Living With Kids: Rachel Manley

By Gabrielle.

There might already be a major change in the home we’re about to peek into today, if Rachel and Pete’s new baby has arrived! Newborn or not, there are still a lot of lovely additions to this home to inspire us, especially if we imagine this London space with its original brown carpet, magnolia walls, and dingy baseboards. (You’ll see the before of the kitchen, and I bet you’ll utter something along the lines of “Eek!”) Rachel and Pete have done so much to brighten it all up, and she has much to warn us about when tackling DIY while pregnant…and not particularly skilled in the first place!

She’s got a lot to share, and I hope you enjoy it all just as much as I did. Welcome, Rachel!

Hi! I’m Rachel, currently pregnant with my second child. I live with my partner, Pete, and two-and-a-half year old son, George, in the middle of the glorious melting pot that is Brixton, home to one of the best markets in London.

Pete teaches physics at a nearby secondary school, and I work with his sister on their Thai street food business, Bangwok. It means that I get to work from home doing all the paperwork, strategizing and organizing required to run a street food business. So much paperwork!

We really appreciate the impact that not having to commute or work long hours has had on our quality of life. It makes a huge difference! I’m also hoping it will help make the transition to two children easier, as those wonderful school holidays mean that Pete will be around lots.

George is our bright, inquisitive, loud toddler. His auntie recently pointed out that he does not stop talking, and now we really notice it! I don’t mind really, though. It’s kind of incredible to be able to have proper conversations with your child, isn’t it?

Since moving to London – we both went to Oxford University – Pete and I have always lived in Brixton. At first it was because it was affordable and had great transport links, which is very important in London. But over the past seven years, it’s really become home. It’s funny what you get used to; it’s so full of people, colour, and noise, but we don’t even notice it now.

Brixton has always been an edgy, culturally diverse place to live. But in the past three or four years, it’s undergone a real transformation. In an effort to regenerate an old part of the famous market, loads of new eateries have opened and it has quickly become one of the trendier places in London.

Thankfully, we started looking to buy just before everyone else had the same idea and prices shot up. The whole process was such an eye opener. I started off keen to live in one of the lovely Victorian houses in the centre of Brixton and I was all about period features, but we quickly realized just how much you pay for those extra touches. As Pete pointed out, we could put in our own fireplace or wooden floors and not pay the £50,000 extra it seemed to add to a house price!

Pete and I are real homebodies, so more than anything, it was important to find somewhere that we wanted to spend a lot of time and for that we were willing to compromise on location. In the end, we ended up buying just outside Brixton. The location and the fact that the flat was tired and needed a reasonable amount of work meant that we got it for a good price. Actually, being a little bit out of Brixton works perfectly for us as it’s quieter and we’re near a couple of great parks (which is so important with a little one), but we can still walk to Brixton in about ten minutes. I love that everything we need is only a walk away: parks, cafes, shops.

Another huge plus of our flat is space, which is something at a real premium in London. Again, because we’re on the edge of a desirable area, rather than in it, our money went further and we could afford somewhere bigger. I love that we have enough space to settle down. For a lot of our friends, they’ve chosen to buy slightly smaller places in nicer areas, but it means they’re already thinking about moving. As my parents live in Manchester, I wanted space for them to be able to visit, too, which has become even more important since George arrived.

We moved into our flat when I was six weeks pregnant and planned to redecorate the house before the baby was born. I was totally clueless about DIY and completely underestimated just how much work we needed to do and how long it would take. I’d gone into it thinking that it just needed some cosmetic work, maybe a bit of paint, but we ended up basically gutting the whole place and starting again. Every single room needed totally redecorating – it was all covered in disgusting brown carpet, the walls were magnolia, and the skirting boards were cream.

I think we could have gotten away with repainting everything and sorting out the floors and it would have looked nice, but actually, all the crazy things Pete did have made a major difference. I remember the morning after we moved in, Pete jumped out of bed at 7:00 am and starting knocking out where the fireplace had been covered up; this now houses our wood-burning stove.

He discovered a couple of other fireplaces that had been covered up, too, and a whole cupboard in George’s room that now houses a ton of baby stuff. Although George’s room is huge, as it’s in the basement it felt a bit dark and dingy when we moved in; there was a big beam and pillar in the middle of the room holding it up. Pete was determined to get rid of it to make the room brighter, and that entailed removing the floor of the room above to screw all the joists together, but now his room is so much brighter! The white floor helps, too.

For the first eight or so months before George was born, we essentially lived in a building site as we slowly redecorated each room. At any one time, there was usually at least one room absolutely full of tools and rubble. Looking back, I don’t know how I survived. Once he was born, things slowed down a bit and we slowly completed smaller jobs such as the hallway.

Then last summer we tackled the big job: the kitchen. We left it until last, as truthfully, I just couldn’t face it! I knew it would be amazing afterwards, but I also knew the process would be incredibly painful. It was a reasonable sized kitchen with a small dining room at the back that was cold and damp. We planned to knock it though into one big room and have big patio doors at the end. Of course, nothing is that simple, Pete essentially took the roof off the dining room and rebuilt it by himself. As I suspected, it was a LONG summer trying to entertain a toddler while Pete worked on the kitchen, but it really has made the biggest difference. We love it!

We absolutely love our flat now and there’s a barely a day that does by that we don’t talk about how great it is. But the process itself was AWFUL! Being pregnant and a total DIY novice, there was very little I could do and I found this really frustrating. For me, the biggest lesson I learned was that DIY always takes AT LEAST twice as long as you think it will, and and dust will get absolutely everywhere.

Something that helped us was to have deadlines, so I would say the spare room needs to be finished by the end of July because my parents are visiting, and that helped us actually finish rooms off. That and learning to manage my expectations! I soon realized that the flat wouldn’t be finished by the time George was born, so we prioritized and finished what we could. It was depressing, because now we had a baby; DIY was the last thing on our mind, but we slowly got there!

I’m pretty fanatical about keeping things tidy. (Not clean, mind you! That’s why we have a cleaner!) I hate clutter, so we don’t really have any trinkets or knick knacks on display. But I do like to add personality by hanging things on the wall. In our living room growing up, all the walls were completely covered in photos and although I haven’t gone that mad, yet, I do like to hang photos.

I try to keep things as minimal as possible, but that’s not so easy with a kid and a partner who has a lot of hobbies and tools. We’re lucky to have a decent amount of storage so that the things we don’t use that often, like old baby clothes and camping gear, can be hidden away. You can’t beat Ikea for storage ideas and solutions; I basically know their catalogue inside-out!

In terms of style, decorating this flat had probably been the first time that I’ve had the opportunity to even explore what that means and I found Pinterest so helpful for collecting ideas. Before that, we always rented and didn’t have much choice over furniture or decorations.  As we pretty much gutted the whole house, we tried to get each room finished to a basic standard before moving onto the next one. We’ve kept it all very neutral and have slowly added personality over the past few years as we’ve lived here, which has actually worked really well.

For example, George’s room is huge and one of the last rooms we finished before he was born. In fact, we added the skirting boards when I was overdue! It always felt a bit bare and cold to me and we never spent that much time in there. But as he’s gotten older, we’ve slowly added more furniture as he’s needed it – to house all his toys! – and it now feels really cosy and is somewhere he loves to play.

We bought most of our furniture either second-hand or from Ikea, so as a result, we’re not too precious about any of it, which is kind of necessary with children! While we teach George to respect his home and the things in it, it wasn’t the end of the world when he drew all over the table when he was littler.

We’re also fairly relaxed in terms of baby-proofing, which I think is much more of an American thing anyway, and our home is somewhere he can roam with freedom. When he was smaller, we had baby gates to stop him climbing the stairs, but at two-and-a-half, there’s nowhere that’s really off limits to him.

In terms of toys and kids stuff, I try to keep most of them in his room. We have some boxes under the sofa in the living room with some games and puzzles, and his bath toys are all in a box that fits under the sink unit. I like that that he can access his toys when he needs them, but I can tidy them away when they’re not in use!

Even though I studied chemistry at university, I’ve always known I wanted to work in the food business. I started the food blog What Rachel Ate about six years ago and when I got a job on the BBC Food website, I discovered I also loved SEO, analytics, and creating great digital content.

When I left the BBC to work at BangWok, I knew I wanted to keep a foot in the digital world and I’d been thinking about creating a lifestyle blog for a while. I’d always been a voracious reader of blogs and I felt like I had something unique to add. There was a real gap, especially in the UK, for a lifestyle blog for women in their 30s that covered the things they were actually interested in – parenting, TV, make up, work – all in an accessible way.

I knew I wanted the blog to be professional. Even though it wasn’t going to make money straight away, I wanted to treat it in the same way. I also knew the effort involved, so I asked a couple of friends to write the blog with me. Working together has been a really positive experience as we all bring different skills to the table.

We’ve only been writing it for about six months and while it’s still really hard – even with three people – it’s been so rewarding to see which posts people really engage with. Switching from writing about food to more personal posts hasn’t been easy, but I’ve enjoyed the challenge.

When I wonder what my children will remember about me and this home, I think of my own mum. My memories flood with the fact that she is a fantastic cook and one of the warmest people I know – she’s always trying to feed people! I hope that my children remember some of that about our home. I want it be full of warmth, love, and lots of good food! As we don’t have to commute, we always have a proper sit down breakfast together in the morning and it’s one of my favourite times of the day – so relaxed and everyone’s usually in a good mood.

This year we also hosted Christmas for the first time. The flat was absolutely full of family and little kids and it was crazy, but so fun. It was so cool to think that we were starting to create our own family traditions.

My family live in Manchester and we’ve always said that we’d move north eventually to buy a mansion as houses are so much cheaper! But for the moment, we’re really happy where we are. We always joke that we could fit about four kids into George’s room, so space isn’t an issue!

As for becoming a mum myself, I got pregnant easily and had a very straightforward pregnancy, so I think I expected to find being a mother easy, too. I dutifully read various parenting books and thought I was well prepared. Ha! What a shock those first few months were. They were probably the most difficult of my life, and something you could never prepare yourself for. I felt like I was totally floundering.

Once I started getting some sleep and went back to work, things really changed and I enjoyed him so much more. I think getting back some of my sense of self really helped. What really surprises me now is how much I love him and how powerful that feeling is. Sure he can still drive me mad, but I always look forward to picking him up after a day at work. It’s such a cliche, but I think he’s so bright, funny, and beautiful. I really wanted a baby, but I didn’t expect to enjoy having a toddler so much. This is definitely my favorite stage so far and I can’t wait to have two of them; I know it’s it’s going to be crazy, but in a few years time they’re going to have so much fun together.

I wish someone had told me to relax! I caused myself so much unnecessary stress and anxiety in the beginning worrying about why George was feeding so often or not sleeping more and trying desperately to find patterns in his behavior.

I wish I’d seen this piece of advice on A Cup of Jo:  A very useful phrase to repeat whenever you start to ask why your baby is doing something confusing and unpredictable: Babies be babies.

Now that a few more of my friends have had babies, it’s so obvious how different all babies are! Some will follow a routine and sleep well straight away, and others, like George, won’t. I’m hoping I’ll be a bit more relaxed this time and enjoy those newborn snuggles a bit more instead of worrying about forming bad habits.

–-

Babies be babies! It’s true! That hilarious quote goes on a bit more: “Your spouse is not the enemy. The baby is the enemy.” I’m still giggling at that. Thank you, Rachel, for all this goodness. And, truthfully I’m finally recognizing you as the Rachel from What Rachel Ate; I’ve loved more than a few of your recipes over the years! I’m excited to check out your newest endeavor, Everyday 30.

One thing Rachel mentioned – and truly, it was a tiny, tiny sentence! – is how she’s fanatical about keeping things tidy, but not so much into cleaning and has someone in to tackle that job for her. I’m wondering about your thoughts on hiring outside help for the inside; does it make you feel guilty or relieved? I’m hoping your answer is relieved! If you’re doing it yourself (and maybe complaining about it!) what’s holding you back?

P.S. – Are you living with your own kids in a unique way? Are you interested in sharing your home and experiences with us? Let me knowWe love to be inspired! And it’s a lot of fun…I promise! Take a peek at all the homes in my Living With Kids series here.

27 thoughts on “Living With Kids: Rachel Manley”

  1. Such a lovely home! I want those gray shelves for the trains — any chance you’ve got a source for me, Rachel?

    We have a cleaning lady, who comes every 2 weeks. I resisted for so long! I thought we could do it by ourselves, and finally my husband convinced me that it was worth it to pay someone else. We still do basic maintenance cleaning between the cleaning lady’s visit, but she’s a treasure!

  2. I enjoyed seeing those butcher block counter tops in the kitchen! We recently remodeled and I chose butcher block but haven been second guessing myself since we are still learning about upkeep. But seeing them in someone else’s home reminds me how much I love the way the look!

    I also do the tidying and leave the heaving cleaning to someone else. I like to hire cleaning people, my husband does not, so he does all the deep cleaning. To avoid arguing about household tasks we have divided the workload along clear lines: My role is Food Services and Wardrobe. He does Facility Maintenance.

    1. Lovely post, lovely flat.

      Hiring someone to clean has actually been an enormous source of stress for the last many years in our house. My husband and I both work full time–he actually 60 to 70 hours per week–so it seems pretty clear to me that we can’t do it all. The problem is in our differing levels of comfort with dirt and dust bunnies–he doesn’t mind at all, it drives me crazy. When you add his frugality to the mix, it means he is not enthusiastic about paying for a cleaner. But he’s not around to do it himself, and even when he is, let’s just say that deep cleaning is not his strength, and I’m not very assertive.

      Which is all a long way of saying that I just really admire couples who are able to figure who how to manage that whole part of life. Hats off! :-)

      1. Kirsten, I was in your exact boat. Exact!! Hubs works many, many hours and hates cleaning (and is not great at it). I told him I’d find room in our budget for just one time (instead of going out to eat that month etc.) and once he realized a) how long it takes our cleaning lady to properly clean our house once a month (3.5hrs and we have a small 1200sq ft home), and b) how HAPPY it makes me to come home to a clean home… which bleeds into a happier day, happier night etc. it made it clearer to him that it was a priority for us as a family. So my two cents: see if you can convince him to just have it done once. :)

  3. Such a lovely home. I love the shelves they have on the wall for their son’s train collection. Anyone know where I can find some like that? Or what type of shelf it is?

  4. Thank you for sharing with us! My favorite by far is the first picture. As much as we would love to have a pristine white kitchen, as Mamas, you just have to have the IKEA drinking cups. And I love that they’re on display.

  5. Such a lovely tour, and such lovely writing from Rachel.

    I was exactly like Rachel when I had my first daughter. I got pregnant (relatively) easily, and had great pregnancies and deliveries, and I had always known I wanted to be a mom and looked so forward to it. Boy was I unprepared for those first few days and weeks! I wasn’t prepared to feel upset with the crying person who I didn’t really know, and who was causing me so much heartache and pain (literal, physical, pain. In my breasts ;) ). But, we got through those first few days, weeks, and months, and it got so much better, and with my second, it got better sooner. And, like Rachel, I was able to relax more the second time around.

    I don’t have a house cleaner because I truly can’t afford it. I think I would do it if I could, but I probably would feel a little bad about it. But I’d probably get over it quick. :)

  6. Love this home. Love it even more as it’s practically around the corner from where I live … lovely to see another UK home on here!

  7. I loved this house tour. I want her kitchen!

    We do not use a housecleaner. When my kids were little, we had someone every two weeks. Now that they are older, we do it ourselves. That said, I’m not super fanatical about clean — we really live here and spend a lot of time in our home. I cook a lot. We have a dog and I garden. There is always some spot that is messy or needs more attention. I’m OK with not having a spotless and perfectly neat home 24/7. Our house is not gigantic so we can knock out a cleaning session together in about 30 minutes to an hour– 1 kid dusts & mops, 1 vacuums, 1 does bathrooms, and I do the kitchen. Hubs does whatever else is needed (sheet changing, etc.). I also pay my kids for additional cleaning in between big family cleans. This provides them with pocket money and some skills. I don’t want them to grow up feeling like someone else will clean up their messes. They all know how to use a toilet brush and mop.

  8. I loved this tour – congrats on finishing the reno! You must be thrilled to not live in a construction zone :)

    We’ve had a cleaner for years, even before we had a baby. Between us, I am the neat one and my husband is the clean one. However I am very neat all the time, and husband needs a disaster zone before he is motivated to clean. When he cleans you can eat off the floor but it would take weeks to get there, and in the meantime I would want to shoot myself (or him). Plus we both work full-time and it was the biggest downer to then have to spend two hours on a Saturday cleaning!

    “Hire a cleaner” is what I always tell couples getting married, and I book cleaners for friends having a baby. Best relationship investment ever, in my book.

  9. But just look at how drastically catches have changed. If you can think
    clear enough and still believe that the relationship can be saved, read advices to help you on still
    in love with ex. Below is the list of some essential skills required for the hockey coach.

  10. My husband has mentioned wanting to hire a cleaner a few times (his family always had one growing up and I grew up a bit too poor). But I always say I would much rather have a messy house and spend the money on something more fun.

  11. Thanks for all your lovely comments everyone! Unfortunately, the train shelves were a present from George’s aunty and I’m pretty sure she found them at a car boot sale…you’re probably better off without them though as I seem to spend my life putting the trains back on them!

    Also, hiring a cleaner was the best thing we ever did and so worth the money. I LOVE not having to worry about cleaning bathrooms or doing hoovering.

  12. In the 80s I agreed to wash diapers rather than clean the house! I excel at the domestic arts with one glaring exception, cleaning makes me really crabby. Tidying up, cooking delicious and nutritious meals, sewing and even the laundry was all enjoyable. If I have to suffer with cleaning, it seemed I made everyone suffer. Every other Tuesday we are thankful for Shelia who loves to clean our home and take away any worries about me needing to do it myself. Any sacrifice is truly worth it to me.

  13. Hi Gaby, I hope you’re ok, we haven’t had a post in a few days. (I loved this one!)
    lots of love from the Alps

  14. We lived in London when my kids were born, and that is when I first hired a cleaner. It was a very common thing amongst my friends, and not at all expensive. I definitely had some guilt, having grown up in the rural Midwest where no one hired domestic help. But I was able to rationalize it by realizing that we were helping someone else earn a living. And of course it felt so good to come home to a deep-cleaned home!
    I still have cleaners come now that we moved back to the States, but it is more expensive, so they come less often. It’s almost embarrassing how long it takes me to prep for the cleaners (putting things away) but it’s a necessary impetus for a procrastinator like me!

  15. What a beautiful home! This house tour brought back so many memories of our time in London! We were living in Streatham Hill when our son was born and often walked to Brixton Village on weekends. My son would go from shop to shop and dance to the music at every one. Then sometimes we’d head over to Brockwell Park. Oh how is miss it!

  16. I enjoy the Living With Kids series, but I would prefer it if the stories in the series had more wide shots of the rooms and fewer detailed shots of vignettes. I hope this suggestion isn’t taken as a criticism of Rachel, her lovely home, or your blog, because I certainly don’t intend it to be. I just think it would be more inspirational if, for example, there was a shot of the whole dining room rather than a picture of a plate and some pancakes. I’ve noticed this type of thing in other LWK articles too.

  17. I enjoyed this home tour! And getting outside help in general is a relief! For a long time my husband and I could not financially afford it and didn’t really need it. Baby came along and we were still ok, but when baby #2 was due to arrive when baby #1 was 28 months old I knew I would need help for at least a few weeks while I figured out having 2 kids (100% of my time with each kid x 2 kids = 200% of my time…ha!). We had a girl who came 3 mornings a week for about 2 months to play with my toddler and do some light cleaning. A few months later we figured out that we would rather have more of my husband’s time when he got home from work and it was worth it to us to pay the neighbor kid to mow the lawn. Then a few months later my husband suggested I get the girl to start coming back and helping a morning or two each week, and I felt SO guilty, like I was letting my family down by not getting it all done! But we did have her come usually just one morning a week and I ran errands or went and sat in a quiet place and had lunch by myself and came home to a clean kitchen and swept floors…and slowly it dawned on me that one person just can’t do it all; there are trade offs whether you have no help or lots of help. We have come to the point where we can choose to part with a few dollars (and the things those dollars could get us: more savings, more eating out, etc) in exchange for a more rested (and, in my case, sane!) mommy and a bit more time together in the evenings and on weekends. I am pro-outside help!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Scroll to Top