Starting the Day With Wins in Georgia, Ending the Day with an Attempted Coup

Well. Wednesday. I woke to happy news about the election in Georgia. I felt such hope! Here are the tweets I shared on Instagram in celebration:

By the end of the day, hope had been replaced with anger as I watched the attempted coup at the Capitol. Here are the tweets I shared on Instagram in anger and frustration:

I woke up this morning to another wave of anger. I learned the domestic terrorism caused both destruction and death. One report says one woman was killed. Another report says there were 4 deaths. I’m still trying to find a good source to confirm. I also learned more about the Mormons (I’m also LDS too) who took part and supported the insurrection — it added another layer of fury. I shared more tweets to vent:

I don’t have much commentary today. I’m recalling the recent essay I wrote, wondering Conservatives, What Do You Want? It is clear they don’t have an answer. I’m also thinking about Forgiveness & Reconciliation and what we should expect of each other.

What about you? Where are your thoughts today? Have you talked with your kids about what happened? How are your anger levels?

80 thoughts on “Starting the Day With Wins in Georgia, Ending the Day with an Attempted Coup”

  1. I am sure that Joe Biden will have a very positive influence on people, he is calm and knows how to deal with impossible events. Take it as the last moments of the beast; from the outside, it is clear how senators and republicans have been slowwly hypnotized by Trump and sort of in a denial. It will get better thanks to the many many many americans who are intelligent and share your values of dialogue and republican ideals and want to change and better the system. There is a lot of work to do. But today is such a terrible day, watching the ruins and the smoke and the ashes. I hope the 25th amendment is applied. I liked reading the Guardian and Le Monde today. Many thoughts of solidarity. Democracy is tremendous, I like rereading Rousseau from time to time, just to remember that it is the most challenging political system.

    1. I also appreciated the words of solidarity from world leaders. I grinned when Macron spoke in English at the end of his video (recorded at 4:00 AM! — that’s hardcore!).

  2. I am angry. Very angry. I am also incredibly sad. But I am hopeful that the next administration will start to bring the nation together and better days are ahead.

  3. Interesting fun fact: the painting above the bench is, a friend thinks, a Vermont Senator Justin S. Morrill, anti-slavery activist, public education proponent and one of the founders of the Republican Party.

    Ironically or not, Morrill also helped draft the Fourteenth Amendment, you know, the equality provisions of the US Constitution. Interestingly, that amendment also includes this clause: “No person shall… hold any office, civil or military…having previously taken an oath… as an officer of the United States… have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.

  4. Figure out which way u want to go… making tv shows and writing decorating books or pretending to be a spokesperson for America when you’ve fled. I am embarrassed for you

    1. Oh look. It’s my stalker, Emily. You hate me with a deep passion, while simultaneously following me obsessively since 2013. You read every single thing I write and then leave angry, ignorant comments, which I don’t publish — with the exception of this one, because it made me laugh on an otherwise very sad day.

      Why do you torture yourself by coming here? Who knows!

      As a dedicated MAGA enthusiast, you are not welcome here, but I do invite you to eat an entire bag of dicks.

  5. Here’s my disconnect: As a former temple going, garment wearing, Priesthood having member of the LDS church, I struggle to understand how you advertise that you feel anger at these people and include a picture of a person with a Confederate flag, while your church *supports* the ideas that back this behavior up.

    The LDS church is *still* a racist organization and STILL teaches mysogny on a level that is incomprehensible to the outside world. If I welcomed your children into a school where a 12 year old boy had more authority than a 45 year old female who had been teaching for decades, you’d get out of there.

    Honestly, it’s people that straddle both sides that are fanning the flames of this.

    1. Aaron, let me begin by telling you to fuck off into the sun for eternity. Beyond that, where do I even start? Let’s do a list.

      1) You’re not a regular reader here. You’re not a part of this well-established community. This is your first time commenting here on Design Mom, a site that’s been around for 15 years, and yet you feel you’re entitled to ask an extremely personal question, while simultaneously trying to hi-jack(!) the topic of the post. You are an asshole.

      2) You have no interest in an answer to your question. How do I know? Because I’ve written about the exact topic you bring up extensively over the years and you could have easily found my response if you’d spent a few minutes searching the site instead of wasting time writing a shit comment.

      3) Let’s talk about why you chose to leave this comment on my blog specifically. There are dozens of public-facing LDS men who write about the Church far more often than I do. Why didn’t you choose to put the question to them? I’ll tell you why. Though you’ve left the Church and clearly feel you are some sort of Moral Giant now, you didn’t manage to reject the deep and abiding sexism that so many Mormon men love to demonstrate. You are imagining me as Sister Blair and can picture me sitting on a pew in your congregation, so you don’t feel threatened by me. Additionally, you walk through the world assuming woman owe you their time and responses because you are a sexist prick.

      The reality is, if I was actually in your congregation, you would be terrified of me, as all men-who-are-idiots are. It would be very clear to you that I not only don’t respect you, I don’t regard you at all.

      4) Have you posed your question to members of other religions? Are you under the impression there are large religious groups in existence that don’t have racist histories, or aren’t dealing with current racism?

      5) Why are you still an American? Why haven’t you emigrated? What is wrong with you? Do you not know how racist our country is and has been from the beginning? Just because you were born in the U.S., doesn’t mean you have to remain a U.S. citizen. Related, since you’ve chosen to remain in the U.S., what kind of anti-racism work do you engage in? Which indigenous tribes and peoples do you support? Is moral hypocrisy really the battle you want to fight? Really?

      6) Why do you live in an LDS community? You could move anywhere in the country. Why do you surround yourself with people you have decided to hate? Also, why are you married to a woman when you are such a misogynist? Is your intention to torture your wife? (I literally have no idea where you live or if you married, but just based on your comment, it’s a very easy assumption.)

      7) Let me guess. You read the CES letter, and read Rough Stone Rolling, and had a faith crisis. Let me be clear: I don’t give a flying fuck about your faith crisis. Every question you struggled with I already dealt with like 15 years ago, but apparently came to different conclusions than you. To quote Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg: “Just a reminder that not every practice, technique, music, style, life choice, whatever works for everyone, and that’s OK. If you find things that work for you, great! If someone says that doesn’t work for them, *maybe it’s OK not to persuade them otherwise* Let people live.”

      To reiterate: Everything about you and your comment is boring to me. I don’t care if you ever set foot in an LDS church again. I have zero interest in trying to re-convert you. I have zero interest in discussing your hate for the Mormon church. But there are dozens upon dozens of places on the internet that would love to hate on the Church with you. Consider why you’ve chosen to bring your anti-Mormon angst to me. What were you hoping to accomplish?

      8) There was a coup attempt yesterday and the main thing on your mind is bitching about the Mormon church to practicing Mormons who are complete strangers to you? Seriously? Fuck you.

      9) There are entire groups of Black and Brown women and men who are LDS, who publicly and regularly talk about why they remain members of the church in spite of the current racism and racist history of the organization. But you’re going to pretend I, the middle age white lady, am the appropriate person to ask about the reality of experiencing racism in the Church? Have you considered why you didn’t pose the question to LDS people who have experienced racism personally?

      Aaron, don’t even think about responding to this comment. I don’t have any interest in what you have to say. Go sit in the corner until you admit to yourself you’re a sexist asshole, and wallow in the shame until you’re ready to grow up.

  6. Horrified. I just found out my dad still supports Trump after yesterday. I feel like I have Nazis for family members. What is my role? Is it my responsibility to try to save my parents’ souls? Seriously wondering what I need to do as a daughter and American citizen.

    1. It’s THE question of the day and you’re not the only one facing it. I am constantly seeking out discussions about this topic, looking for examples of something that works, that helps break the cult-like thinking. We need guidance on this! And it doesn’t seem to exist. People are willing to have conversations and set boundaries with their family members, but there’s no sense of what actually works to change minds. Sometimes it seems like everything I’ve tried (or seen tried) just makes it worse. I don’t have an answer.

  7. I’m so angry. Not surprised but disheartened and disgusted, again. I’m most furious right now at how few people have been arrested and I am horrified that congress won’t even be in session again until after the inauguration.

    All year I’ve struggled with the anger of being abandoned and failed by our leaders – and people who are supposed to be our neighbors. It’s a lonely and helpless feeling, honestly

    1. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. People are not being held accountable and it’s awful. Every Representative and Senator who supported this needs to be actively replaced. Every insurrectionist needs to face consequences. If there are no consequences, no accountability, this will happen again and it will be worse.

  8. I am the first to admit that I don’t follow politics closely, but I did follow yesterday’s events and was left with a sad, frustrated and angry feeling about the state of affairs. I have some politically outspoken Facebook friends on both sides and I read through their comments carefully. I became further disheartened by some of the commenters who came just short of congratulating the efforts of those who were responsible for violence. Like many of us, my Facebook friend group consists of people from various stages of life, some that I know well now, and some that I haven’t spoken to in person for 20+ years. I have an image of who these people are, largely based on my interactions with them during various periods of time in my life, and I shouldn’t be surprised when that image is broken, but yet I am. Using any energy to argue on social media seems entirely pointless, so I just scroll. But I’m left totally dumbfounded by some of my “friends” thought processes on this.

  9. The elation over the historic wins in Georgia were overshadowed by the domestic terrorists who took over the Capitol. I’m trying to keep some perspective, but I am too angry. Too angry that no one is calling them domestic terrorists, no one is treating them like they did the largely peaceful BLM protesters, the over 600 women who protested at the Capitol to protect immigrants. Before I was not for the abolish the police movement, but now I see that there is no other way. There were Capitol police taking selfies with these terrorists. Over 80% of police officers support Trump. Can POC really expect fair treatment from police officers, when we see the double standard. I am angry the we like to pretend this is not America, this IS America. I think I am done with listening to the other side and trying to understand them, we know what they are for and what they want.

  10. From Canada, I’ve been watching the news over the years wondering the implications of trickle up we’ll see (and it’s here too in the newly spawned federal party of racists who luckily made very little inroads in our election thanks to having a variety of parties to choose from). Yesterday felt like watching the tipping point of a potential civil war. Could that even happen? or many many pockets of violent outbreaks?
    All to say, it’s made me more aware of the potential for democracies to crumble under people just being divided unnecessarily so. And to not vote in our own politicians would would allow it (see many of the senior pol and leader in our province of Alberta with ties to Cruz and the Trump campaign)

    1. Regarding your question about a civil war, I was watching interview footage of some of the insurrectionists and war sures seems to be their intention. They ache for it. It’s disturbing on many levels.

  11. I spent so much time and energy and patience over the last 6 months trying to understand all the trump voters in my life. I listened and was nice and calmly expressed my confusion for their allegiance. I expressed that my vote was for kindness and they mused that trumps words were just “New York talk.” I now see them posting about kindness with no mention of how trumps words caused the mob, lit the fire and stoked it! No acknowledgement at all and I’m mad. And really hurt honestly.

    (And of course sad and mourning what happened in DC, I don’t want to say it’s all about me. This just is the part on the forefront for me at this moment.)

    1. Oh I feel this. I’ve watched for 5 years as people patiently and sincerely and calmly engage with Trumpers, trying to help them see how corrupt he is, how unworthy of their trust or admiration, and I haven’t seen anyone make even a little dent. The Trumpers just seem to get deeper into the mud, with messier and messier justifications for clinging to him.

      Jessica Hische, a type designer, wrote a tweet today about what “deprogramming” could look like. It was an interesting questions to consider. What do we do when tens of millions of people have willingly chosen to be brainwashed.

  12. First of all, your response was perfect and made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that!

    I’m a native Atlantan and I am tickled pink about Warnock and Ossoff winning. I wrote hundreds of Postcards to Voters in support of them and Daniel Blackman (who sadly lost his race for Public Service Commission). I wish their historic wins were able to be celebrated in the news in a manner befitting their accomplishments.

    As for the terrorists who stormed the Capitol and the lawmakers who enabled such a thing to happen in the first place and who now seemingly refuse to do anything meaningful about it: I’m disgusted but sadly, not surprised. And like Sharon, I can’t really articulate my feelings. My kids and I (mostly me) saw the whole thing unfold live because we were watching the certification of the votes.

    To the best of my knowledge, four people are confirmed dead. The one woman who was shot by Capitol Police as she breached the Speaker’s offices plus three who had medical emergencies (at least one was a heart attack).

    1. Thank you so much for your work in Georgia. Those wins! So historic! So meaningful! Such game changers!

      I’m thinking about this line in your comment: “who now seemingly refuse to do anything meaningful about it”

      That is killing me right now. If no one is held accountable, this will happen again and it will be worse. Justice is necessary. And it’s hard to have faith that we’ll see justice here.

  13. Feeling violated and frustrated. Yesterday morning we were so joyful about Georgia then this horrible, nonsense violence upon the capital. Trying to remain hopeful that Biden/Harris will restore peace and truth here.

    1. Such a contrast from morning to night. Imani Gandy Scales wrote on Twitter:

      “I’m just mad that these asshats keep stealing moments from me. Moments of grief, like RBG’s death. Moments of joy like the win in Georgia. Everything is focused on this subset of dickheads. They’re ruining everything.”

      That resonated so much. We were able to celebrate the historic Georgia wins, and the incredible organizers who made those wins happen, for like two hours. And then these asshats redirected all attention towards their asshattery.

  14. Gabby, you hit the nail on the head – both with the post and with your reply to your stalker. Yours is a voice of reason in a world gone mad.

  15. This is America, a nation founded through violence, then built on the backs of others, through violence, and continue to practice violence daily, through our very world view (pull yourself up by your boots, success comes at someone else’s demise). So, was I surprised by the events of yesterday? Nope. Am I disappointed and angry that we (white Americans)* continue to deny our violent history and act surprised when we (white Americans) behave violently? Yep. This is America.

    *Sigh, yes, I know not “all” white Americans behave/act/believe this way.

  16. I finally broke ties with a cousin who is not just a conservative – but a hard core Trumper, conspiracy promoting, wayyyyyyyyyy down deep into the rabbit hole, drank all the Kool Aid alt righter. Wrapped up in a I Love Everybody! bow. I just couldn’t anymore. I feel much lighter now that I won’t be able to see what she does on Facebook. I’ve watched with horror as she has submerged herself deeper and deeper over the past few years into the mire of bizarro-world…..cutting her loose still feels sad though.

  17. I don’t ever want to hear “This isn’t who we are!” or “How did we get here?” again. THIS IS WHO WE ARE. Instead, ask “How can we be better?” and take active steps to dismantle white supremacy. I go between being just so sad and then just so livid. My husband and I asked our 6-year-old to go into his room while we turned on the news, and he replied, “Why, did they shoot another black man?” Later on, we watched some coverage together and explained what happened and his response was, “I can’t tell which side the police are on.”
    As always, thanks for providing this space here, Gabby.

  18. I woke up with such a sense of happiness that a black man and a Jew were elected as Senators in Georgia. I went to bed feeling so sad and sickened after watching the horrifying insurrection instigated by Trump. The toxic combination of right wing media, disinformation via Facebook, the GOP who (with rare exception) has encouraged and appeased Trump, dark money and greed: here we are. Millions of Americans believe, because Trump has told them and Republicans have gone along with the lie for their own craven purposes, that the election was “stolen.” They have been brainwashed for years. I’m sure many of us have people in our lives that we love (family or friends) that we basically have lost to this insanity. This outrageous desecration was a slow moving storm that any of us who have been paying attention for the last five years could have seen coming. Where do we go from here?

  19. I love that you take such a strong stance against his supporters.

    And thank you for posting Emily’s comment – otherwise we wouldn’t have had your awesome response.

  20. Wow! I was going to comment on my sadness and grief but then I read what you wrote to Aaron. Again, WOW! This was the most clear, concise, and thorough take-down of a man in over his head with a well-spoken, deep-thinking, thought-provoking woman as I have ever seen. Thank you for setting that model and reminding me it’s okay to tell someone in the frankest terms possible to back up.

    As an American living in Canada (and not wanting to ever move back), yesterday reduced me to tears repeatedly. I cried in the car. I cried at my desk. I cried in front of my kids. I have 2 sons and I want them to grow up to be thinking, loving, contributing, kind, honest men. It’s hard to imagine a worse role model for them than the asshole occupying the White House. Thankfully, they have other men in their lives and much closer to them but it’s still hard. I hope Biden can work long enough to make some really important changes and I hope he prepares those who come after him with his leadership.

  21. Thought I would make a comment about how I talked to my 10 year olds today (after they watched a school news site video about it) but while making my way to the bottom to comment I read the comments and your replies and so instead I’ll just say that i adore you. I am so grateful that you use your platform to speak so powerfully and your responses to a couple of these comments made my day!

  22. I live in Tennessee and had to wake up today knowing that our capital and all we stand for was under siege by backwards terrorists, who are just like people I live close to and see driving their pickup truck with their trump flags flying. It sicknesses me to see the old men wearing their maga trucker hats and t-shirts and then talking about church events. How Christianity and pure hatred has been linked hand in hand is bewildering. The devil is dancing over this and the irony of madness has been missed by these ‘christians’.

    How the Republicans can act surprised is beyond me. trump deliberately sent a violent mob to them yet they are not all screaming impeachment. trump would eat his children if it served his best interest. he is a mad and bad man and must be removed and sent to jail. Our country needs for him to behind bars for so many crimes.

  23. I think it could be a good thing that has happened, maybe? Hear me out. It’s terrible and atrocious that there is so much white supremacy in the world but we (the white people) have tricked ourselves into believing that this is all in the past – for as long as everything is rosy enough for us personally we can do the bare minimum and call it progress. When these sleeper cells of extremists are quiet, that deluded utopian view is upheld. But now, a floodlight has been shone on the deep, entrenched problem that the world has. We can’t pretend anymore. A narcissist has had his tantrum and we can see clearly now that things are not how we had hoped, pretending is not an option for the us, the moderate, anymore. The moderate is the majority, the reality is that America is NOT better than this, but you could be. I’m Australian and here the discourse is “only in America” – ha! The arrogance of this, this is global. And as a moderate left-leaning white woman with an opinion and little action (a few donations counts for nothing) it’s past due for me to help. I’m sorry for not doing so sooner.

    Also, I believe it’s right for community groups to denounce the actions of their extremists, we all have them in the communities we belong to, moderate republicans – denounce yours, and do better.

  24. While Trump’s days are numbered, I’m terrified that Trumpism is here to stay and I worry that his successor won’t be a moronic buffoon. I wish America could undergo a program similar to Denazification to undo some of the brainwashing.

    (Your response to Aaron was excellent, by the way.)

  25. @designmom I love you more and more as time goes on!
    I wanted to respond under @vanessa re:from Canada but couldn’t seem to directly. ProudBoys, founding members are from Canada. We have, at minimum 2 populist governments, if not 3 roaring in Canada. I know for a fact, Trump Government communication officials came to “coach” the Ford Government. There is no “trickle up” politics” but homegrown. We have white terrorism, we have 2000 missing and murdered indigenous women, we have our own conservative politicians already calling for acts of violence against our Federal Government. As horrifying as what is happening in the USA right now, let’s not look keenly at our own side of the street and start sweeping to keep it clean.

  26. Your writing is always my favorite. Your bravado and class is something I look up to. Your response to Aaron was the absolute best part of my day. And my husband and I would give anything to ever get to be in your ward. You absolutely kick ass.

  27. When I was a kid in the Philippines, the government was overthrown. Granted the outgoing regime was incredibly corrupt and their defeat was a joyous event, but I was extremely anxious and afraid because I didn’t know if my mom was going to make it home alive from protesting. Yesterday, I started to feel like that little kid again because I don’t know if my adopted country is going to survive. History has shown that if there aren’t harsh repercussions for the Senators down to the crooked cops and rioters, it will be very, very hard to ever feel safe in the United States again in my lifetime. The insurrectionists will only get bolder and become more organized and violent. I am very angry and so scared.

    Aside from that, I am so here for your comments shutting down your trolls! I love your wit and wisdom.

  28. Our country has an oozing wound that is poisoning us from the inside out. Yesterday’s raging mob attacking our government lanced that wound and exposed its evil power for all the world to see. As many have said, Trump did not create the wound he merely unleashed it to spew upon us all.

    I don’t know what we do with those who “drank the kool aid.” In 1978, Jim Jones convinced 909 people to drink cyanide. I remember thinking that they must have been so desperate to believe in someone so delusional. I have little hope that such individuals will change their mind and believe we vigilantly protect ourselves from their delusions.

    Lets instead focus on the wounds we can heal. As a white, cis gender, heterosexual woman with financial means I only recently came to understand the privilege that helped secure my success. I only recently came to understand how the same systems that gave me access prevented so many from reaching their potential, and killed many more. That Biden referenced a text from his college age granddaughter who called out the difference in how the BLM demonstrators were treated from yesterday’s White mob — his mentioning this gave me hope. That my small MA liberal town is dealing publicly with systemic racism in our school system gives me hope. Your postings give me hope.

    I generally am a glass-is-half-full person who looks for silver linings. Perhaps, exposing this oozing wound and letting all experience its horror was needed to push those of us who do care, those of us who like you, want to do the hard work, to recommit to the challenges in front of us. And just maybe, some who were on the fence and some who were holding the cup of kool aid in their hand but, had not yet put it to their lips, perhaps they will put the cup down and join us.

    As a Jewish woman who has always been grateful that all 4 of my grandparents fled Russia and Poland when the pogroms first began I continue to believe in the future. I believe not for myself. It is for my grandchildren’s future that I hold hope in my heart.

  29. Trump, in true malignant narcissist fashion, is trying to wear anyone with a conscience down. He wants us to become cynical. He wants that cynicism to result in apathy and once we become too disillusioned to fight anymore, he can “do whatever he wants… grab ’em by the pussy”

    I always revert to this thought when he or his henchmen commit another atrocity: HE PUT BABIES IN CAGES; he is capable of anything, a veritable monster, and our outrage is what is keeping hope for change alive.

  30. The way you beautifully and completely obliterate these fucking trolls is one of the things that make living through this shit storm all worth while 😂😂😂 I am here for this all day long. You are a light, Gabby. Just knowing that people like you exist in the world is the encouragement I need to keep going. You also deserve a break when you need one, though. ❤️

  31. I’m so perplexed by it all because I keep hearing from my conservative friends (mostly family) that “they’re taking away our freedoms!” Really? What freedoms? How are they not seeing the hypocrisy? I just can’t even understand. And then all of the posts from them about how we need to turn to God and teach about Jesus and be kind and blah blah blah. These are the same family members who refuse to have any sort of relationship with me because I can’t understand their devotion to Trump. It’s so angering and unfathomable to me.

  32. Thank you so much for writing this. Knowing so many feel toss me fury and devastating I do helps. Personally, at this point, I want every Maga supporter to eat a bag of dicks. A big one.

  33. I have found Heather Cox Richardson’s writings to be helpful in placing all of these things in context.

    My family just sold our Capitol Hill rowhouse in August. Having participated in many protests over our 20 years of DC living, I never felt unsafe…until Trump took office. I’m sickened and saddened by what the citizens of our Capitol city are going through right now. And more so, of course, for the country as a whole. I do not know how we’re going to lift this stain, and I don’t have much faith in the wisdom of our leaders.

  34. My IG & FB feed are totally silent from the Christian Right, or maybe I’ve done away with them all….This frustrates me to all ends.
    There are two weeks left to pull the peach faced pit of a man, out of this ugly, sinister, White House that he himself has turned whiter over the last 4 years, pull him out in cuffs as all other criminals are taken. Put him in a paddy wagon with all the other fuckers from two days ago. We are so mad in this house!
    I do however, feel better when reading your blog, ALWAYS, the comfort you bring my soul through your words hidden throughout the sentences, as a reminder that I can be intelligent and still love Jesus is good. Thank you

  35. Your take down of Emily and Aaron were exactly the content I needed today. Thank you for your strong, articulate responses to the both of them. And thank you for the well placed and well deserved profanity. I applaud you.

  36. The best thing about Wednesday (btw, what are we going to call it? 1/6? The Insurrection? WTF Wednesday?) was a photo of someone waving a Trump flag and a Georgia flag. Except it was a Georgian flag, from the country, not the state 😂

  37. January 8: the day I read The Aaron Response. An epic takedown, one that I’m glad that you shared but wish you hadn’t need to deal with it at all (unless you wanted to, etc., etc.).

  38. NinaRose Odegaard

    I love you !!!! My daughters and I absolutely love your unapologetic, clear-thinking, rebukes of wildly ignorant, entitled, self-serving idiots.
    Thank you for your brilliant honesty. Stay safe! ♥️

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