Do You Prefer City Living or Suburb Living?

DIY: Wooden postcard with photo transfers. So cool!

It’s September 11th, so of course, the great New York City is on my mind. And I thought it might be a good day to have a city-related conversation. Last month, I shared a home tour featuring a city apartment in Chicago, and in response, received several requests to start a discussion about how and why people choose to live in a city, versus a suburb, versus a rural area. I love that idea! Especially because this is a topic that comes up frequently among my friends and siblings.

Our year and a half in Colorado, when we lived in a suburb of Denver called Centennial, was our most true suburban experience. The house we rented had a two car garage. The streets in our community were wide and easy to navigate. Everything we could possibly need or want — schools, pediatrician and dentist, movie theaters, the mall, Target, restaurants (both sit down and take out), hardware stores, rec centers — was only a few minutes away by car. We never had to think about parking. Ever. Or pay for it. It was always easy to park. There was a ton of green space, yard space and park space. The kids in our neighborhood could play outside freely and safely. Ben Blair and I would often comment how life was designed to be easy there, and we truly enjoyed living there.

DIY: Wooden postcard with photo transfers. So cool!

That said, our entire time in Colorado, we were constantly house hunting in downtown Denver! And in its closest neighborhoods as well. Turns out I like the action of a city. I like access to the restaurants, the museums, the instant variety of people, places and things. I was drawn to housing converted from old warehouses and factory buildings. I liked the walking district in Denver and the downtown festivals and events. I liked that public transportation is plentiful.

And I found I had some sort of emotional resistance to settling down in true suburbs. But I could never really pin point what the resistance was. Because I could honestly see how convenient life was in the suburbs, especially for a family of our size. And conversely, how inconvenient it might be in the city — the lack of parking, the tiny + expensive grocery stores, the smaller living spaces. It seems like the suburbs should have been a no brainer, but they weren’t.

DIY: Wooden postcard with photo transfers. So cool!

Then we moved to France, and we got a taste of rural life. Our house was surrounded by fields, far outside the little town. Knowing my fondness for cities, I had no idea I would like it so much. But I did. Life moved slower. Because it was inconvenient, we ran fewer errands. And when we did run errands, we went as a whole family because it was practically an event. It was quiet in the countryside. We could see the stars. We ate most of our meals at home. The kids interacted with their peers at school, but at home (and we were home a lot) their friends were their siblings. Our family grew closer than we’ve probably ever been, which was a completely unexpected perk.

And as you know, now we live in the city of Oakland. Our neighborhood is somewhere between an urban and suburban classification. You can walk to most of what you need, or you can just as easily drive. You do have to think about, or search, for parking, and generally pay for it, but it’s not as hard as dealing with parking downtown, or in San Francisco. It’s definitely not as easy living as suburbia, but it’s also closer to the city center and all the perks a city offers. It’s very easy for us to get to any happenings in Oakland or San Francisco. For us, it feels like a good compromise. And it reminds me of the neighborhood we lived in in New York, called Tuckahoe — it also always felt somewhere between city living and suburbia to me.

DIY: Wooden postcards made with photo transfers. So cool!

Speaking of New York, I’ve heard it’s a popular place to retire. Apparently, it’s ideal for an older couple. Everything can be delivered, and you never to have to drive!

Obviously, not everyone gets to choose. Work location and housing prices determine these decisions for many, if not most people. But let’s pretend. If you did get to choose, if you could get to work conveniently from an urban, suburban, or rural location, where would you live? Where would you raise your family? And have you ever surprised yourself — maybe tried city living, thinking you’d love it, and didn’t? Or moved to a sprawling rural farmhouse and then missed your tiny city apartment? I’d love to hear your stories.

I’d also love to hear how you made your decisions — I know some people have a ton of angst about moving from the big city to the suburbs. And others are terrified about moving from the suburbs or countryside to the big city.

Lastly, as I alluded to above, my personal classification for true suburbia is never having to think about parking. How about you? What are the earmarks of suburban life in your mind? Or urban life, or rural life?

P.S. — My dad’s birthday was on September 11th. We had a little discussion about that last year. Images from the New York Wooden Postcard DIY.

 

111 thoughts on “Do You Prefer City Living or Suburb Living?”

  1. I live in Adelaide, Australia, It is a city of about 1 million people, in the middle, down the bottom of the continent or island (we call ourselves both!).

    The actual city centre of Adelaide fits into a square mile bordered by North, South, East and West Terraces (such inspired names!) The city centre is completely surrounded by parkland. It is lovely. I live right next to the park (and have another right out front in what is condsidered the suburbs but really it is a hybrid of city/suburb). I run in the park most mornings, we rarely have weather that prevents it. We walk or ride bikes to theatres, the museums, movies. I walk to the supermarket, the local library, the dentist, doctor, local coffee shop, friends homes etc etc.We have a community garden.

    Adelaide is a very multicultural city and where I live we have neighbours that are Greek, Italian, Chinese, Indian and Vitenamese. It is also a city that has a thriving arts, food and wine culture. The Adelaide Festival of Arts is the highlight of my year! I am very fortunate to also have a house in a rural coastal location, very different to where we live most of the time, and I love to go there to recharge my batteries.

    Adelaide is a wonderful place, and an easy place, to live. Yet I feel ashamed to say that I have a long held dream to live in one of the world’s big cities. London is my preference. Paris would be second on the list. In fact I wish Australia was in Europe. I visit those cities regularly but visiting and living is not the same. Perhaps if I do fulfil my dream one day, reality will over ride that romantic notion!

  2. A topic very much on my mind! We left our home in Brooklyn to move abroad, and I often wonder where we will end up when we move back to the U.S. Obviously it might be totally dictated by a job, but if we had a choice, I’m just not sure. I love New York and miss it tremendously, but it is a busy and sometimes stressful place (I think you often don’t even realize how much so until you’ve been out of it for a while). We are seeing the upsides of a smaller city. But it’s hard to let go of that “New Yorker” identity—it is such a special place.

    To me, the true (and negative) definition of suburbia is a place you have to drive everywhere. That would be a hard adjustment for us.

    1. Yes. It takes me 15 minutes to drive anywhere. SO ANNOYING since I’m from a small town where it is EASIER. I used to live in Brussels. If you live in the city and you want a magical experience go running at 6:00 in the morning. I used to live in Louise area. You can discover so much quickly on a run with NOBODY up.

  3. Such a great topic!!! I often read Design
    Mom but rarely comment, but this one catapulted
    me to comment. This topic is one that I am sure keeps
    many thinking deeply. My take on it for me personally
    and my family is it’s about having the best of both worlds…
    country and city. We live in NY and go between the two,
    feeling very fortunate to be able to do so. I was raised
    that way and wanted that for our 3 girls as well. I want them
    to be just as comfortable chatting with the local farmer on a tailgate
    as chatting at a cocktail party. It’s life’s oxymorons that really
    keep it interesting and shape us as people.

  4. I grew up in Brooklyn (one of 5 kids, which was a bit strange then and even stranger now) and now live in a midwestern college town with my own 5 kids. There are things I will always miss about Brooklyn– but I grew up in a house (small, but a house) and the cost for that same house in the same neighborhood now is astronomical. We had a car growing up but really only used it to drive to church and my mom used it to drive to the grocery store. My mom sent us around the corner to pick up milk or bread, we walked to school and the library and the park. We used public transport at a young age by ourselves. In some ways, nothing can ever live up to NY, but there are many things I love about where I live now. We consciously chose a home within walking distance to a school and park and I will occasionally send my kids on bike or by foot to the grocery store, though it’s definitely farther than I had to go as a kid. We can see the stars here at night and things are generally quick to get to and daily life is as simple and convenient as it can be with 5 kids(!)– but our closest big city is Chicago, nearly 4 hours away and I really miss that big city feel sometimes.

  5. I’ve lived in many places in the world, but I grew up mostly in a Connecticut suburb. I had a happy childhood there, but I could never imagine going back to the suburbs to raise my family. It would feel too confining, too much of a fish-bowl. I need more privacy, which, interestingly, you get both in the city and in the country. Right now I live at a boarding school, where there is zero privacy! The ideal? A house in the country and an apartment in the city and time to enjoy both.

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  7. I have said for many years that my perfect living arrangement would be our house in the country with an apartment in Chicago. Then I could get my urban fix (the holidays…oh how I miss Chicago at the holidays!) but keep my sanity. I’d probably spend a month in early summer and November/December in Chicago and the rest of the time here at home. If someone could also get around to that teleportation invention, I’d sure appreciate it!

    I grew up in the quintessential midwest small town (in fact, it was used as Smallville in the latest Superman reboot). I’ve lived in the ‘burbs. I’ve lived in the city. And now I live rural. They all have their advantages and disadvantages. I love being able to toss my kids outside (we have 7 acres) and not worry about them. I love that my neighbors can throw a wild party until all hours of the night and it never bothers me since they’re more than a 1/4 mile away (and vice versa). But…I miss the cultural events that come with a big city. I feel bad my kids can’t run around with the neighborhood buddies like I did as a kid. (When we lived in town, it cracked me up how much my husband would get upset about kids crossing through our yard. He’d never lived in a neighborhood before!)

    It’s funny – I was just thinking about folks moving. We have some friends moving from our little dot on the map (our town’s population is about 700) to the nearest Big City (about 100K). I was born and raised in the house my mom lived in for nearly 40 years (until she moved out here with us in 2009). Our intention is to stay in our current house until our kids kick us into a retirement home. I’m always fascinated by people who don’t have “house roots”, who’ve moved around throughout their childhood. Both experiences offer so much…

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