Back in 2010, when my kids were much younger I was asked about Christmas gifts for kids, from a reader who felt like she always overbought too many Christmas gifts. How many is too many gifts? Six years later, I think it’s time to revisit the topic.
Gift shopping definitely changes as kids become young adults. The presents get smaller and smaller, with bigger and bigger price tags. (Think cell phones and jewelry.) This is something I’m super aware of because as I plan for Christmas morning, I have a picture in my head of what I want it to look like (big! magical! high impact!), and tiny gifts can make it harder to achieve.
This is what’s on my mind when I start planning and shopping for gifts for the kids:
– On Christmas Eve, there’s usually not too much under our tree. A box of pjs for each child. A gift from a sibling for each child (for the past 4 years, my kids have drawn names). And maybe a few boxes of general family gifts from grandparents or cousins.
Every other gift they receive is from Santa and won’t appear until Christmas morning. This makes coming into the room on Christmas morning really magical — like a big reveal. The gifts seem to have multiplied overnight! And with six kids, all of a sudden there’s so much stuff!
– Gifts from Santa are placed in separate piles for each child, with some space between them so everyone has room to unwrap their gifts. The stuffed stockings are next to their pile. Even though the piles are pretty small, there’s a plentiful feeling because it’s all multiplied by six.
– Traditionally, everything from Santa is gift-wrapped, except one item per child. And that unwrapped gift is often something that’s physically big and would be hard to wrap anyway, like a skateboard or a drawing easel or a boogie board or a play kitchen. Those big items might have a big red bow, but again, no wrapping. None of the items from Santa have gift tags or names on them.
Having one gift unwrapped draws each child straight to their pile. And it feels good too — someone has been thinking of them and they have proof!
– As I mentioned, we’re really going for a magical feeling that morning, so before they kids come into the room, we have soft Christmas music playing, twinkle lights on, candles lit, and something that smells good simmering on the stove. All the kids come into the room at the same time.
– Since our kids take turns opening gifts, I like to make sure each one has a similar amount of items to open. But budgets don’t have to match up at all. Little kids gifts are simply less expensive.
– I ask the kids for wishlists in late November or early December. I tell them to go overboard. They’ll only get a few items from the list, but I like to have options.
– When Ben Blair and I start putting together an actual shopping list from their wishlists, we start with a basic framework: Each child will get something to wear, something to read, and something to play with.
But we’ve found that even with only 3 gift spots to fill, the gifts still multiply. The something to read might turn into a series of books instead of just one. The something to wear might turn into two boxes — one with new jeans, and one with new shoes — or a whole outfit that might have 4 pieces in a few different boxes. The something to play with might split into two — something from their list that’s more passive (like a stuffed animal), and something that’s more active (like an origami kit, or climbing gear).
Yet still, that basic framework really helps to keep things reigned in.
– For years, stockings were mostly filled with art supplies and things like new socks and headbands and big bottles of bubble bath. But as the kids age, it has shifted to nicer toiletries and grooming products, like a really good mascara, or cologne, and practical tech accessories like a new charger or phone cover. Socks still make it in there sometimes too. Our stockings are narrow and not too big. So there are just a few items in each one.
– As I mentioned, the gifts tend to get smaller as the kids get older, and those big physical gifts (like a new bike) that make such an impact on Christmas morning, have started to disappear. But we still have younger kids too. And I still want that big magical impact for them. So the last couple of years, we’ve had balloons (all one color, either red or white), all over the floor and around the tree on Christmas morning too. They’re very inexpensive, but make a big impact and transform the room. The impression is abundance.
– I manage the Christmas shopping list on a spread sheet where I note each child, what they’re getting in each of the 3 categories, and what they’re getting in their stocking. I also note what their siblings have bought for them so that we’re not repeating. The spreadsheet helps me get an overall picture of everything each child is getting so I can tweak it as needed. I picture each child’s face as they open their gifts. Is there a wow gift in the pile? Something they’ll be super excited about? Are there good surprises? Items not from their list, but that they’ll love? Does the pile look too small? If yes, can I wrap a tiny gift in a big box?
– I’m estimating we’ll have 3-5 more years of Santa at our house. I’d like to keep focused on creating a magical morning through those years. But after that, we’ll need to rethink our Christmas morning traditions. Already, we’ve had a couple of years where the big gift from Santa was an experience — like a trip to Venice. I can see us shifting more and more that way.
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Okay, that was a long list of thoughts. Now I’m dying to hear from you! Does Santa come to your house? If yes, how do you handle it? Does Santa bring one gift, or too many Christmas gifts? Are some gifts from you as parents? Are there a lot of gifts already under your tree before Santa arrives? How do you handle sibling gifts?
And tell me about your Christmas mornings. Do the kids get up early or sleep in late? Do they make it to the tree one at a time, or does the whole family gather? Do you do a big breakfast? For many years, our kids always received Lucky Charms in their stockings (a rare treat!) and that’s what they would eat for breakfast. But I think I’m ready to shift to homemade cinnamon rolls or something like that.
What’s your take? Do you have too many Christmas Gifts in your home?
P.S. — Need gift ideas? And remember this hand-stamped wrapping?
We are an atheist/agnostic family (2 atheists, 2 agnostics) and we celebrate the Solstice at this time of year. When the kids were tiny our oldest (then 3) created a story about how a Solstice Fairy was to visit us on the eve of Solstice and leave us presents in pillow cases if we hung them from the mantle! She hung up cases for herself and her baby brother and went to bed, so sure the Solstice Fairy would bring her presents! So, of course, I quickly ran out to the local toy store and filled the pillow cases with a few presents and a big truck for the baby. So that started our family tradition of the Solstice Fairy, which both kids believed in with all their hearts until age 9 and 11- when we had to tell them she wasn’t real since the oldest was headed to public school and we didn’t think her new friends who be as gentle as we were letting her down. We have a ‘Solstice’ tree where we hang our ornaments. Now, as teens, they probably get 5-6 gifts each. Mostly books, jeans, a new blanket, pajamas, a teddy bear or a game. And chocolates, of course! My husband and I don’t exchange gifts anymore but we did when the kids were younger.
The one Christmas thing I did that I really like…
I don’t buy clementines until Christmas. They start appearing in the stores in late November/early December. But I made Christmas morning the first taste of the clementine season that we get in our house. The stockings have a bunch of clementines in them (and maybe a pomegranate) (in addition to chocolate and socks and little toys), and there are clementines strewn about under the tree. Because we haven’t had them in months, it’s an amazing treat, and everybody nibbles on them while we open presents.
When my daughter was 4, she woke me at 6 am (the first time she knew to wake up and run to the look at the tree): “Mom! He brought clementines!”
This year I have been generally kind of absent-minded about Christmas (my kids are 13 and 17, and my 17 year isn’t living at home, and it feels like the pressure is off), and I bought clementines in early December. My daughter was so upset! “They’re not supposed to come until Christmas!.”
Breakfast Christmas morning has always been Pillsbury’s cinnamon rolls or homemade waffles, a fruit salad, then Christmas Morning Wifesaver. Just the Wifesaver would be plenty, but it takes an hour in the oven and little tummies just couldn’t wait that long :) Those little tummies are now 16- 27 years old, but we don’t dare leave out ‘1st breakfast’!
My mom started two traditions that I really loved – 1) she wrapped 24 Christmas books in cheap wrapping paper, and numbered them, and we would read one at night, like a book advent calendar. We took turns unwrapping, which was so fun. 2) She started labeling each of our gifts with one of Santa’s reindeer names when I was about 7, because the four of us kids were always shaking and counting gifts and trying to figure out what we were going to get. It made it really fun – and we stopped fighting over who had more presents, or who had the biggest boxes. By Christmas morning, we were excited enough to be opening that we forgot all the things we would have fought about!
This spreadsheet sounds amazing! Question – if the Santa gifts have no gift tags, but most are wrapped – how do the kids know which gift is for them? Our tradition growing up was to wake up to stockings at the foot of our bed. That way my siblings and I got up and unwrapped stockings together alone before waking my parents up to see the tree.
Last year our lives changed as we were transferred from CA to TX. While the 14 year old came with us, the 23 and 27 year old stayed behind. It is challenging to supply the same amount of gifts via mail, and as they have grown older, the presents cost more and the number of gifts is less. Amazon is a life saver. I am learning (finally) that just as each child is different, so are their gifts. This year my son wanted a new TV, while my oldest wanted new boots and a few other items. These both cost the same dollar amount, but there are a different amount of gifts. This was the first year that I didn’t do stockings for the older kids. If they come for Christmas, I may still do it. How do you decide when to hand over their stockings to them? I’m the mom that still tells all of them that if they don’t believe in Santa, he won’t be bringing them any presents! We also celebrate Epiphany Day (3 Wisemen) and put out a shoebox of grass for the camels and a small gift just as they brought gold, frankincense and myrrh (not so much on the gold part).
I am reading this late, and I am planning a Christmas budget this year. I thought I would get a jump start on the planning. I budget a certain dollar amount and then work within those limits. My son is not interested in clothing, and I budget clothing on a different list. He gets 3 gifts from Santa and the rest from us. We have very few relatives that give gifts, he may get 4 extra gifts from relatives. He actually does not expect any gifts from relatives. He does get to open a stocking. My husband does not want any candy or junk food and no big ticket items, meaning anything motorized like a battery operated car. So with the rules we impose, the stocking can be a challenge and the other gifts are limited. I do wrap 24 books for Advent, most are free. I want him to have fun and have a magical time. So we open gifts depending on our work schedule. And we have a lovely sugary fattening breakfast. And we go to church service if we do not work. My husband thinks giving gifts will make him materialistic. I think the other daily things like cable and cell service and travel and eating at restaurants, and festival going cause an” intangible” materialism. But since these things do not result in something physical in your hand then it is OK. No it is not OK. It is still spending. I do not think Christmas, one day a year, will cause my son to be materialistic. My son will get less next Christmas, because of an overhaul of our entire budget.
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Hi, my take is leave the big gifts and the majority from Mom and/or Dad. Put a gift or two ( not talking iPads etc.. ) from Santa. Some of us parents are more fortunate than other parents.Its all about the kids and not just ours… Think about said Tommy goes to school and is like I got this and this and this expensive gift. And Timmy is like I got two smaller gifts from Santa… Hmm wonder how Timmy feels…Am I not good enough for Santa? Did I do something wrong? So please think about this, this Christmas. Thanks♥️
This has nothing to do with what I do with my own kids, but all this thinking about Christmas morning has me remembering something sweet I always did with my siblings. On Christmas Eve all four of us would camp out in one room (we were always split into at least 2 rooms), and we would set an alarm for 3am. We would all wake up and sneak into the living room to catch a quick glimpse of all the presents newly set out. It was always so peaceful, exciting, and magical! After our little peek together, we’d all go back to bed in the same room. I hope my children have little things like this that they come up with on their own. I’m not sure my parents even know that this was our tradition! I’ll have to ask when I see them next week <3
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