbs overturned Roe v Wade and lots of conservative talk about addressing birth control based on the Dobbs ruling.
Very well put, thank you for your courage in publishing this.
I did see (part of) your original twitter thread, but this article goes more in depth. A gay friend of mine just send me a link here.
I (and my classmates) learned how to put a condom on at an AIDS-class in my catholic co ed high school in the early ninetees. Seems unbelievable until I tell you I am from the Netherlands. I read a book about sex and reproduction for girls when I was 11 (the little green book for girls).
So when I became sexually active I went double dutch (pil & condom) to prevent a pregnancy and STIs. Whenever a man refused a condom I got really mad. I mean you have to be real close to want to share a STI and/or a baby ( I stopped taking the pill in my twenties). So I didn’t have (penetrative or any other) sex with that person. In the Netherlands there are campaigns about safe sex every year. Still there is stealthing and I had a condom tear twice in my life. And some people are irresponsable or are assaulted. So abortion will sometimes still be neccesary.
Never had the pregnancy issue while being intimate with a woman. That is really freeing.
I now have kids with a male partner and I have read a dutch book about reproduction to my kids when they were 5 and 6. It was made for children of that age. And I have read another book about sex and reproduction with my oldest twice. (both by Sanderijn van der Doef). When there are old enough and their English is better this article will be added as well. Maybe I’ll print your site and add it to a book for teens. Your arguments won’t get old!
My friend said you just published a book. I’ll look into it after I post this.
Thanks again!
Being a woman I am proud of you for keeping sharing in front of everyone. Really this is needed so that each and every woman can read it.
Ciao a tutti! Sono a Roma per il fine settimana, dove ci sono non solo un’abbondanza di monumenti storici come il Colosseo e il Vaticano, ma anche molteplici eventi. Ho visto pubblicità del casinò Play Oro, mi chiedo se merita la pena fare una visita? Cerco anche consigli su destinazioni particolari, caffè locali o eventi, magari anche celebrazioni. Sarò riconoscente per qualsiasi suggerimento!
Hi guys, help me connect my Iphone9 to TV,what i need to do?