[ Note from Design Mom: Our home tour editor, Josh Bingham, wasn’t available this week, so I’m bringing back a favorite from the archives — his own house! This home tour was originally published in January of 2017, and it’s still as gorgeous as ever. ]
I am excited to introduce you to Josh. He’s made some big changes in his life, and I couldn’t wait to show you how he’s living with his kids. I met Josh when we were in college — his taste and style and sense of humor were excellent, and have only gotten more refined through the years. His thoughts are spectacular, and I imagine they’ll change someone’s path today. Or maybe someday. (If your path needs to be changed, remember: we are all rooting for you.)
A big hug to Josh for sharing his truth – and fantastic home – with us. Enjoy!
Hi everyone. I’m Josh. I live here with my three kids. I am divorced, so my kids are here about half the time and spend about half of their time with their mom who lives nearby.
My oldest Jonah is 12. He is in junior high and is an amazing kid. Funny, kind, level-headed, sensitive, and sweet. He was a big skate boarder and scooter for a while, and recently has really gotten into video editing and loves to post funny things online. He is a great older brother.
Noel is my 11 year old; he and Jonah are about 18 months apart. He is hilarious, kind, and has the greatest laugh on earth. We are currently trying to catch all the Pokemon in the world. Noel is also on the autism spectrum, so he loves to have some alone time. Sometimes he needs a break from the other kids and is wise enough to know when to take it.
And Lila is my seven year old. She will conquer the world someday. Funny, kind, totally fearless, and wise in a really crazy way. Nothing phases her and she rolls with the punches. I’m wrapped around her little finger.
We’re in the Millcreek part of Salt Lake. When I was a kid growing up in Utah I thought I could NEVER live here as an adult. I moved to LA for a while, then back to SLC, then to Portland, and then back to Salt Lake City about six years ago.
It’s home now. I think I will stay forever.
I love Salt Lake. It is a little liberal heart in the center of a very conservative town. And it has such fun restaurants, bars, theater, etc. The new Eccles theater that just opened downtown is amazing and the greatest Italian restaurant I have ever eaten at outside of Rome is in the random strip mall by the Albertsons about a mile down the road from me. Sometimes it’s so beautiful here it literally takes my breath away – I never realized until after I moved away for the first time. I wish Utah was a bit more diverse, both in people and attitudes, and I think that is changing as time goes on. I have so many family and friends here I can’t imagine leaving.
My ex wife and I bought this house when we moved here from Portland. I had been laid off from my job in Portland (it was right in the middle of the recession) and we decided that if I was going to potentially be without work for a while it would make more sense to be in Utah where we both had family to help us out. It was August at the time and we had a visit already scheduled the next week, and we made the decision at the last second to just move back to Utah, instead of just visiting, so our kids could start school there in September.
We drove out and then I flew back to Portland with my sister and packed the whole house up and drove it back to Utah. We lived in my in-laws’ basement for a while while I looked for work. Once I found work we started house hunting and found this one. It was perfect for us.
We didn’t want a house with a lot of square footage in a traditional basement because sometimes they are so dark and unusable. This is a classic 70s split level that are all over Utah, so the basement windows are actually really big. What really sold us was that the previous owners had built a loft type room above the two car garage, just off the kitchen (it’s the room with the TV in the photos.) It gives us a TON of extra space and keeps the kids close by.
There wasn’t a lot of work that needed to be done. I think before us an older couple had lived here and when they passed their kids went through and freshened everything up before the put the house on the market. So the carpet was new, the walls had new paint, the roof was new, etc. Nothing was particularly fancy or high end, but it was clean and big and had a beautiful back yard that backed up to a park. We were thrilled when we got it.
The only thing we did when we moved in was paint the kitchen cabinets. They are the original and had been repainted white. The paint job was sort of thin and we knew we would need to do another coat anyway, so we just decided to do something interesting. For a long time they were sort of an apple green, which I loved, but when I repainted the living room the merlot color this year, they were sort of fighting with each other, so I went with the calmer grey.
Amy and I were married for 11 years. She was/is my best friend. We were LDS and had met in Rome, Italy as missionaries in our early 20s. We were friends for many years after we returned to the states and then got married in 2002.
I had know my whole life that I was gay. When I was a young teenager, I felt like it was part of me that was “broken.” I had always been taught that Jesus can fix anything that is broken, so I felt like if I was a good enough LDS kid that it would go away. I wanted to be like all the other boys: grow up, serve a Mormon mission, get married, and have kids. I never even considered the idea that I could come out.
As I got older I realized it wouldn’t go away, but I felt like, again, if I lived righteously enough that I could control it and never act on it. I NEVER told anyone and never acted on any of my impulses. I didn’t have a lot of friends who were boys in high school; I didn’t know how to connect with them.
Looking back now, it’s because I wanted to be in love with a boy and I wanted him to be in love with me, but that wasn’t possible so I just was weird and awkward and uncomfortable around them. I had a lot of great friends who were girls and had a pretty great childhood/adolescence.
When Amy and I got married, even though we were best friends and got along really well, there was something missing in our marriage. She didn’t know I was gay, so I was always hiding something from her, which meant there was a certain level of intimacy and connection that was missing. We did our best, worked really hard to make things work, and had three amazing kids.
After about 11 years, the weight of it all became too much. We were going through some other personal changes and were discussing what those things would mean for our family and I finally came out. I don’t want to speak for how Amy was feeling, but she was a champion from day one. Incredibly kind and supportive and loving.
At first we didn’t know WHAT it would all mean. Would we stay married? Would we have some sort of open marriage? Would we divorce? We talked about a lot of options and after a few months we both felt like divorce made the most sense for us and for our kids to be happy. At this time I still wasn’t really out to very many people, so we decided to take our time and move through the process slowly. Our biggest commitment from day one was to make sure our kids were happy and protected.
We always said that the decisions we made didn’t have to make sense to anyone but ourselves. So we have always sort of done things in our own ways. For a while we had a shared apartment downtown and we would take turns spending nights there while the other person slept at home with the kids. We wanted to keep them in the same place, same schools, etc. Keep as much constant in their lives as we could. They didn’t choose any of this, so it didn’t seem fair to uproot their lives.
For the most part our friends and family have been great. I am sure it is weird for some of them and I am sure some of them were shocked – to be honest, probably more by the divorce than by me coming out – but they’ve had our backs since the beginning.
Divorce is always hard, so matter how good the circumstances, there have been some hard conversations and fights (both amongst ourselves and with family members/friends) but I think we are in a good place. When decisions were hard I just kept thinking “What makes the most sense for the kids?” and would go with that.
And through all of this Amy has been amazing. She is so kind and patient and supportive, even though she was the one lied to for 11 years. She has every right to hate me and she has always been supportive and loving, even though I know she is going through her own stuff. She’s amazing.
I came out to my kids in the same conversation where we told them about the divorce. We told the two older boys first, and told Lila a few months later. It was one of the hardest and most painful things I have ever done.
I was in therapy at the time and the best advice that my therapist gave me as I prepping for the conversation was “You don’t have to stick the landing.” Meaning, this is not a one time conversation.
We talked about it many times since then and will talk about it many times in the future. It’s just part of our family story, so I didn’t have to have the perfect answers and the perfect explanation in that moment. It was hard. I was terrified. My boys both cried initially and I felt like I had blown up their worlds. But Amy and I told them we loved them, tried to help them see what parts of our lives wouldn’t be changing, and went from there. Once they understood that they weren’t going to have to choose one of us to live with they dealt with it pretty well.
One funny thing is that my oldest son asked “If you guys get a divorce are any of our rules changing?” “Like what?” we said. “Like, can we get a dog now?” he asked. (Something we had always told them we would never do.) It was a well-played move. It was one of the lowest moments of my life and he slid in that request. Sure enough, a few months later we adopted Korra, our pit bull/grey hound mix.
Telling Lila was just as hard. She as little – only five – so she just got really quiet and sad. She didn’t even really have words to talk about what I am sure was going through her heart and mind. It sucked. But she is resilient and bounced back. She told me a few months later she was pretty sure she would have a boyfriend before I ever did – and so far that is proving to be all too true.
They have adjusted quite well. It is such a different time. I don’t want to say for a second that homophobia is done. Especially homophobia directed towards trans people and people of color. But kids today are so much less phased by it than I would have been as a kid.
I remember a month or so after I came out my oldest, Jonah, told me that he had told his friends. I was shocked “What did they say?” I asked. “Did they tease you for having a gay dad?” He just sort of laughed and asked why any of his friends would care that I was gay? I couldn’t believe it.
Again, I am not naive. I am sure there will be times that my kids will struggle with this or be teased about it or wish our family was “normal” but for the most part they are amazing. They are outspoken advocates. My daughter marches in Pride parades with me decked out in rainbows. My son tells kids not to use the word gay as an insult because there is nothing wrong with being gay. They are better humans than me by a mile and I am so lucky to be their dad.
You know that old saying, “Truth finds a way of coming out?” Well, it’s an old saying for a reason. You can’t keep things this big hidden. It hurts you and unknowingly hurts your family anyway.
And I think that is why so many people stay closeted and hiding. They wonder what will happen to their family?
But I am a much better dad now than I was when I was closeted. I think being in the closet caused me so much pain and stress that I didn’t recognize that I was much unhappier as a person. I was short tempered and grouchy and I think I am so much calmer and kinder now. My life is far from perfect and I have things I am working through, but overall my happiness is so much higher.
If someone is in the same or a similar situation to me, I would say this: You’re going to be okay. It is so scary when you are standing on that cliff. But you’ll come out fine on the other side. Find people to be in your corner. Find people to talk to. You can message me if you want. And do what feels right in your heart and do it when you can be safe – like if you are a teenager and you are afraid coming out might mean getting kicked out on the street, you might need to wait to come out until you have somewhere you can go or resources that can help you.
People are gonna get hurt. It’s unavoidable. But wounds heal and people find new truth and happiness. I have never met a gay person who said they wished they’d never come out, even though often peoples’ lives are totally torn apart.
You don’t know the damage the closet does to you until you are out of it. It’s worth it. And you will have a huge community who has gone through exactly what you have gone through who is here to support you and help you.
This is the same home that Amy and I lived in before the divorce. After she officially moved out I felt a real need to make it feel like my space instead of our space. I started with my bedroom – partially because Amy had taken a dresser we had in there with her but mostly because I needed that space to be mine and whole.
I worked a room or so at a time and picked up pieces here and there to freshen things up. The last changes were the living room. Again, Amy had moved into a bigger place and wanted to take a vintage sectional we had in there, and since I needed to get a new sofa I decided to just redo the whole space.
When I am designing I think first about how I want the space to feel and how I want to live in it. And then I start picking pieces from there. For example, in my living room, I wanted it to feel masculine, but with an edge that said a gay man lived there. I wanted it to be a space where I could gather with friends and have drinks and snacks and chat and laugh because what in life is better than that?
So it needed lots of seating – the two ottomans under the console and using the backless bench in front of the railing – and lots of places to set a drink down, so there are several tables that are easy to drag around and tuck into spots.
My friend Debi, who is a designer, found the wall color and it terrified me but when I painted a swatch of it on the wall it made my heart flutter. I would grin every time I saw it so I knew I had to do it.
And that is I think my biggest things with design. Buy things you love because you love them and they’ll find a way to fit into your life. Don’t buy things because they are trendy or because someone else did it. You’ll get tired of those things.
Your house should be full of things that make you happy. For example, I used to work in a furniture store and when that pink leopard painting came off the truck I took one look at it, walked out to the register and paid for it, and then went and crammed it into the back of my Prius. It is probably too big for my space and is sort of crazy but it makes me so glad when I see it, and it is the first thing I see when I walk in every day. It’s my sigil.
Even though my ex is amazing, when you are divorced you are often operating as a single parent. It’s 100% on you to get dinner done and do homework and keep the laundry moving and clean up the dog vomit. And sometimes I’m a grouchy a-hole. I hope my kids forget those times. My hat is off to parents who are single parents 100% of the time. At least I get some days off.
What I hope they remember is that I love them and I have their back. I hope they remember that they have TWO homes that are full of love and traditions and good times. I hope they always remember that their mom and I would do everything and anything for them. And, selfishly, I hope that someday they recognize how hard what Amy and I did in me coming out and ending our marriage was, and that we did it so that we could be happier and be better parents to them. I hope someday they see the courage in that and maybe draw on it when they have to do scary painful things in their own lives.
My kids make me laugh every day. They are hilarious and they appreciate my dorky sense of humor, so I always have an audience for my dumb jokes. They understand my need to sometimes be lazy. I love to say to Noel, my 11 year old, “Tomorrow is Saturday and guess what we are going to do? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!” and he gets a big grin on his face. Then we spend the morning with all three of them (and the dog) in my bed with us all staring at our devices and me drinking a big cup of coffee. That I will miss. I will miss the times where all three of them are playing together and laughing at something stupid that makes no sense to me. They take good care of each other.
I wish I had known sooner that it was okay to love myself and be who I was. There are so many things in my life that would be so much easier if I had come out in my twenties. But if I had done that I would have a totally different life. I wouldn’t have these amazing kids if I had never gotten married under false pretenses. So I would never in a million years wish I could go back and do it over differently. I am so glad my life path led me to this point.
When I had come out to Amy and was trying to decide if I was going to come out to the rest of the world and live as an out gay man (which had big ramifications in my spiritual life as well since I was a member of a religion that doesn’t quite know what to do with gay people yet) the thing that pushed me over the edge and made me decide to be out and open was when I thought about what I would say to one of my kids if they came out to me. Would I want them to hide it and try and enter a heterosexual marriage and just soldier through? Hell no. I would want them to love and be proud of who they are. So I decided to do the same thing for myself.
So while I can’t tell my past-self something, I do want to reach out to kids and teens who are struggling and let them know they are worthy of all the love and light that the world has for them. They are not broken. They are not wrong. They don’t need to change or be fixed. They are perfect. And beautiful. And we need them. Just like they are.
Carol Lynn Pearson, who is an LDS author and poet who writes a lot about the often contradictory ideas of homosexuality and religion, said in one of her books (this is not an exact quote, but I can get the quote for you if you want it.), “You did not choose to walk this path. But you must walk it. It is yours to walk. And you can walk it with fear and shame. Or you can walk it with pride and with your head held high.”
I choose pride.
–-
Cheers. Full on cheers. “I wish I had known sooner that it was okay to love myself and be who I was.” And then this: “I want to reach out to kids and teens who are struggling and let them know they are worthy of all the love and light that the world has for them. They are not broken. They are not wrong. They don’t need to change or be fixed. They are perfect. And beautiful. And we need them. Just like they are.” Josh, you were a gift to a whole lot of readers today, of that I am sure. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So, divorce. Specifically, living with kids post-divorce. How do you do it? Does the decor and space planning matter more? Or less? What have you learned along the way and what would you do differently? I know this is a tough subject, but some of the most rewarding conversations begin with such difficult issues. (Also wondering if your post-divorce home includes a pink leopard painting? Shame if it doesn’t!)
P.S. – Are you living with your own kids in a unique way? Are you interested in sharing your home and experiences with us? Let me know! We love to be inspired! And it’s a lot of fun…I promise! I should also mention, I have a goal to bring more diverse points of view to Design Mom this year. So if you don’t see yourself or your community reflected here, let’s make it happen — send in your details, or recommend a friend! Take a peek at all the homes in my Living With Kids series here.
Photographs by Meikel Reece.
Thanks you so much for your honesty and courage. If I could like this post a zillion times I would. Rad house. Rad guy. Wishing you and all of your family wonderful things in the future. <3
Thank you!! I love being called Rad. It makes me feel like an awesome kid again.
This was an interesting post to read. It hit close home because, as much as I have always defended equality and freedom for LGBT+ people, and I will always do, I have really struggled with a close friend of mine who recently came out of the closet. When they did, they worded it all as having always been out, just never having the opportunity to talk about it. Except, they were very much in the closet, had plenty of opportunities to open upand instead played with me and my feelings for a very long time, keeping me confused while they sorted out their own struggles and until they found somebody to be happy with. In doing so, they broke my trust in them beyond repair and helped push me deeper into some personal issues. Part of me is adamant about my beliefs and wants to be able to forgive and forget. Part of me, however, cannot. For that reason, I found your story very inspiring, full of the feelings that I wish that one day will naturally come to me, instead of forcing them. For now, I am focusing on trying to keep that friendship alive for the sake of my values while still being fair to myself. One day, however, I wish I can truly say that I forgave my friend, and that I can accept what led them to act like that without further delving into my own pain and fears. Honesty is truly the best thing we can offer in our relationships, both to others and to ourselves. Love and acceptance are, too.
Susie,
As Josh’s ex-wife, maybe I understand a bit where you’re coming from? A few thoughts: what you are dealing with is betrayal from someone you trusted, who seems to have done it intentionally and unapologetically, and that’s never okay. You can separate being an LGBT ally and having a friend who really hurt you. It is not easy leaving those feelings behind and “forgiving”, no matter how noble and kind you are. It’s especially difficult when the person is receiving cheers and accolades for coming out (and rightly so) and you feel like collateral damage. I know in our case that Josh’s intent was never to be deceitful, and he was trying his best in a situation that was very unfair to him (that’s a drastic understatement). The pain and hurt is still there, though, and it’s important to recognize that you have a right to feel it and know yourself well enough to know if the continued relationship is good for you.
I have children with Josh, and we have a history that started long before we got married, but I understand that, if those things weren’t the case, I probably wouldn’t have been so understanding and magnanimous. I’m not sure ANYTHING came or comes naturally to me — it’s a lot of work that I consider worth it. But go easy on yourself; you’re doing great.
-Amy
Hello Amy,
Oh, thanks a lot for your sweet reply. You definitely got some of the mix of feelings I have right! To me, what hurts the most is the lack of honesty at the end, rather than all the time that I was, in one way or another, lied to. No matter how much I hurt, I can get behind how painful it must be to struggle with your very own identity, and so if they had come out acknowledging that it took time and courage, I would have been still upset but it would have been different, I believe. However, to be told that everything was fine and out when it clearly was not only adds up to anger and distrust. I have never voiced my disappointment and hurt to my friend, just as I never voiced my feelings towards them because they were always so close yet so distant; now it’s me who doesn’t want out, because of pride, because we have common friends that I don’t want to know about my private issues, because of my wish to be graceful and forgiving…it’s hard to explain. Part of my pain comes from issues that I have to learn to deal with yet. Part of it, however, could have been avoided so easily just by saying a few words, or even just by not confusing me, even less if ‘everything was fine since forever’.
But I digress and I wouldn’t want to turn this into a dark monologue. :) Your story is all the more inspiring to me because, as someone who was raised Roman Catholic in a very progressive family but still distanced from the church partially due to its stance in several topics, I have an inkling of how very difficult it must have been for both of you to navigate the storm both inside yourselves and outside while being very devote in a particular faith. It only speaks even further of how brave, graceful and thoughtful both of you are. It’s what we need instead of making ourselves bitter and miserable with imposed expectations to fit into one cookie cutter. Bravo to that!
I think Amy said everything better than I could have (no surprise there) and I agree wholeheartedly with what she shared. I was careful in this piece to not voice how Amy “felt” about the whole thing (which is a question I am asked all the time) because the reality is I don’t know. I know her actions towards me were loving and generous, but I know her well enough to know there was struggle and heartbreak underneath that she was dealing with and didn’t choose (rightfully so) to share with me.
I will say this for your LGBT friend (and take this with a grain of salt, because obviously I don’t know the specifics of the situation.) The closet is an insidious place. It is damaging and terrifying and hurtful. Coming out the the closet is also scary and horrible and exciting and all those things wrapped up. Perhaps in their conversation with you, your friend wasn’t being their best self. Perhaps they were in survival mode and were dealign with what they could when the could and it seemed dismissive to you. I certainly don’t know them, but I remember coming out and I remember how lost I felt sometime.
That being said, I think what Amy said about being 100% entitled to your feelings is true, and doesn’t make you any less of an ally to this friend or to the LGBT community. I hope you find some peace and navigate your way through this.
Beautiful home and an even more beautiful story. Congratulations to Josh for living your authentic self and for having the foresight to marry such a good woman. It was so nice to read how you have worked together to make this an easier transition for your children. I do love that we are raising our children in a kinder, more accepting world. Even in the church attitudes are (slowly) changing and our youth are leading the way. Thank you for sharing your story and best wishes to you all in the future. (May you find your boyfriend soon!)
Thank you! I am happy with the inroads we are making as a society too. And I am certain (usually?) that that boyfriend is out there. I am just trying to find him.
“The decisions we made didn’t have to make sense to anyone but ourselves.” I needed to hear this!
And your house is gorgeous!
Thanks for sharing everything
Thank you! I sound much better on paper than I do in real life, but that mantra has served me well.
What amazing warmth, love and great advice from Josh – thank you for being vulnerable and open to us all internet lurkers – THANK YOU! This has been so inspiring.
And I absolutely love your home! So so so rad. It feels confident, warm, creative with a cheekiness and humor. Thanks again for sharing your home and amazing story with us all – your children are so lucky to have a parent like you!
And a mother like Amy! She sounds amazing.
She is truly the greatest. We’re all lucky to have her in our lives. Thanks for your kind words.
This is so good! So brave. So amazing. The world needs more honesty. Thank you Josh for sharing your heart with us. We are better for it!
Thank you!! I appreciate your comment.
I like that this house looks like a regular person’s house, just turned up a notch.
And of course the story is one of the most compelling ones I ‘ve read in a while; I would never have thought I would find it on design mom! I’m glad that Josh and Amy’s families are in a good place.
Thank you so much! Believe me, this is very much a “regular person’s house.” The kitchen floor is laminate, the hardware is spray painted and a good half of my stuff is from Target and Ikea. And thanks for your kind words about Amy and I.
Great post. Goosebumps all the way.
That’s so wonderful to hear.
Is it bad that when I saw that Xanadu quote in the first picture, I thought, “Oh man, I know where this is going.” ;)
Props to Josh and especially to Amy. I’m glad you’ve worked it out as peacefully as you could and you’re both living your best lives. Josh, you’re place is AMAZING (those paint colors!!!)! Thanks for sharing your story and encouraging others. I’ve always been curious about gay people in the LDS church (or any other strict religions); it just seems so stifling for anyone that doesn’t fit the mold.All the best!
Thank you! And yes, there are many “tells” in my life. The Xanadu quote is near and dear to me and has a long story behind it and I tear up when I read it. But that’s a whole other Oprah. Thanks for your nice words!
We often say “kids today” in a negative context (just like the generation before us did) but I love that Jonah asked why any of his friends would care that his dad is gay. It just shows you the progress towards understanding that we are making over time. It warms the heart.
Agreed – I think “kids today” are amazing. They are so much more socially aware and sensitive than I think I was as a kid. They’ll do great things.
Bravo Josh! Your words are inspiring and your eye for interior design is right on. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for reading and responding and saying such nice things!
Love your decor, it’s all fabulous and so unique without being too trendy and predictable. Well done. Tell me more about the woven wall hanging/tapestry piece– I loooove it!
Thank you!! I love it too! It is a great piece of art and has a lot of visual impact but adds something different to the space. I got it at a local store. Its from a company called Surya, so you might be able to find a local dealer. However, I have seen some really similar beautiful ones at Target lately. You should check them out!!
I was equally touched by this post as I was enamored by the decor. Thank you, Josh, for sharing your heart AND your talents. You are clearly a wonderful man who is doing a wonderful job handling a tough transition in your life. Your kids seem amazing! PS: Carol Lynn Pearson is in my ward!
Thank you! Please tell Carol Lynn I love her. I have never met her but her words have been so powerful for me over the last few years. The work she does is so valuable.
I’m catching up on blog reading and was so pleased to I didn’t let this post pass me by. This is one of my favorite Living with Kids posts. I love seeing parenting through a father’s eyes. We don’t see it as much as we should.
Josh, your home and your words are beautiful. I laughed about the part of the church not knowing what to do about gay people. Those were almost the exact words a priest told me when I was 10. It is my sincere hope that the answer is love. The same love you and Amy have for each other, your kids and yourselves. Love.
Thank you. And all the same to you.
Brave and real. One of my favorite posts on Design Mom. Thank you!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! And that pink tiger is extra fab. My brother & his girlfriend live just north of you in Sugar House. Both from NYS, they agree that SLC is more interesting and diverse all the time. As long as they take me to the Red Iguana when I visit, who am I to argue?!
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One of my favorite posts and a beautiful stylish home. Thanks for sharing Josh and gabby.
It is a beautifully written article. Thank you for sharing your life and your enviable yet livable home. I’m sorry I’m a bit obsessive, but can you also share the name of this restaurant you mention?
I wasn’t a reader when this was first shared, so it was all new to me. Thank goodness you and Amy found each other! You sound like such wonderful parents and people. I’m so glad you were able to choose to walk the path you are taking now. Thank you for sharing your story and your lovely home.
Thank you! I feel pretty lucky to have found Amy, too. This journey would have looked very different wit someone else. She’s a great co-parent and friend.
What a beautiful read, one of my all time favorites. Thank you so much for sharing so selflessly.
Thank you!
This might just be my favorite tour ever. The BIG LOVE, the design and the encouragement are all great examples of living the best kind of life. Thank you.
Oh- and I like “You don’t have to stick the landing”.
Many years later, I still think about “you don’t have to stick the landing.” Its such great, simple advice for so many situations. And thanks for your nice words.
Everything about this is beautiful – the honesty, the ability and willingness to do the hard things, the aesthetic, the encouragement, and, most of all, the very evident love and care for his children and ex-wife. Cheers to you, Josh! You’re amazing.
Thank you! I always want to be honest about my story because it is soooooo many peoples ‘story and the story of so many people who could never share it.
I loved reading this again. So much love and wisdom here. I’m a little misty eyed.
Hi! Loved your story – you are amazing. My sister came out after 20+ years of marriage and two kids. She is so much happier now and I am so thrilled for her. May I ask where the large blue and gold painting above your sofa is from? And WHERE you found that incredible orange couch!??? Thank you for sharing your journey, Josh.
The couch is from a Mitchell Gold Bob Williams – I am not sure if they make that model anymore. And the painting is from an art company called Wendover Art. And thank you! I/m glad to hear your sister is doing well!
What a PERFECT choice of re-post Gabby. I needed this breath of fresh air in the midst of so much darkness in the world right now. I’m so grateful for Josh and Amy and their kids sharing their story and for loving each other so well! Also, props to the therapist for the advice, “You don’t have to stick the landing.” So poignant!
Thank you! I feel like I should be paying royalty payments to that therapist for that comment. I still think about it all the time, many years later.
How did I miss this post when it first came out?! I am so glad you are living your most authentic life, and I so appreciate you for sharing it with us. My son came out a couple of years ago and it was so freeing. I appreciate you sharing your truth and you have made it so much easier for younger gay people like my son to come out. I admire your courage and am so glad you found a way to be true to yourself, not to mention provide a loving (and really cool!) sanctuary for your kiddos, and be an amazing writer to boot. I’m a fan xoxo
Awww, thank you. And I am glad your son has found some freedom in his life. I’m so grateful to the people who went before me and did brave things too. As we all live more authentically, it gives others the freedom to do the same.
I’m also surprised that I don’t remember when this was first posted; thanks for sharing again! The house is lovely, but why no picture of the dog? :-)
Thank you for also sharing the story of love in your family.
Thanks for your kind words!