By Gabrielle.
This is the story of how The Treehouse, our home in Oakland, came to be ours.
This is the long version of the story. I’m still figuring out how to tell it in a short version.
Starting last summer, when we embarked on our final year in France, we started looking online at real estate in Colorado. We had loved living in Colorado and our plans never strayed from moving back. We just needed to find a house. We wanted to buy something and settle down. In fact, that was our original plan when we first moved to Colorado, but at the time, we weren’t able to find a house, and then we got distracted by France. : )
We really wanted to buy a house before we moved back, because I was overwhelmed by the idea of moving twice — first into a rental, and then into a purchased house, possibly in two different school districts. Ugh. Purchasing a house and moving directly in sounded ever so much more appealing.
So we searched. In every Denver neighborhood. In the suburbs. In the mountains. We did specific searches. We did broad searches. Occasionally we would find something we were interested in — and I would sometimes share our finds on Facebook. But nothing was quite right. Or a house might get grabbed up before we had a chance to really consider it.
There’s no question we were being really picky. We were looking for an extraordinary house. Living in La Cressonnière had changed us. It was such an amazing home. I remember returning from our trip to Venice, driving up to the farmhouse and acknowledging it was every bit as lovely as anything we had seen on vacation.
We both work at home, and shoot photos at home, and film at home, and spend so much time at home. Home matters. We were determined to find an extraordinary house that we could really fall in love with. That was a joy to drive up to. That was a treat to live in. It didn’t need to be in perfect condition, but it needed really good bones. And it turns out, that sort of house is hard to find.
By January, we were a little nervous. Would we be able to find a house? Did we need to extend our time in France? Should we build? What are our other options? I was chatting about our house hunt with my sister, Jordan, and she mentioned we should look at the Bay Area. I shrugged off her suggestion and told her we were priced out of the housing market in San Francisco (and every big city — New York and L.A., too!) But she tried to convince me. She reminded me that we don’t have a commute, and that if we looked further out of the city, there were some great deals. So I did a real estate search by map that covered the entire area, and looked for houses big enough to hold our family and in our price range. But alas, it was just what I thought. We were out-priced.
Except.
There was this one house. It was big and yellow. It had 5 bedrooms. It was on 2 acres and backed up to a park! It was 100 years old and needed vast renovations (which is my kind of project). It was in El Cerrito — a little north of Berkeley and Oakland. There was certainly nothing else out there like it — every house around it was on a tiny plot of land. And it was in our price range. A miracle!!
We asked Jordan to go check it out in person. She took tons of photos, even made a little video, and emailed everything to us. She told us that it needed a lot of work, but it was a really neat house. And we felt like the 2 acres made it a no brainer.
We knew it was a long shot, but we felt compelled to go for it. It was an extraordinary house. And even though we hadn’t seriously considered the area, there were strong draws for us to San Francisco. My father grew up in the Bay Area and I had been raised with visits to my grandparents in Menlo Park and San Carlos, so I had some roots there. Plus, I have a sister and brother in the area. Plus, our fields of work are centered there, and Ben of Pinterest’s advice to move where your field of work is headquartered had stayed with me since I’d heard him speak those words at Alt Summit 2012.
So Jordan recommended a local real estate agent (which we needed in order to make a bid on the house), and he recommended a mortgage agent, and she helped us get pre-qualified, and we bid on the house. The conversation with Jordan, to the search, to the bidding on the house, took place over about 5 days. It was fast. And a little nuts.
Sadly, the next week, we found out that not only was our offer not accepted, there were also over 20 other bids, and the top bid was 200,000+ beyond the asking price. Yikes!
Our conclusion: clearly, that house was an exception, it had been priced too low, and our first impression — that we were priced out of the area — was indeed true. But we didn’t feel too bad. It had been good to go through the work of getting pre-qualified. It had been over a decade since we’d owned a house and it was good to remember what the buying process is like. So we abandoned our search in the Bay Area as quickly as we had picked it up, and we returned our focus to Colorado.
And we were feeling more exploratory at that point, so we broadened our search. We kept searching Colorado, but we worked with a real estate agent in Santa Barbara, too. That’s where Ben Blair’s father grew up, so we felt roots there as well.
But, now we were on the radar of the real estate agent in Oakland, and once in awhile he would send a listing he thought we’d like. I eventually wrote him an email and told him we simply weren’t interested. We had only bid on the yellow house because it was extraordinary. And the very few options in our price range in the Bay Area just weren’t appealing to us. The good stuff was too expensive. He totally got it.
But a few weeks later, he emailed again. He had a house he thought we would really like. It was being privately sold (instead of publicly listed) because the couple who owned it were older and they didn’t want the hassle of open houses and bidding wars. Since there was no listing, he had no link or photos to show us, but thought we would really like the house. We were grateful he thought of us, but without photos to look at, we didn’t give it much thought. And I didn’t want to bother my siblings to go take photos — I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.
Several weeks later, he emailed about the same house again, encouraging us to send someone to look at it and take photos. It was now March, and we were feeling so unsettled we decided to give it a try. So we asked Jordan again, and she took photos and made a little video again. And as she was driving away, she called us in France and said, “I don’t what the price is, but if you can afford it, you should buy this house.”
The photos she sent us are the photos in this post! These shots feature the furniture and belongings of the previous owners. (Jordan actually sent about 100 photos, so this is 20% of what we saw.)
When we saw the images, we fell in love with the house immediately. It’s a mid-century house with unusual architecture. And it’s completely surrounded by forest. It’s in a residential neighborhood, but there are so many trees, we can’t see our neighbors — it feels totally private! The house is built into the side of a hill and even on the main floor, it feels elevated, like you are high above the forest floor. The main floor is surrounded by decks and patios, and the 2nd floor has two decks as well. And because the weather here is wonderful year round, it’s really designed for indoor/outdoor living. There’s even a tiny stream in the back yard. Everyone that has visited us so far has commented that being here is like being in a treehouse.
It’s definitely an extraordinary home.
So mid-March, we bid on the house, and our real estate agent suggested we write a letter to the homeowners as well. Turns out the letter did the trick. There was another (apparently better) bid, but they accepted our offer! We couldn’t believe it!! We kept asking each other: Is this for real? Are we really moving to Oakland? To California?? After all this time, are we going to be homeowners again?
Through April and May we applied for our mortgage. That process, made more difficult by being overseas, just about did us in. I swear, it was like a 40 hour per week job. Nuts. But the sellers were incredibly patient. And so was our accountant. And so was our mortgage agent. And eventually, it happened! The official closing occurred mid-June.
And on July 15th, we flew from Paris to San Francisco, rented a van, drove to Oakland, and saw this house — which we had bought — for the very first time.
This post is long enough as it is. So I’ll save details about the number of bedrooms, the renovation work that needs to be done, and the furniture we inherited, for next week. But I have to acknowledge how lucky we feel. If it hadn’t been a private sale, with owners who weren’t intent on getting the highest possible price, we never could have bought it. This house is such a gift, a treasure. We couldn’t feel more gratitude about calling it our own.
Friends, I’d love to hear: have any of you ever bought a house without seeing it in person first? (I’m sure we’re not alone!) Or, do you think we’re crazy?
P.S. — Speaking of crazy, I’m afraid this move has pushed me over the edge. I’m definitely struggling. During the year after we moved to New York, I experienced a full-on breakdown, and happily, it hasn’t reached that level. But my mental state feels more serious than a typical “down” day for me. If things don’t improve over the weekend, I’ll see a doctor to get some help. Thanks for your patience as my publishing schedule has been so erratic this month. And for those of you waiting on emails from me, my sincere apologies. We’ll get things sorted out eventually!
I’ve been waiting for this story, and it’s as amazing and wonderful as I had hoped! So happy for your sweet family,
Congratulations! That house and the circumstances to get it are amazing!
Your “speaking of crazy” made me chuckle. Sometimes sense of humour is what gets a person through it, it being [almost] “over the edge” ; speaking as someone whose feels like mental health is precarious, I use humour too. Not so much to put others at ease but to lighten my load. It helps release the weight on heart.
Take care, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Better to take days off then to post every day and suffer.
I took a breath when I read your “p.s.”, since I was thinking about you all last night, and sending strength. I had a strong feeling that things must be overwhelming – culture shock, work, a house move…everything. And then I saw this post. Sending strength and breaths, and I hope you surround yourself with quiet, green nature this weekend.
We bought our house in Ottawa without seeing it while we lived in Germany. It was exactly where we wanted to live. We had a friend check it out and he gave us a thumbs up…so we jumped in with both feet and we are so glad we did!
I adore the house photos….the story even better. But how exhausting and such upheaval! You probably are just now finding the time to feel some feelings–not easy I know. The woods, your family, & new memories in the Treehouse will soothe and comfort. God Bless
The house is stunning – I’m looking forward to seeing more photos. Congratulations – sounds like kismet the way you got it.
Also sounds like in addition to moving shock…you probably are experiencing some degree of cultural re-adjustment…hang in there – I’m sure your readers will understand. How are the kids doing? Because as a mother, my additional stress from moving happened as I was extra stressing about my kids’ adjustment. I’m sure better days are ahead..time has a way of working things out.
What a magical story! Thank you for sharing it and I can’t wait to see how you make this house yours over the coming years. Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers. Take care! Xoxo
dear gabrielle,
goodness you’ve had such a life change this summer! sometimes i have to remind myself to slow down & be gentle with myself when i feel down as you expressed – i somehow tend to think i should just sail through everything, no problem & really thats so silly! Isnt it funny the care we often take with our children to help them through change, yet we have to be reminded to care for ourselves? sometimes i have to remember to mother myself well, too :). blessings, (e)friend as you go on your journey. sending you love & sweet thoughts from TX to CA.
Ps: i really love the funny yet spiritual writings of Anne Lamott, if you need suggestion pf a book to sneak away with. Plus she’s a fellow bay area resident, if im not mistaken!
It IS a treasure! Definitely meant to be. I’m so happy for you all. What a gorgeous place to land. : )
Take care. Enjoy your family, new lives, new city and new home. We’ll be here when you’re ready and settled. No rush, friend.
as a fellow working mom and blogger, i have nothing but the utmost respect for you. designmom is one of the few blogs that always seems truly genuine to me.
your new house looks incredible, and i cannot even imagine how you pulled off this recent move.
thank you for continuing to be honest, despite how very hard (and probably painful) that must be at times.
i wish you all the peace, love and support you need to feel better.
Wow! All I can say is wow! How wonderful and I hope you get feeling better so that you can fully enjoy this treasure with your family! Bisous xo
Your home is beautiful and you will love the Bay Area. I send warm wishes for your recovery. Rest, be gentle with yourself, and thank you for allowing your readers to give you some support and encouragement.
Gabrielle, I’m sending you calming thoughts and prayers as you settle into your new – utterly AMAZING- home. Take care of yourself, we’ll all be here once you get yourself renewed.
Lord’s Blessings in your regroup Gabrielle. That’s #1 for your family and yourself. REST in those beautiful trees.
Congrats!! I am ecstatic for you guys! What a blessing and a sure sign that God is watching over you! As someone who has suffered major re-entry shock, let me assure you that every ounce of excitement, nervousness, and sadness that you feel (even if it all happens within the same three seconds and comes with a million emotions in between) is completely normal. I felt out of sorts for a very long time when we moved back to the States after our time in Spain. Just be patient with yourself. You have A LOT on your plate right now. Don’t worry about blogging. I doubt there is a single one of us that expects a thing from you right now. Just take a breath and enjoy some processed food! :-) Hugs from Copenhagen!!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful new home with us. I can definitely see why you could not let this one get away…it is truly magical!
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers as you make this life altering transition…blessings be…
Take care of *you*, Gabby.
It looks like a perfect place to repatriate! Congratulations on finding a magic treehouse of your own.
Praying for you in Tennessee. :)
So many blessings involved in this move/relocation. Slow down and take time to enjoy them.
Absolutely beautiful house. (Generic compliment, but I really really mean it.)
Such a beautiful house for a beautiful family! Adore.
After we moved to Italy from Germany in the early 70’s, my mother took to her bed for a week. It was a bleak time but the poor woman just cracked after an intense move (there were more to come in the future). You are only so strong, treat yourself gently and respect how fragile you are at the moment. The sun will shine again. <3
I’m moving this month too, and while trying to declutter I came across this quote about moving and thought of you. Hang in there and get the support you need :)
“The emotional impact of changing one’s lifestyle, parting with objects from the past and going through a house full of belongings — and memories — is hard work, both mentally and physically.”
I am so happy for you! And thank you for sharing where you (really) are with all of it. I can honestly relate—our family moved the beginning of July, and it has been a whirlwind, physically and emotionally. We’re all pulling for you! xo
A lovely house for a lovely family. Be kind to yourself and take your time. Your most inspiring living with kids posts are the homes that are not magazine perfect. Your blog would be wonderful no matter how infrequently you posted – you write beautifully and you have cheered me up many times when I have been struggling. Love and hugs as you settle in. x
Whew, Gabby, what a ride. What all this means is….maybe you’re normal? To be honest, I love reading your blog — but sometimes how perfect everything looks and seems becomes, well, a downer…in that it’s so freaking “aspirational” to me that I envy you and feel bad about my own life and my incapacity to live “perfectly.” Which is clearly not your intention, but is what happens to people who spend a lot of time on Facebook, too (I try not to as a result). I’ve always appreciated the candor of your “I wear pajamas sometimes” post — but this P.S is even more relatable. It’s true — you are amazing and talented and creative and you have a wonderful family (and I trust that maybe sometimes they do bicker or refuse to wear pretty clothes or need to be marched out of a store where you’d love to wander and might prefer to be alone)…But you are made even more beautiful just now with your vulnerability on the PS. I too work from home (telecommute from CET to ET, you know what that’s like), live overseas and have two kids and an over-working husband — I also have a part time nanny and still can’t pull off perfect in general — or even the appearance of slight perfection, regular home cooked meals, or even manage to wash my hair more than 3x a week (thank goodness for Euro standards of clean hair). But wow. Just wow. I liked you a lot to start with, but we could actually grab a cup of coffee (if I drank coffee) now! You’re going to be fine. You’re simply a wonderful, normal person who is currently doing more than is humanly possible (enrolling in new schools, school supplies, buying a house sight unseen!, renovating a house in France, working on speakers for a huge conference, planning events for huge conference, contributing and managing several commercially successful websites/blogs, being a wife, friend, mom, in-house interior designer…it makes me tired to list my own things, but when I list yours I feel tired.) Breathe…
It is so lovely! And I am eager to see you make it your own. Over time! Be good to yourself and don’t expect to have it perfect right away. We bought a house without seeing it one year ago and moved away from the lovely northeastern United States to the deep south for my husband’s medical training. What a change! There were some surprises, but it has over all been a perfect house for us, and we are learning to love this part of the country, too. Moving depression is very real, and for me it lasts about a year, and then I start to really feel like myself again and start to care about all those things I cared about again. The sun will come out! Hang in there.
Gabby, thanks so much for sharing the story of your house – I love it and when the dust settles it will be a great place for you to enjoy the next chapter of your life.
I’m glad to know you are human, because I was beginning to wonder with all the high stress things you have had on your plate over the past few months. I frankly don’t know how you did it. I’m glad you are taking it seriously and will take some time to unwind and relax and rest.
It’s fun to hear the story! Can’t wait to see more of the tree house. The peeks on Instagram/FB have been tantalizing.
Sending love and happy thoughts for your health. I just started seeing a therapist to get me through some antepartum blues and it’s probably the best decision I’ve made all year. Take care of yourself, whatever it takes!
I’ll be keeping you in my prayers, Gabrielle. Making a big move is NOT an easy thing- physically and psychologically/emotionally. When we did a big move last year and had to do a total purge (because we were moving into a tiny home of under 500 square feet) I felt excited yet also like I was losing something….and I also got mad at myself for having a hard time letting go of some things. Not just physical objects, but memories, etc. Please know that you will be prayed for….and that The Lord cares for you and your family very much. :)
Beautiful house! And so glad that everything worked out for your family! We had a similar blessing when we bought the property that we built our current house on.
Take care of yourself! Rest, simplify and ask for help! I know what it likes to re-locate and it is over-whelming! I have learned that some of the best money we ever spent during those time was on things that helped me to simplify and save my mental health! xo-
thinking of you and wishing you healing & calm as you settle into this new and wonderful home for you and your family.
What a great story, and a great home. Sending prayers and love your way…
I had no idea that you had Menlo Park ties…we’ve lived here for 13 years and love it, but I’ve always secretly (or not so?) wanted to live in a “treehouse” and live abroad. You’re 2 dreams ahead of me, sister! :)
Congratulations!
This is such a fantastic house, it deserves a fantastic family like you! Congrats. And cut yourself some slack. Moving is really hard, physically and emotionally speaking. Moving countries amplifies it. I’ve lived abroad on two occasions (and still do!) and found it much harder to move back home than to move to a new country. Hang in there! This too shall pass.
How amazing! The dust will surely settle as it always does. Congratulations and best wishes!
We found our current home on the internet and bought it without ever seeing it. My parents flew up to see it and then we put $ down and took a big giant leap. We were living back East and moving to the West coast. I had house hunted for a week in the area and couldn’t find anything and then got home and I found it on the internet as a for sale by owner. I would not do that again, but it has worked out. I often wonder how you manage such a crazy amount of traveling coupled with a move and motherhood. Good luck. I am no under achiever, but I am very conscious of my limits so don’t be ashamed of taking a break.
This is so exciting and I’ve been waiting to fix up our new home before writing about it but you’re making me anxious now! We had recently moved from the Chicago area to Ohio & within a few months found out we’d be moving to Oregon earlier this year. From my couch in Ohio I found a home on Craigslist! Thankfully the owners had it for rent but were hoping to sell it without listing… And it just so happened it was the only thing available to fit our family at the time, so we rented it, fell in love, and started the buying process. I honestly feel if it had been listed it would have been snatched up right away but we had to have the patience of buying via short sale. Since we were living in it anyway, we didn’t mind (too much) and got it at a great deal. It’s gorgeous and even has a tiny ocean view, as well as mountains on the other side! So happy for you and your latest adventure!!
I do have to say it was quite an experience to drive across the country to a home I had never seen in person!
Steph
Thank you for sharing the photos of your treehouse! What a happy story for you, for finding it and for the couple who wanted to find a family who would love it as much as they had. I love the trees and the decks and that little loft area (Hello, Romeo and Juliet/Rapunzel performances!), but I think the stream would be my very favorite part. :)
I wonder if down days occur more often when we’re pulled out of balance, or maybe it’s a natural by-product of change and transitions. Whatever’s behind it, you’re definitely not alone.
Hang in there girl. We just moved to the Bay Area to a house sight-un-seen as well from overseas! Your story is so similar to mine it’s crazy. I too have been feeling extra down and not myself at all. My first gatherings with friends and family have even felt out of balance and it makes me second guess why we came back.
But… time heals and after a week of saying “no” to any gatherings, any travels and just being in town and our new home as a family, I already feel a little better. I need the space to reconnect with our tribe and not have any parties or things to do.
I’m close by if you need to talk – anytime….stay strong and be well.
Gabrielle,
Perfection is so overrated. Sanity, sleep and balance are way more important. I CAN NOT IMAGINE moving across the world to an area you have never lived and getting kids set up for school. My heart races just thinking about it.
Warm wishes Gabrielle,
This doctor/mother/wife/fellow beauty seeker gets it
Loving your treehouse home. I hope you get to feeling better soon. I think not having set foot in the house would have done it for me and then an international move on top of that and kids to worry for too, that’s a lot of worry right there. Walking your neighborhood, finding the different areas and such would be a good way to move in some more. And meditation and soaking in of that yard, just let it come to you. Much love and godspeed!
The house is gorgeous, congrats! It reminds me of the house I grew up in Portland. There is something so calming about being surrounded in trees all day.
We just bought a townhouse in Seattle without physically seeing it. We were moving from the East Coast and I, as well, did not want to deal with a rental and two moves. Technology (seeing it on video and through photos) calmed my nerves. It is also very new which helped. We couldn’t be happier. It is in a beautiful neighborhood next to a popular lake just a couple miles north of downtown. Sometimes you have to go on faith.
Gabrielle, we moved back from living internationally a year ago. It was our 7th move and our second return from an international post. Moving sucks! Seriously, this time around I felt like I was suffering from dementia. You probably feel like you’re losing it. I can only tell you that it all gets better! Lowering my expectations for myself, and focusing on the basics (give the kids a hug) was the best thing I did. And I love your new house!
You haven’t mentioned, are you suffering from reverse culture shock? I know I cried the first time I went to Costco when we came back!
What a beautiful home–so happy for you guys! And thank you for your honesty–moving can be so difficult, even when it’s under the best circumstances. How fortunate, though, that you and your husband both wanted to do this, and you were able to buy an amazing place. I’ve been struggling, too, with our most recent move–I do hope things will get better, but right now I’m still just hurting, on top of the disorienting chaos that this has created for me. Do take care of yourself, and best wishes to you and your family in your new home & community!
Gabby, I have only ever written once but your candor about how you are doing in the midst of the post move fallout (as we call it in our many times moved family), is prompting me to do so again. Moves big and small (& especially with young children) can be, after a health crisis, one of life’s biggest challenges, I think. If you are so overwhelmed that you feel as though you are drowning just to get through the day, please know that you are not alone. Seeing a therapist, talking to a professional, neutral party could absolutely be a game (read life) changer for you. You are and will continue to be in my thoughts. Take care of yourself and the rest will follow. XXOO
How could you NOT feel a little crazy/overwhelmed/stressed/etc after that move! Sounds like it’s been such a whirlwind (involving different countries, and different states) in the last few months, you need the dust to settle down right now! Good luck with everything, and congratulations on your super cool house!
P.S. When I start to feel like this, I like to think what things will be like 3 months down the road. Focus there, and you’ll feel better?
Thank you for this post. I love the story of how you found your home, it is such a perfect tale of how life takes us along for the journey.
But I really appreciated your last paragraph, as someone who has experienced such lows, it is comforting to hear that others do as well. As many have said above, take your time and we will be here. During my lows, it was the kindness of friends, family and strangers that really helped me, so please let us know if we can help in some way. Thinking of you!!
The house looks incredible, and I’m sure you and your family will be very happy there. It does sound like it was meant to be so no doubt you’ve landed in the right spot. However, I can understand how the entire process would have you reeling. Take care of yourself; better days are coming.
The house is absolutely beautiful, and looks like a magical place to raise your kids. I wonder what kinds of French traditions/foods/etc you will make a part of your life in the US?
I’m sorry to hear you are struggling – I can’t imagine the stress of a cross-country move. I hope you can find some peace/vitamins/rest soon. And don’t worry one second about all of us readers. We will be waiting patiently for you to be back :)
Dear Gabrielle,
Your blog is the only one I try to follow. You are SO good at what you do, it is sincerely impressive. I wanted to share with you something that may help.
I learned in the University about what is called, “Depression of mission accomplished” The person puts so much of themselves into achieving a specific goal that when it is done the person collapses…for a while ..until they are able to re charge and collect some energy again. Unfortunately in the period they are down, they see everything black, but they do get away from that space in time. It affects many people, specially sensitive and empathetic people. My cousin just run for a nomination in the very competitive up coming presidential election in Chile., he run an exhausting campaign against great odds and to many’s jubilation, he won.
A few days later, his sons had to appear in the news announcing their father was sick…could not carry on ..Depression of mission accomplished.
Take your time dear Gabrielle, it happens to the best and it gets better as you give yourself a bit of time and space to re charge.
Affectionally
Isabel
Gabrielle,
My prayers and thoughts are with you. Those moves are very hard on creative people specially the ones that feel and love deeply. Glad you are searching for help. Once you have a little help you can see the end of the tunnel and you will be back on your feet again. Stay positive!!! Always look on the bright side.