By Gabrielle.
This is the story of how The Treehouse, our home in Oakland, came to be ours.
This is the long version of the story. I’m still figuring out how to tell it in a short version.
Starting last summer, when we embarked on our final year in France, we started looking online at real estate in Colorado. We had loved living in Colorado and our plans never strayed from moving back. We just needed to find a house. We wanted to buy something and settle down. In fact, that was our original plan when we first moved to Colorado, but at the time, we weren’t able to find a house, and then we got distracted by France. : )
We really wanted to buy a house before we moved back, because I was overwhelmed by the idea of moving twice — first into a rental, and then into a purchased house, possibly in two different school districts. Ugh. Purchasing a house and moving directly in sounded ever so much more appealing.
So we searched. In every Denver neighborhood. In the suburbs. In the mountains. We did specific searches. We did broad searches. Occasionally we would find something we were interested in — and I would sometimes share our finds on Facebook. But nothing was quite right. Or a house might get grabbed up before we had a chance to really consider it.
There’s no question we were being really picky. We were looking for an extraordinary house. Living in La Cressonnière had changed us. It was such an amazing home. I remember returning from our trip to Venice, driving up to the farmhouse and acknowledging it was every bit as lovely as anything we had seen on vacation.
We both work at home, and shoot photos at home, and film at home, and spend so much time at home. Home matters. We were determined to find an extraordinary house that we could really fall in love with. That was a joy to drive up to. That was a treat to live in. It didn’t need to be in perfect condition, but it needed really good bones. And it turns out, that sort of house is hard to find.
By January, we were a little nervous. Would we be able to find a house? Did we need to extend our time in France? Should we build? What are our other options? I was chatting about our house hunt with my sister, Jordan, and she mentioned we should look at the Bay Area. I shrugged off her suggestion and told her we were priced out of the housing market in San Francisco (and every big city — New York and L.A., too!) But she tried to convince me. She reminded me that we don’t have a commute, and that if we looked further out of the city, there were some great deals. So I did a real estate search by map that covered the entire area, and looked for houses big enough to hold our family and in our price range. But alas, it was just what I thought. We were out-priced.
Except.
There was this one house. It was big and yellow. It had 5 bedrooms. It was on 2 acres and backed up to a park! It was 100 years old and needed vast renovations (which is my kind of project). It was in El Cerrito — a little north of Berkeley and Oakland. There was certainly nothing else out there like it — every house around it was on a tiny plot of land. And it was in our price range. A miracle!!
We asked Jordan to go check it out in person. She took tons of photos, even made a little video, and emailed everything to us. She told us that it needed a lot of work, but it was a really neat house. And we felt like the 2 acres made it a no brainer.
We knew it was a long shot, but we felt compelled to go for it. It was an extraordinary house. And even though we hadn’t seriously considered the area, there were strong draws for us to San Francisco. My father grew up in the Bay Area and I had been raised with visits to my grandparents in Menlo Park and San Carlos, so I had some roots there. Plus, I have a sister and brother in the area. Plus, our fields of work are centered there, and Ben of Pinterest’s advice to move where your field of work is headquartered had stayed with me since I’d heard him speak those words at Alt Summit 2012.
So Jordan recommended a local real estate agent (which we needed in order to make a bid on the house), and he recommended a mortgage agent, and she helped us get pre-qualified, and we bid on the house. The conversation with Jordan, to the search, to the bidding on the house, took place over about 5 days. It was fast. And a little nuts.
Sadly, the next week, we found out that not only was our offer not accepted, there were also over 20 other bids, and the top bid was 200,000+ beyond the asking price. Yikes!
Our conclusion: clearly, that house was an exception, it had been priced too low, and our first impression — that we were priced out of the area — was indeed true. But we didn’t feel too bad. It had been good to go through the work of getting pre-qualified. It had been over a decade since we’d owned a house and it was good to remember what the buying process is like. So we abandoned our search in the Bay Area as quickly as we had picked it up, and we returned our focus to Colorado.
And we were feeling more exploratory at that point, so we broadened our search. We kept searching Colorado, but we worked with a real estate agent in Santa Barbara, too. That’s where Ben Blair’s father grew up, so we felt roots there as well.
But, now we were on the radar of the real estate agent in Oakland, and once in awhile he would send a listing he thought we’d like. I eventually wrote him an email and told him we simply weren’t interested. We had only bid on the yellow house because it was extraordinary. And the very few options in our price range in the Bay Area just weren’t appealing to us. The good stuff was too expensive. He totally got it.
But a few weeks later, he emailed again. He had a house he thought we would really like. It was being privately sold (instead of publicly listed) because the couple who owned it were older and they didn’t want the hassle of open houses and bidding wars. Since there was no listing, he had no link or photos to show us, but thought we would really like the house. We were grateful he thought of us, but without photos to look at, we didn’t give it much thought. And I didn’t want to bother my siblings to go take photos — I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.
Several weeks later, he emailed about the same house again, encouraging us to send someone to look at it and take photos. It was now March, and we were feeling so unsettled we decided to give it a try. So we asked Jordan again, and she took photos and made a little video again. And as she was driving away, she called us in France and said, “I don’t what the price is, but if you can afford it, you should buy this house.”
The photos she sent us are the photos in this post! These shots feature the furniture and belongings of the previous owners. (Jordan actually sent about 100 photos, so this is 20% of what we saw.)
When we saw the images, we fell in love with the house immediately. It’s a mid-century house with unusual architecture. And it’s completely surrounded by forest. It’s in a residential neighborhood, but there are so many trees, we can’t see our neighbors — it feels totally private! The house is built into the side of a hill and even on the main floor, it feels elevated, like you are high above the forest floor. The main floor is surrounded by decks and patios, and the 2nd floor has two decks as well. And because the weather here is wonderful year round, it’s really designed for indoor/outdoor living. There’s even a tiny stream in the back yard. Everyone that has visited us so far has commented that being here is like being in a treehouse.
It’s definitely an extraordinary home.
So mid-March, we bid on the house, and our real estate agent suggested we write a letter to the homeowners as well. Turns out the letter did the trick. There was another (apparently better) bid, but they accepted our offer! We couldn’t believe it!! We kept asking each other: Is this for real? Are we really moving to Oakland? To California?? After all this time, are we going to be homeowners again?
Through April and May we applied for our mortgage. That process, made more difficult by being overseas, just about did us in. I swear, it was like a 40 hour per week job. Nuts. But the sellers were incredibly patient. And so was our accountant. And so was our mortgage agent. And eventually, it happened! The official closing occurred mid-June.
And on July 15th, we flew from Paris to San Francisco, rented a van, drove to Oakland, and saw this house — which we had bought — for the very first time.
This post is long enough as it is. So I’ll save details about the number of bedrooms, the renovation work that needs to be done, and the furniture we inherited, for next week. But I have to acknowledge how lucky we feel. If it hadn’t been a private sale, with owners who weren’t intent on getting the highest possible price, we never could have bought it. This house is such a gift, a treasure. We couldn’t feel more gratitude about calling it our own.
Friends, I’d love to hear: have any of you ever bought a house without seeing it in person first? (I’m sure we’re not alone!) Or, do you think we’re crazy?
P.S. — Speaking of crazy, I’m afraid this move has pushed me over the edge. I’m definitely struggling. During the year after we moved to New York, I experienced a full-on breakdown, and happily, it hasn’t reached that level. But my mental state feels more serious than a typical “down” day for me. If things don’t improve over the weekend, I’ll see a doctor to get some help. Thanks for your patience as my publishing schedule has been so erratic this month. And for those of you waiting on emails from me, my sincere apologies. We’ll get things sorted out eventually!
Hang in there, Gabby. These past few years have been an extraordinary challenge for me, and I have often found the peace/joy/uplift/laugh/solution/recipe/beauty/inspiration I have needed in blogs, including yours and Jordan’s. You’ve been a lifeline to me & I wish I had a blog to give you, like you’ve given one to us. All I can say is take the time you need, cry all you need to, allow yourself time just staring into those beautiful trees. Re-read Harry Potter, man, if you think it will help (it’s good therapy for me). Everything will get taken care of eventually.
Hold on! Lots of love from me & Mary Lenox. xox
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiJ7CLu3zDI
Hang in there. I can relate, 2 moves and babe number 4 in the past twelve months! Praying for you.
I understand. My husband and I have been through probably the most traumatic period of our lives over the past nine months and now that things are seemingly calming down, I feel myself struggling quite a bit. Thank you for being honest and real. I hope the cloud lifts soon.
I have been thinking about you. We have never met, but I read your blog everyday. You inspire me to be a better wife/mother/friend.. I have 5 children and I can totally relate to extreme lows during seasons of my life. I hope that you are getting the help that you need. Take care of yourself.
I still remember how I felt moving back from England to California. I hadn’t yet experienced depression, nor was I a mom, or a wife. Nevertheless. Billboards, malls, disposable/temporary buildings. It was a shock, to say the least.
I hope that you heal soon!
It’s beautiful!
It’s weird how things work out sometimes. Enjoy living in your new home!
I always appreciate honesty. So many of us struggle with our sanity and sometimes wonder if others do too. Praying for you and your family!
Amazing home. Amazing story! Praying God will restore your mind and soul. Hugs!
Welcome to the Bay Area! I love that you found a couple interested in selling their house to the “right” people and not necessarily the highest bidder.
You’re in now – take deep breath and lots of long walks.
How wonderful to have such a nice view to help cope with the trauma of the move and everything else. Seriously. I feel like looking at my trees and taking deep breaths helped me be a little less crazy when we moved after a psycho year.
Welcome to the Bay Area! We just moved to Berkeley from New York on July 18th. We’re loving it, but I am a little lonely. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager, so if you ever want to get together for tea and a good venting, send me an email.
Enjoy your new home!
thank you for being so honest about your mental state after a stressful move. I can’t begin to imagine the difficulty of an international move piled on top of finding a new home and add to that new schools for all of your children. may you find some quiet, peaceful time to yourself to recover. you have a beautiful, wonderful family. and what a fantastic home!
THinking of you. I consider myself a stable person but have had two “break downs” related to major career transitions. As a therapist/social worker, I was at first hard on myself for not being “strong” enough. The fact is, we are all human. Please try and remind yourself that no matter how bad things feel, in time, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Going through this before may also serve as a source of strength. You know you’ve gotten through this before. In addition to a doctor/therapist, try and find some sort of consistency and spend time with those who you love who make you feel at home no matter where you are.
You are a beautiful person and I hope that some of the beauty that you’ve shared with the world will come back to you! :D xoxoxo God bless you all, you amazing family, you!
Perhaps we are living reverse parallel lives…
We bought our home in Normandy … near the beautiful little town of Sees … without seeing it in person. One look at the pictures sent to us via email and we were, well, sold. We flew into Paris, rented a car and crossed our fingers.
We weren’t disappointed.
From the lane across the way we can see the spires of the town’s cathedral and everyday the roosters wake us — although thankfully, the roosters crow later in France.
My daughter was married this summer in that cathedral. It was like a fairy tale. I’m still absorbing the hour, the day, the week.
We live full-time in Santa Maria, not too far from Oakland really. (In fact, my son will begin college next week at UC Berkeley.)
I miss my little cottage in Normandy. I miss the goat cheese, the markets and yes, the butter. But we will be back. And I hope, dear DesignMom, that our paths may cross. Meantime, you are in my thoughts and prayers as you adjust to your very new life.
Jennifer
Gabrielle,
My admiration for you has just tripled. We all have a supply chain fueling our energy and capacity to do want we need and want to do, and we all have disruptions in that supply chain. Well done for acknowledging this to your readers and leading the way for others by getting support and help. You’ve got class. “Dark is a way and light is a place. “-Dylan Thomas
I am SO relieved to know you are human! lol
and your new house is wonderful already…you will make it amazing!
I know I’m commenting late, but I’m just now getting to read this . . . been in the midst of my own moving/unpacking saga of my own. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honesty about your post-move mental status. It is hard to move – so much more so than most people realize. Throw in long distances, difficult situations, lots of kids, several moves in a row, and you really do have the perfect recipe for a Mom-Meltdown! We have moved plenty, and it never gets easier . . . and it feels so, so good to have you share that though you look so put-together from this vantage point, you too struggle with all that a move brings. Thank you for your transparency!
I am thrilled to hear of your new home and will be praying for you as we set up/re-do our new home.
Thank you for adding that little bit at the end of your post about feeling pushed over the edge! I have followed you for over a year now just reveling in the wonder of living in Europe. But I can imagine the stress of taking care of a large family, working and moving back to the U.S. to be completely overwhelming. It’s nice when wonderful women like you admit that it does take its toll. There’s such a culture of perfectionism and having it all together which tends to make us feel ever more imperfect and not put together, especially when all we can see is what is on-line. It sometimes doesn’t feel real. Thank you for being honest, especially about mental health. It’s still feels so taboo to admit you might need some help every now and then. Best Wishes!
Dear Gabrielle,
greetings from as far as Estonia :) I´ve been following your blog and I send you my support and best wishes! I have 3 kids and when it gets tough, I dream of time when I will be grandmother… Sincerely, Siiri
Gabrielle,
Thanks for the P.S.
I moved about 6 weeks ago and have been feeling blue (even though the new house is fantastic!) I don’t usually get depressed but I’ve been overwhelmed by regular life (which includes hubby and 5 kids) plus moving. We are very lucky and blessed to find the house so I don’t feel entitled to feel bad.
Time to slow it down a bit and stop pushing myself so hard. :)
Hope you feel better!
Dear Gabrielle,
Congratulations on the lovely house! And I’m adding my good wishes and prayers to everyone else who loves you, even without knowing you, from your consistently kind and gentle and lovely tone. You are such a light. I hope you feel better soon!
Wow! What an amazing ride, and no doubt you’ve been under intense stress for a prolonged period. Do whatever you need to get back to yourself.
We live in the Bay Area, so while not totally unseen, both of our houses were purchased without seeing the inside. The market was/is crazy, and we had to make quick decisions based on neighborhood and a snap judgment made during a drive by. Both times we were lucky to get the houses we did.
I don’t know if you are technically in the Oakland Hills, but I have relatives who’ve lived there for their entire lives, or came from Italy to live there, and they still love it.
Gabrielle,
when I moved back home after 5 years in Europe (Austria) I went through a really down time. Not only is it overwhelming to move overseas, but I think that I couldn’t really related to anyone because I had this fabulous experience, and noone really was interested in it. I didn’t feel like I could relate to anyone I knew. Plus, I was exhausted. It took me about a half a year to recover, I hope that it takes you less time. I probably should have gone to the doctor to get help, I never even thought about that. I’m glad that you are wiser. Take care.
What a beautiful house, and story, Gabrielle. Sorry to hear about your struggles, but glad to read you’re getting help.
What a beautiful story!! Thank you so much for sharing!! We’re moving into a flat I’ve never seen before in Scotland next week and it feels crazy! Also, I love how you are showing that nothing about following your dreams is ever as easy as it seems from an Instagram picture or smaller soundbyte! Lots of hard work and patience is always involved! Thanks again! And best of wishes!
Loves!
We are currently in our 10th home over the past 16 years. I am a trooper, just like you. However, not this move, but the one before, I found myself exhausted. I saw a doctor, and we holistically tested for diabetes, B12, and other things that could explain why I had to go back to bed at 8:30AM whne the kid went off to school, and why it wa so very hard to drag myself back out of bed at 3PM when they returned. My doctor finally diagnosed me with depression (what?! I never even felt sad!) but after about 6 months on a mild anti-depressant, I was as good as new. That was 5 years ago. I hope you have a similar recovery.
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I haven’t visited your blog in a while so didn’t know about The Treehouse before now. What an amazing story.
This house is most definitely a treasure…!!!! As I was looking through these pictures, I thought “this would be such a cool house to grow up in”. It just looks like home, and I’m not even the one who’ll be living in it! ;)
Hope things are settling in for you. Mental illness is a b**ch. Hopefully it’s just situational. Take care!
We built a house from overseas. We have to decide everything in two days and I think our house it is beautiful. You are a blessed family.
You are amazing! Rooting for you.
Hello, Gabrielle! I’m more than a bit behind in my blog reading, but imagine my surprise to find out that you live here! We just bought our first house — moving from Oakland to a tiny house in Albany, so I certainly understand the trials and tribulations of this crazy Bay Area real estate market — I thought I’d lose my mind with the number of houses I fell in love with, mentally moved into, and lost out on. How extraordinarily lucky you were to find this place! Looking forward to reading the rest of the series.